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Song Parodies -> "We Don't Wannabe Together"

Original Song Title:

"Wannabe"

Original Performer:

The Spice Girls

Parody Song Title:

"We Don't Wannabe Together"

Parody Written by:

Wendy Christopher

The Lyrics

Ah... if I'd only written this sooner, it would've been just in time for the start of their world tour..... oh well.....
Yo, I’m the biggest star, yes I really am a star
(No, I’M the biggest star, who the hell d’you think you are?)
I really AM the star, really really I’m the star
(I’ll tell you what you are, and it really aint a star)
You are a… (Huh! Well you’re a…) Huh! You’re such a… (Huh! You little…) Huh!
Oh look I see the paparazzi… lovey lovey, kiss – aaah!

Wanna raise your profile, when it’s hit the skids?
Stage a great big comeback tour for the ‘Nineties kids!
Rubbed Tiger Balm on our aching joints
Did that Tesco advert for the Clubcard points!

It isn’t hard to see that you’re not as thin as me
(I beg to disagree, ‘cause you aint as thin as me)
You make me sick! (Well you’re a stick!) And you’re an anorex-e-ic!
I think I see the paparazzi… lovey lovey, kiss – aaah!

We don’t wannabe together, it’s all a big stupid act
But we’re broke and desperate, that’s a simple fact
If you wanna see us up there, trying to act our age
We’ll be friends forever but just don’t look backstage!

So do you think they bought that? What a big load of trash!
But I’ll pretend I like you for lots of cash
It worked for Take That – did you see their ‘Shine’?
Used to look like rent boys but now they look fine!

I really really rule, ‘cause I’m really really cool
(You’re dressing like a fool, and that really ISN’T cool!)
You are a WAG! (Well you’re a slag!) You little hag! (You sad old bag!)
Oh, now they want an interview… oh lovey lovey, kiss – aaah!

We don’t wannnabe together, we all hate each others’ guts
But we need the money, no ands, ifs or buts
Wanna get them over, done with, all these stupid tours
Need to pay our rents and they’re WAY bigger than yours!

So here’s a mini ‘where are we now?’
Hey Vicky, take a bow, because you’re still a moody cow
(Now Mel C’s looking fair, whatever happened there?)
Em and me – I’m Mel B – we got a baby
(Halliwell’s still as mad as hell, as you all can tell)
So hear my voice Take That boys!
Howard does the job but Gary’s still a blob
Howard does the job but Gary’s still a blob!

We don’t wannabe together, we’d rather be somewhere else
But we’re close to past it and nostalgia sells
We just wanna make some money, ‘fore we disappear
Then we promise we’ll give up our solo careers!

We don’t wannabe together, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna
You wanna Take, That, and, Shine!
Howard does the job but Gary’s still a blob
Marky does the job but Gary, you’re a blob
Jason does the job but Gaz, you’re still a blob
Gary you’re a blob, but… lovey, kiss – aaah!

We don’t wannabe together!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 3   0
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 5   7
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Phil Alexander - December 04, 2007 - Report this comment
This is lyrically so much better than the OS - not that that would be exactly hard, but this is in a different league. I could almost hear them "singing" it, too :-)
Invisible Boy - December 04, 2007 - Report this comment
I just saw a clip of the "reunion tour" on TV last night...It doesn't look like they "wannabe together". Nice Idea.
Jack Wilson - December 04, 2007 - Report this comment
Ive known a few British people in my 18 years ( almost all my nannies were British,and of course the parodsits on here), but Ive never heard "slag", LOL sounds funny though,this was awesome,5s
Agrimorfee - December 04, 2007 - Report this comment
Wish there were more about the Spicers than the other less familiar factory bands, but this was very good.
Wendy Christopher - December 04, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks for the comments everyone - I wasn't sure about this one at first, but it seems to have gone down okay :^)
Jack: 'Slag' is the British equivalent of 'ho' :^)
Agrimorfee: the 'other less familiar factory bands'? Hahahahaha! Oh, bless you, you just made my day!! I guess Take That went down a HUUUUGE storm outside the UK then!
stuart mcarthur - December 04, 2007 - Report this comment
wow, wonderful parody, Wendy, and an inspired idea - I'll watch out for your stuff - 555
MrMacphisto - December 04, 2007 - Report this comment
Good job... 5-5-5
Kristof Robertson - December 05, 2007 - Report this comment
As I live in the UK, I probably get the references more than most (except Phil); the Tesco ads, Take That, WAGs....very, very good, Wendy!! 555+
Wendy Christopher - December 05, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks Kristof - oh, and huge thanks, by the way, for all the Positive PR you've been giving me! :^)) From a respected pro such as yourself I feel honoured.
Red Ant - December 06, 2007 - Report this comment
I echo what Phil and Stu wrote. 555.
Mads - January 11, 2008 - Report this comment
VERY funny
I Really Really Want Rock'n'Roll - September 05, 2011 - Report this comment
I also echo what Phil and Agrimorfee said. When the Spicers invaded the U.S. I read an article about them in "Rolling Stone" magazine. They were in their 20s (like me) but their mentality and maturity was that of 10-year-olds. Girl Power? LOFL. At least when Milli Vanilli got caught lip-synching the songs were good - even if the wrong people got the credit.

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