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Song Parodies -> "Coq Au Vin Lewinsky Hummus Clams™!"

Original Song Title:

"Walking In A Winter Wonderland"

Original Performer:

Bing Crosby, Dean Martin, etc

Parody Song Title:

"Coq Au Vin Lewinsky Hummus Clams™!"

Parody Written by:

TJC

The Lyrics


The restaurant business can be brutal!
Sometimes anxious owners get--how shall I phrase it... 'overly creative'?
~

Gray jells cling -- to each serving
Ladled plate's -- Ewww, unnerving!
It's opening night
But something ain't right:
Coq Au Vin Lewinsky Hummus Clams™!

Passed away -- the food writer
Medics say -- "Got a biter!"
I'm guessin' they'll bar
My Michelin star
Chalk it up to Coq'y Hummus Clams™!

In this restaurant I've sunk a fortune
'Word-of-mouth' is key--or so I've found
Thus I reasoned, "Nothin' sells like 'whore poon'!"
in HINDsight Naughty Bi-valve'd Coq's unsound!

Later on -- at the courthouse
Catered prawns -- from my Torte Haus™
'De-briefed' the whole place
They blew out my case
Yockin' judge 'evacuated' stands!

In this business 'word-of-mouth' is crucial
Little things'll thwart the best laid plans
Customers (surviving) 'word' was 'douchial'
Perhaps our hummus'd coqs got out of hand?

Now I sell -- 'Nam Falafel™
From a cart -- damn, they're awful!
This Asian-Greek mange
Is *truly* 'free-range'
ROCKin' Ho-Chi-Gyros™ at my stand!

And since my sous chef's are rats
I brought some big vats--
Yockin' bins for chunder's close at hand!

~

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   9
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User Comments

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Jeff Reuben - December 31, 2009 - Report this comment
I was wondering how Lewinsky was in this, and if it had to do with Monica. Funny song!
Old Man Ribber - December 31, 2009 - Report this comment
5-5-5 stars for this high cuisine! ;D
blackjack21 - December 31, 2009 - Report this comment
Uuum, I'll just have a glass of water and 555 Alka-Seltzers.
Christie Marie M - December 31, 2009 - Report this comment
Very delectable parody and echo OMR's comment! Here's 555 a la carte!
AFW - December 31, 2009 - Report this comment
Classy dinner..How much is the Bill?
Leo Keough - December 31, 2009 - Report this comment
A culinary classic served with a twist of rhyme!!!...555!!!
TJC - December 31, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks guys... Monica and Hanta Claus are coming to town!
Peter Andersson - January 01, 2010 - Report this comment
As long as there's no cheese...
It's "Haute" (pronounced "Ho") Cuisine - January 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Yet another "hair 'n the Torte Haus™" fable....

I tried to picture it all, but as the Temptations said, "It was just my invagination ... running away with me..."

Sets a new high/low in over-the-top and under-the-bottom word-play, and other-kinds-of-play. Title switch alone gets 555 stars in the Michelin guide -- that's enough to get you re-tired!
TJC - January 04, 2010 - Report this comment
Ooooh! Clever nom de hare!
And thanks for the sup-whore't, sir!
BTW, I know this great new eatery we could try...
Try? Let's open a chain... - January 04, 2010 - Report this comment
..... actually, credit for that suggestion goes to McKludge:
http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/eagles70.shtml

Shoulda' listened -- we'd be rich by now. :)

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