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Song Parodies -> "Gettysbeer Address"

Original Song Title:

"Gettysburg Address"

Original Performer:

Abraham Lincoln

Parody Song Title:

"Gettysbeer Address"

Parody Written by:

Rick Duncan

The Lyrics

Don't know if this has been done, don't care. Down a six-pack and it might make sense
THE GETTYSBEER (HIC) ADDRESS

Four pours and seven beers ago our brewers brought froth
with this incontinence, a new notion,contrived in a laboratory, and medicated to a prone position, that all men should imbibe a sequel.

Now we are enraged by a great ad-ful war, tasting whether that notion, or any notion so contrived and so medicated, can be a cure.
We are lured by the “Great taste-less filling” ad bore.

We have come to eradicatea potion that we swig, as a final drinking place for those that brewed their wares that that there notion might drink.

We are altogether burping and slurring as we do this.

But in a lager sense, we can not masticate—we can not constipate—we can not swallow—this ale. The brew men, sober and drunk,
who staggered here, have masticated it,
far above our gold shower to addle or disgust.

The bars will little know or long remember what we drank here,
but we can always regret what we did here.

It is for us the living, if you can call it that, to be medicated
here to the great flask remaining before us---that from these empty flasks we take increased libation to that Coors for which we gave
the last tall measure of ingestion.

That we beer high-life revolve that these empties shall not have
dried in brain.

That this lotion, in my bod, shall have a new batch of brewski,----and that drunkeness of the people, Budweiser people, former people,
shall not perish from the thirst.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   10
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Dylan Baranski - May 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Er, I think we're not allowed to parody speeches, only musical pieces & certain poems.
Michael Pacholek - May 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Well, Lincoln was known for having a sense of humor, and I think he would've liked it. And so, my fellow comedians, ask not what your comedy can do for you, ask what you can do for your comedy.
Red Ant - May 18, 2007 - Report this comment
I'd love to hear this one recorded! I had thought of doing one called "The Ghetto Whores Undressed" - maybe when whatfreaks returns... inspired work, Rick.
TJC - May 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Ditto Red Ant... mucho skill on display here, Rick!
Steve K. - May 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Deserves a few 5-packs. Can't wait for the surrender at Ale-omattox.
Some Person - May 18, 2007 - Report this comment
I always like to see "non-songs" parodied... you really wrote this one well. I gotta hand it to ya. While I ain't a huge beer drinker myself, I think this "parody" is rather creative. I'll give you a perfect score on this. :-)
John Barry - May 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Soaring oratory. I loved it.
Ann Hammond - May 18, 2007 - Report this comment
well written
Phil Alexander - May 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Impressive, Rick - had to google the OS..(er OD?) as it's not something I'm familiar with, other than by name.
Kristof Robertson - May 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Totally original idea, Rick...and the wordplay here was amazing. I feel like cracking open a can right now,....555
Rick D - May 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Wow, Thanks all. I just ran it through my pun filter as I tried to push the parameters here. I thought I'd get slammed for it.
Matthias - May 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Abraham Lincoln would be rivited! But I loved it!!! (A speech for the common college student)

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