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Song Parodies -> "Snot"

Original Song Title:

"Kiss"

Original Performer:

Tom Jones (covering Prince)

Parody Song Title:

"Snot"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

Some people need nose drops when they get the flu. Not me, I'd rather wish I could cork it. It's like I'm turning into a human slime fountain, going through a weeks supply of handkerchiefs in just minutes. Sometimes I actually lose more than my entire body weight per day until it's over, even when I deliberately dehydrate myself, believe it or not. It has been suggested that I should be brought to the Gobi Desert to fertilize it and I wish I could say it was science fiction but it's like my sinuses are turning into the receiving station for a waste disposal teleporter in the phlegm dimension. Woe is me!
It don't help if I dehydrate
to turn it off
I still spray at sprinkler rate an'
I sneeze and cough
I don't need a nasal cleanse
to chunk my stuff
Adjust leeves and tidal fence
'cos now my sinus' going buff

CHORUS:
It don't help to be rich
or stomp and pout
It don't help to be cool
when flu breaks out
As slime particles they pour
I'm not com-fortable, NOT
I don't want these raspy cords
and all... SNOT!

You gotta not walk hasty baby
if you wanna assist me
It can be too slippy mama
I swamp like Gu-am you see
Did I miss my carotenes?
Or maybe vitamin C?
Adjust, breathe, this sinus-tchoo-nami's
a wiccan, havoc, salt sea

CHORUS:
It don't help to pray, Nietzs-
che said God's dead
It don't help if it's Yule
when nose goes red
As my apartment is drenched
and I am sneezing A LOT
I sure am no ubermensch
I'm just... SNOT!

Think I'll need to sleep soon...

Sinus slime hurls soak my bed
I'd say they make me red
Watch your shoes mama
Not your shoe size, maybe you should go (she fled)
You don't have to be on the sea
to lose your latitude
I oughta know, I'm all fluid, see
my nose and me's in feud

CHORUS:
It don't help to just bitch
when woe is me
It don't help to stuff wool
my spring breaks free
From influenza unwell
but there's an upside (SAY WHAT?)
I could flood the fires of Hell
with my... SNOT!
© Peter Andersson. (It has also been suggested that I, just like "every male on the face of the Earth", has a tendency to greatly exaggerate my complaints when I have a fever. That kind of remarks are, of course, always met with the forgiving kind of silent stoicism that such innocent ignorance deserves).

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 20

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2
 2
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   1
 2
 2
 
 5   16
 15
 15
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Stuart McArthur - January 07, 2005 - Report this comment
oh, that's excellent K1 - I can't believe I'm the first one here - very tight pacing - I can hear the song clearly because of it, and the little instrumental breaks (I'm tempted to vote 5s twice to offset the ones dickhead - in fact if everyone did that, he would immediately turn into 3s dickhead, at least - not a bad idea)
Know 1 can hear you dream - January 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Stuart: Thanx. I'm really surprised that this one was hit with 1s, if there has ever been a parody of mine so exaggerated that noone, and I mean noone, should be able to take the statements in it serious, it has got to be this one.
Phil Alexander - January 09, 2005 - Report this comment
I'm not sure that taking things seriously has anything to do with it, Peter - reckon there are people (well, one anyway) out there who'll just see "snot" and vote 1s without actually reading. Snot funny.
Michael Pacholek - January 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Another cum laude graduate of the Nasal Academy!
Know 1 can hear you dream - February 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Those questionmarks that you see above in the lyrics was originally three small dots to indicate half a second break or a streatched syllable.
Guy - February 05, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Funny parody but what SNOT funny is your condition. Hope you are feeling better by now.
Scathe - February 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I got a bad cold before I had to do an oral presentation for school. Thanks for the therafluic--I mean theraputic laughs.
Agrimorfee - February 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) There is mucus amonc us.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - February 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) 'Tchoo-nami'. Ha! Boy, K1CHYD, when you get a bunch of puns in order, you just spew-t'em out!
Adagio - February 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) DKTOS, but it was funny! I especially liked the top comment. :D
Claude Prez - February 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Whoa, this is even more disgusting than Johnny's entry. Clever, though. Say, in Sweden do they have TV commercials for cold medicine where the husband is always portrayed as some big dopey baby? I hate that crap. I'm an AVERAGE-SIZED dopey baby, dammit. Anyway, yeah, some great matches to the original; very well done.
Know 1 can hear you dream - February 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks folks. Jake: Glad you cought that pun, I wasn¬'t really sure how to spell it to make it work. Claude: Yes, we have that type of stereotype commercials, I guess they¬'re sorta universal.
Adam Eccleshall - February 12, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Funny take on an unpleasant condition :-)
Kristof Robertson - February 18, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Ewwwww! :-) 555
John Jenkins - February 19, 2005 - Report this comment
There really isn't an upside, K1, because I don't someone who writes clever parodies like this will go to Hell.
Spaff.com - February 20, 2005 - Report this comment
It would be funny to have a video of Tom Jones or Prince singing this while splattering mucus everywhere. I'm not saying I would ever agree to watch such a thing, but still....
Nice job, k1chy sneeze. Fave line: "Watch your shoes, mama."
Johnny D - February 21, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) What Spaff said.
Ash - February 23, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) hahaha nice job
Stuart McArthur - February 26, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM - already commented - and still impressive stuff K1 - and believe me, I'm no ubermensch - I don't think - hmm, maybe i am...
Tim Mayfield - February 26, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Snotty, beam him some 5's
MysteryGoat - February 27, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) VKTOS (vaguely know the original song)
Jeff Reuben - February 27, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM--This song blows =) Well done!
Arwen - February 27, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM--this is VERY nice, K1...but speak for yourself on the whole..."It don't help to...stomp and pout" bit. That's my signature move you're talking about...; )
2nz - February 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Good rhymin' schemin', K1. Fav bit: "It can be too slippy mama, I swamp like Gu-am you see"
Ethan - February 28, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM - DKTOS and all the snot puns are taken already. but i did vote.

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