I told you not to even ask her out. I TOLD you that shaved head, while initially a turn on, would come back to haunt you.

Oh, and I gave it 5s. I thought I'd clarify, as all of your other voters seem to be mute. And unable to type.

not half bad 5's

So the monkeys couldn't quite muster the whole song, eh?

I had a girlfriend with a shaved head once. Turned out I wasn't the only Polish guy whose picture she tore up. Now she tells me that nothing compares to me. What can I say, I'm a Prince of a guy. As for the song... Monkeys, as Gwen Stefani would say, here's five B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

Good one.

How many points does that christmas star have, anyway?

Thanx, Stevenagh (heh heh) & Patagio & carol & Arwen (heh heh x2).

Royce: Actually, the monkeys found the OS unnecessarily repetitive and opted to fix, rather than perpetuate, the problem. But thanks for your concern.

Michaelopedia: SNL, JP2, NPG, LAMB; LOL.

:-) Off to the racists. Good one. 555

Must have forgotten to hit "Submit Comments", 'cause when I came back to see what you'd made of my wonderfully erudite and witty submission I noticed it weren't there. Ah, well... I'd repeat it, if I could remember wtf I said.

Spaff--I'm not concerned; I'm pointing out, for anyone who might want to know, that there is a verse to the song; and I thought that top notch writers like the Monkeys would want to set an example of writing a complete song.

Two things: 1) The pacing is not quite perfect; supremacist has two more syllables than Christmas. 2) Why is Spaff.com thanking everyone when A Room Full Of Monkeys wrote this?

1) And 'Mr. X' has one less syllable than 'Anal Bastard,' but it still paces pretty well to me.

2) Because Spaff is the Monkeys' Admin. Assistant. Duh.

Rick: Heh heh.

Philbo: I'm sure it was erudite and witty. And loaded with superlatives like "masterpiece."

Royce: I wasn't sure wtf you were on about, so I researched "White Christmas" and - I'll be damned - before the "I'm dreaming of a white Christmas" stuff, there's a verse about the orange and palm trees swaying in Beverly Hills (gimme gimme). I've never once heard that, so good catch. You win my roommate's armband with initials that I believe stand for "Spaff's Stupid."

Mr. X: Those are two very astute observations.

Miss Se(X)y: There's an elf in my pants!

Well I was not aware that Spaff was the Monkey's Admin. Are you sure?

And who gives a fudge about "anal basterd"?

I agree with Mister X; you cannot easily sing a four-syllable word in place of a two-sylable word. But the rest of the pacing is fine. My vote is 4,5,5.

Spaff...I've asked you to stop telling people about that. Now neither of us will ever enjoy AmiRight Hide and Seek again. >: (

Mr X...of COURSE I'm sure. You don't stalk a guy for 2 years without learning about his moonlighting gigs in service to the AmiRight primates. But...um...am I talking to the same guy from before? Because YOUR name has one less period than the first X's name...and I really don't want to get caught addressing the wrong anal bastArd.

You said "ass-toot" again. Heh heh.

Who cares whether or not I used the period the second time or not? Quite frankly, I don't think anyone has to be so re10tive about it.

Spaff, well it was pretty classy of you to admit that you discovered the verse--the Carpenters included it in their version of White Christmas and that's where I heard it.....you're shocked that I would listen to the Carpenters, I know.

Thank you, dear commenters. And Royce: Classy is my middle name. If you don't count Spafford. Or Benito.

I'm going to have to back Mr X and CJ on this...the pacing is NOT perfect.

I don't think the word "ANAL" means "overly concerned with petty details," as lots of users of that word on this site have implied. If you look it up in your f**k and Wagnall's it won't say that.

Yet another great one I missed! 555!

I still feel that the pacing is not spot on. Why? Because of a disagreement in the # of syllables. So I'm sticking with my 4,5,5 vote.

CJ has a point; sticking an extra syllable (or two) in there throws off the pacing, so it doesn't flow correctly. Sorry, Roomful.

Thanks, Jack, for digging into the archives!

To those who have observed that a four-syllable word has more syllables than a two-syllable word: Kudos. I deliberately replaced "Christmas" with the clearly longer "Supremacist," considering the effect were it to be sung (a la Larry the Cable Guy) to an unsuspecting audience. So the mismatch is not supposed to be merely obvious, but jarringly so. I'm glad it didn't get past you.

Youre welcome! Did ya see my comment on Blind Dates Kind of Bite?

I see your point, but it just doesn't flow very well when sung.

I'm with Critic.

Jackie: Yes, but you know that already. Sorry for the delayed reply.

Critic/Rafael: I feel like I'm talking to a wall here, but I'll try one more time. Authors sometimes deliberately skew the meter for effect. There are a couple of parodies of The 12 Days of Christmas that come to mind: Allan Sherman replaces "eleven pipers piping" with "an automatic vegetable slicer that works when you see it on television but not when you get it home" and Bob & Doug McKenzie replace "partridge in a pear tree" with "beer." No, those lines don't fit the meter. That's the point.

I am well aware of the "beer" version. That word has FEWER syllables than the original ("partridge"). But "supremacist" has MORE syllables than "Chrismtas", hence it screws up the whole song. So the pacing is NOT spot on, as Mr. X and C.J. and I have pointed out.

It's a good concept and all, but the pacing is anything but perfect. Sorry guys.

Wow. The comments are becoming almost as hilarious as the song. I wonder if the clueless wall people are drive-by nobodies or actual AmiRighters without the cojones to identify themselves. I certainly hope they keep it up; it's quite entertaining.

Hey, Claude. I think it's time for me to concede. People who know the difference between two and four are operating on a whole nother level.

Yeah. The difference between two and four is two. Duh...