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Song Parodies -> "Jack's Morning"

Original Song Title:

"Tom's Diner"

Original Performer:

Suzanne Vega

Parody Song Title:

"Jack's Morning"

Parody Written by:

Red Ant

The Lyrics

DKTOS? Hear it on this website. This based on the DNA remix (the version most everyone knows), which was done in 1990.
[sound of alarm clock ringing set
in time to the 96 "duh duh"]

Well I get up
In the morning
And I grab my
Bedroom slippers -

- It's too early
I am drowsy
So I stumble
T'ward the doorway -

- And I make it
To the hallway
But before I
Can go further -

- I need to find
The light-switch so
I don't trip on
My poor cat!

[fumbling arounds sounds set
in time to the 32 "do-do" here]

With the lights out
It's less dang'rous
Here we are now
Entertain us -

- Wait a second
That's the wrong song
Found the light-switch
Now it's brighter -

- And then much to my dismay
The lightbulb flickers then it blows
(and) Next I step down
In the darkness
Hear a *crunch*
It is the cat!

[pitiful meowing sounds set
in time to the 32 "do-do" here]

I open up
The doorway
To the bathroom
There's the toilet -

- And I notice
That the seat's down
That's because I
Live with women -

- And I'm feeling something urgent, though
The TP's almost empty
And I'm sensing someone's watching me
And so I hold it in

[weird stomach sounds set
in time to the 32 "do-do" here]

Well I'm hearing
No one outside
So I sit down
Do my business

One small problem
Seems that TP
Was a *wee* bit
Insufficient -

- And I hate it when this happens
(I'll) quickly shower before work
There I'll go on spoofing "Tom's Diner"
A song that doesn't rhyme!*

do do do do do do do do
do do do do do do do do
do do do do do do do do
do do do do do do do do

No - hot - water
Now I'm freezing
And this morning's
Turned out sucky
I am NOT an early riser!...

I AM going back to bed!

[snoring fade out in place of "do-do"]
copyright 2006+ Jack "Red Ant" Fletcher *I have nothing against songs that don't rhyme, just pointing out the obvious.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 24

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   24

User Comments

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Tommy Turtle - April 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Not an early riser myself; empathize fully... As usual, DK, but don't need the midi - good one, Red Ant. 5am x3 = 15(00), a much better time to rise.
AFW - April 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Easy to relate job..
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - April 10, 2006 - Report this comment
My guess is that all those do-dos where an early white attempt to rap, hence it could only get better from thereon. :-)
Dee Range - April 10, 2006 - Report this comment
I remember reading somewhere that this was the diner where she wrote her songs.After 'Luca', she should have switched diners. This is a better rendition of Tom's had a purpose. Well done, Jack.555
Stuart McArthur - April 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Red - I only remembered this OS after downloading it (that was some interesting site!) and remembered how irritated it used to make me, with all that self-indulgent "der-der-der-der" time-wasting - perfect send-up of it - 555
Rick C - April 10, 2006 - Report this comment
I loved where you slipped into "Smells Like Teen Spirit" :-) 555
Matthias - April 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Well this summed up the song in all of it's boringness... This song however boring, and quite dull... Is freaking amazing!!!
Joel Martinez - April 10, 2006 - Report this comment
His poor poor cat, lol 555
YAD - April 11, 2006 - Report this comment
I quite like TOS, it was a hit when I was still small enough to walk under tables! Great how you've integrated Nirvana into it, but please check if the cat is okay. :-) 5: 55
Johnny D - April 11, 2006 - Report this comment
Great parody of Snooze-anne Vague-uhh..... ;-)
Larry Hensley - April 11, 2006 - Report this comment
Cool parody
Stephen Harrington - April 11, 2006 - Report this comment
555, especially loved the accidental lyrics from "Teen Spirit", I didn't know you could time them to this song(I don't own Vega's CDs, but I've heard this song plenty of times).
Adagio - April 11, 2006 - Report this comment
Red Ant - April 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks TT, AFW, Peter, Dee, Stu, Rick C, Matthias, YAD, Johnny D, Larry, Step-chan and Pat.

TT: Actually, it isn't a MIDI, but (I believe) a .rm or .ram file, which has the words too. 3pm is the time I usually get up these days.

Peter: This song was more of a dance mix than a rap attempt.

Dee: Yes, it was, and yes, it did.

Stu: Yeah, good thing there were a few words in English. As for time wasting, Wikipedia has a movie file of this song being performed live without the 'do-do' parts. Suzanne just stands there silent, and it was about the most awkward thing I've ever seen. It is pretty obvious why this song wasn't a hit until the remix.

Rick C: Thanks for noticing that. I tried to fit in a few lines from "The Sound of Silence" as well, but it didn't work out.

Matthias: With sincerest apologies to Arwen, I agree with you completely.

YAD and Joel: The cat is fine. Usually I shuffle into him rather than step down on him anyway.

Johnny D: LOL!

Step-chan: Nothing accidental there. Matter of fact, several Nirvana songs would scan onto this song with no modifications.
Arwen - April 12, 2006 - Report this comment
I'm confused as to why you're apologizing to me...?
Stephen Harrington - April 12, 2006 - Report this comment
From you being groggy, I meant(I know it was intentionally wrote). ; )
Dr Music - August 08, 2008 - Report this comment
Good song Red. Also thank you for telling us what your actual name is. I just love the name Jack....there are so many men with that first name- my favourites include Nicholson, Black, Benny, Skelington, Sparrow, Frost,and Lemmon. Our favourite Batman villain is The Joker who's real name is Jack Napier.
Silver Power - June 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Although I DKTOS, I thoroughly enjoyed this parody, it's probably one of the better parodies that I've read that doesn't rhyme, and it's so well written, it really doesn't have to. 555.
Andria - June 15, 2009 - Report this comment
I love this parody, and I can relate in many ways, considering that I am not a morning person and generally do these things in this order before returning to bed: Take pills, check e-mail, AmIRight, Craigslist and assorted forums, and turn on some relaxing music. After that, let's just say that Andria is out of commission until at least noon on most days. Great job here, and 5s.
Mark Scotti - June 29, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) I'm sure he's seen better days, but none funnier...
Guy - July 04, 2009 - Report this comment

Jack - you Do-doed this quite nicely. Lots of short lines in the OS - you did a great job covering this aspect. What happened to the kitty was catastrophic - hope kitty is ok. And I think we can all relate to having mornings like this that always seem to go downhill throughout the entire day. Good work here.
Agrimorfee - July 08, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) A fun slice o' life, as opposed to a tedious slice o' life. Cobain's ghost must have possessed you in the middle there, i guess. :)
bobpiecheese - July 09, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC5) Great parody here, Ant - kind of a pity that the only part of the OS I know is the seventeen-umpty-billion 'do's'. 555 anyway.
Fiddlegirl - July 09, 2009 - Report this comment
When I saw the song of Red Ant's written there on my computer, I thought I would laugh my butt off until tears ran down my face... 555!
Leo Keough - July 09, 2009 - Report this comment
ABC5(J/K) This song made the morning ritual sound like and adventure! The words flowed nicely with the OS, and the OS music was very well suited to the parody lyrics...555!!!
Matthias - July 09, 2009 - Report this comment
See above... I loved the inclusion of "Smells Like Team Spirit" because this song is like the polar opposite of that song, because this song is slow and soft rock while that song is fast and grunge!
Below Average Dave - July 09, 2009 - Report this comment
That was funny, liked the "Hear we are now entertain us" reference. . .

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