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Song Parodies -> "Snot"
Original Song Title:
"Kiss"
Original Performer:
Tom Jones (covering Prince)
Parody Song Title:
"Snot"
Parody Written by:
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd
The Lyrics
Some people need nose drops when they get the flu. Not me, I'd rather wish I could cork it. It's like I'm turning into a human slime fountain, going through a weeks supply of handkerchiefs in just minutes. Sometimes I actually lose more than my entire body weight per day until it's over, even when I deliberately dehydrate myself, believe it or not. It has been suggested that I should be brought to the Gobi Desert to fertilize it and I wish I could say it was science fiction but it's like my sinuses are turning into the receiving station for a waste disposal teleporter in the phlegm dimension. Woe is me!
It don't help if I dehydrate
to turn it off
I still spray at sprinkler rate an'
I sneeze and cough
I don't need a nasal cleanse
to chunk my stuff
Adjust leeves and tidal fence
'cos now my sinus' going buff
CHORUS:
It don't help to be rich
or stomp and pout
It don't help to be cool
when flu breaks out
As slime particles they pour
I'm not com-fortable, NOT
I don't want these raspy cords
and all... SNOT!
You gotta not walk hasty baby
if you wanna assist me
It can be too slippy mama
I swamp like Gu-am you see
Did I miss my carotenes?
Or maybe vitamin C?
Adjust, breathe, this sinus-tchoo-nami's
a wiccan, havoc, salt sea
CHORUS:
It don't help to pray, Nietzs-
che said God's dead
It don't help if it's Yule
when nose goes red
As my apartment is drenched
and I am sneezing A LOT
I sure am no ubermensch
I'm just... SNOT!
Think I'll need to sleep soon...
Sinus slime hurls soak my bed
I'd say they make me red
Watch your shoes mama
Not your shoe size, maybe you should go (she fled)
You don't have to be on the sea
to lose your latitude
I oughta know, I'm all fluid, see
my nose and me's in feud
CHORUS:
It don't help to just bitch
when woe is me
It don't help to stuff wool
my spring breaks free
From influenza unwell
but there's an upside (SAY WHAT?)
I could flood the fires of Hell
with my... SNOT!
to turn it off
I still spray at sprinkler rate an'
I sneeze and cough
I don't need a nasal cleanse
to chunk my stuff
Adjust leeves and tidal fence
'cos now my sinus' going buff
CHORUS:
It don't help to be rich
or stomp and pout
It don't help to be cool
when flu breaks out
As slime particles they pour
I'm not com-fortable, NOT
I don't want these raspy cords
and all... SNOT!
You gotta not walk hasty baby
if you wanna assist me
It can be too slippy mama
I swamp like Gu-am you see
Did I miss my carotenes?
Or maybe vitamin C?
Adjust, breathe, this sinus-tchoo-nami's
a wiccan, havoc, salt sea
CHORUS:
It don't help to pray, Nietzs-
che said God's dead
It don't help if it's Yule
when nose goes red
As my apartment is drenched
and I am sneezing A LOT
I sure am no ubermensch
I'm just... SNOT!
Think I'll need to sleep soon...
Sinus slime hurls soak my bed
I'd say they make me red
Watch your shoes mama
Not your shoe size, maybe you should go (she fled)
You don't have to be on the sea
to lose your latitude
I oughta know, I'm all fluid, see
my nose and me's in feud
CHORUS:
It don't help to just bitch
when woe is me
It don't help to stuff wool
my spring breaks free
From influenza unwell
but there's an upside (SAY WHAT?)
I could flood the fires of Hell
with my... SNOT!
© Peter Andersson. (It has also been suggested that I, just like "every male on the face of the Earth", has a tendency to greatly exaggerate my complaints when I have a fever. That kind of remarks are, of course, always met with the forgiving kind of silent stoicism that such innocent ignorance deserves).
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 2 | 2 | 2 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 2 | 2 | ||||||||
| 5 | 16 | 15 | 15 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
oh, that's excellent K1 - I can't believe I'm the first one here - very tight pacing - I can hear the song clearly because of it, and the little instrumental breaks (I'm tempted to vote 5s twice to offset the ones dickhead - in fact if everyone did that, he would immediately turn into 3s dickhead, at least - not a bad idea)
Stuart: Thanx. I'm really surprised that this one was hit with 1s, if there has ever been a parody of mine so exaggerated that noone, and I mean noone, should be able to take the statements in it serious, it has got to be this one.
I'm not sure that taking things seriously has anything to do with it, Peter - reckon there are people (well, one anyway) out there who'll just see "snot" and vote 1s without actually reading. Snot funny.
Another cum laude graduate of the Nasal Academy!
Those questionmarks that you see above in the lyrics was originally three small dots to indicate half a second break or a streatched syllable.
(SOTM) Funny parody but what SNOT funny is your condition. Hope you are feeling better by now.
(SOTM) I got a bad cold before I had to do an oral presentation for school. Thanks for the therafluic--I mean theraputic laughs.
(SOTM) There is mucus amonc us.
(SOTM) 'Tchoo-nami'. Ha! Boy, K1CHYD, when you get a bunch of puns in order, you just spew-t'em out!
(SOTM) DKTOS, but it was funny! I especially liked the top comment. :D
Whoa, this is even more disgusting than Johnny's entry. Clever, though. Say, in Sweden do they have TV commercials for cold medicine where the husband is always portrayed as some big dopey baby? I hate that crap. I'm an AVERAGE-SIZED dopey baby, dammit. Anyway, yeah, some great matches to the original; very well done.
Thanks folks. Jake: Glad you cought that pun, I wasnÂ't really sure how to spell it to make it work. Claude: Yes, we have that type of stereotype commercials, I guess theyÂ're sorta universal.
(SOTM) Funny take on an unpleasant condition :-)
(SOTM) Ewwwww! :-) 555
There really isn't an upside, K1, because I don't someone who writes clever parodies like this will go to Hell.
It would be funny to have a video of Tom Jones or Prince singing this while splattering mucus everywhere. I'm not saying I would ever agree to watch such a thing, but still....
Nice job, k1chy sneeze. Fave line: "Watch your shoes, mama."
Nice job, k1chy sneeze. Fave line: "Watch your shoes, mama."
(SOTM) What Spaff said.
(SOTM) hahaha nice job
SOTM - already commented - and still impressive stuff K1 - and believe me, I'm no ubermensch - I don't think - hmm, maybe i am...
(SOTM) Snotty, beam him some 5's
(SOTM) VKTOS (vaguely know the original song)
SOTM--This song blows =) Well done!
SOTM--this is VERY nice, K1...but speak for yourself on the whole..."It don't help to...stomp and pout" bit. That's my signature move you're talking about...; )
Good rhymin' schemin', K1. Fav bit: "It can be too slippy mama, I swamp like Gu-am you see"
SOTM - DKTOS and all the snot puns are taken already. but i did vote.
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