Come to, aw, dude, this blows

I thought pillories
Were history
Guess someone loves history
And made pillories
I hate it, it's so outdated
Well, I know what you think, see
And you're right as can be
Don't know how, just set me free

Get me out of this pillory
My neck's been infused with a huge strain, you see
And the splinters make me bleed
Hate this pillory

Don't know how this happened, see
I hate pillories
I'd evade them, sure
Not play history
I hate it, it's so outdated
I hate it, it's not my fav'rite
Well, I don't drink or smoke weed
But my brain's a blank disk
Don't know how I entered these

Get me out of this pillory
My back's got a bad crick from this angle, geez
Cause by design, it's bad for me
Hate this pillory

Will tomatoes fly at me?
Want sympathy
And not plain apathy
Unlock me

I hate it, it's so outdated
I hate it, it's not my fav'rite
I hate it, it's so outdated (get me out of this pillory)
I hate it, it's not my fav'rite (I've heard that they're also called stocks, but, dude, please)
I hate it, it's so outdated (I had a day of plans, you see) (this is not what I need)
I hate it, it's not my fav'rite (get me out of this pillory) (such an ache in my wrists)
I hate it, it's so outdated (hate this pillory) (boy, do I need to pee)
I hate it, it's not my fav'rite