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Song Parodies -> "You've Got Hogwarts"

Original Song Title:

"All Star"

Original Performer:

Smash Mouth

Parody Song Title:

"You've Got Hogwarts"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

July 2007 is like the most awesomest month ever: a new Harry Potter movie AND a new Harry Potter book within days of each other. Go ahead - wet those pants. And remember: nothing accompanies the warm feeling like a Robert Lund recording (available at The FuMP).
Somebody once told me
His school would not enroll me
I wished I'd stuck with Muggles instead
'Cause I'm freaked by the occult
And I swear a lightning bolt
Was the shape of the scar on his forehead

The books keep coming and the films keep coming
And you thought Star Wars was a little mind-numbing
Must the whole world be an H.P. fan?
It's a Sirius pain in the Azkaban
So much to read! So much to knock!
Is this virus called Norwalk or Warlock?
So try every spell you've been shown
I'd rather be Sorcerer's Stoned

Hey now
You've got Hogwarts
You got floo dust - on me
Hey now
You've got Wormtail
And your friends are - Weasley
Ride that broom till you're sore
'Cause you put the dumb in Dumbledore

You've got house elves with attention disorders
And a one-track mind that's nine and three quarters
Hey, your mentor just might be a centaur
And if you've gone mad, blame Dr. Dementor
That Whomping tree's got really mean wood
For some good love call Luna Lovegood
My goblet's on fire! My butt feels worse!
Sitting through this stuff's an Unforgivable Curse

Hey now
You've got Hogwarts
And your Crookshanks - bit me
Hey now
You've got Mudblood
You've got Yule balls - yearly
My name's not Merv Gryffindor!
Eat Cornelius Fudge...

I met a male fairy
Who said, Hello, I'm Harry
I guess he'd never heard about Nair
I said, Witch!
Gimme that snitch!
You little son of a Quidditch!
And your dog's got an extra pair

Of heads!
The wolves keep howling and the owls keep owling
There's a vault full of gold here for J.K. Rowling
Tom Riddle me this: Would a snake prefer
A bird named Fawkes or a fox named Fleur?
So Peter's a rat? Hermione's a cat?
And when it's Snape's shift will he shape shift?
And is it Cho Chang or Chang Cho?
I'll never last through the last show

Hey now
You've got Hogwarts
Tell your hat to - sort me
Hey now
You're a horcrux
And you're uni - corny
All your wands are too short
And you put the emo in Voldemort

Ride those brooms till you're sore
'Cause you put the dumb in Dumbledore

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 40

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 2   0
 3   1
 4   6
 5   30

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason. - June 28, 2007 - Report this comment
This was submitted once before but apparently vanished into thin air during Chucky's server move. For those who commented the first time: Thank you and I'm sorry I missed you.
alvin - June 28, 2007 - Report this comment
my fave of the day
Jack Wilson - June 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Loved it the first time, since then, Ive heard the recording,love it all! 5s Oh yeah and for other people, you might wanan buy the book at Wal-Mart /
Jonathan S. - June 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Never, EVER got into Harry Potter, never, EVER will! I'm afraid I didn't like this as much as much as most of your other works. However, at least this one is better than "99 Words For Boobs"; all you did with "99WFB" was crank out a list of mysoginist synonyms and call it a "parody." Since I'm no H.P. fan: 533 (On the other hand, if the HP you were talking about was Hewlett Packard...just kidding!)
Matthias - June 28, 2007 - Report this comment
" and the Three Fives of Hilarity" coming soon to a book store near you. Wanna grab a Butter Beer at The Leaky Couldron?
Rex - June 28, 2007 - Report this comment
The only thing missing is "I'll Hufflepuff and blow your House down!" Just as good the second time around... 555.
Jeff Reuben - June 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Since I am a Harry Potter geek...5s, getting ready to listen to the recording. - June 28, 2007 - Report this comment
alvin: You deserve a medal for your consistent submissions and all of the thousands of comments you've left. You rule, man.

Jackie: Thanks for your unfailing support, and thanks for pimping Claude's "Wal-Mart," which I should have done myself. It's one of my favorite parodies ever.

Jonathan: From some of your other comments, I'm guessing you're one of those people who dislikes Harry Potter because his fictional magical powers don't come from Jesus. Amiright? And don't call me a misogynist or I'll smack you like a ho.

Matthias: You're on, man. I'll buy the shots of phoenix tears.

Rex: Ah, good ol' H.R. Hufflefpuff. I also missed the line about seeing Madame Maxime in Maxim.

Jeff: The geeks shall inherit the earth.
John Jenkins - June 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Very good wordplay, especially with the Fawkes/fox verse and the "Sirius pain in the Azkaban."
Jonathan S. - And so another tiff begins - June 30, 2007 - Report this comment
You'd be wrong on the religious point, Spaffster. It's the fact that that stuff is, in its own way, to do with the occult. Period. And, for the sake of the females who obviously found 99WFB offensive, I will stand firm on the chauvinist issue. I may be a guy, but not all guys like to treat women as sexual objects. - June 30, 2007 - Report this comment
John J: Thanks, man. Always good to hear from you.

Jonathan: Admit it: You'd be just as offended if I wrote "99 Words for Balls," but you wouldn't play the PC card claiming I treat men as sexual objects. What is chauvinistic is a guy who feels he has to speak up "for the sake of females." Also, you've proven my suspicions 100% correct as to why you dislike Harry Potter. Thanks for keeping the satirists in business.
McKludge - June 30, 2007 - Report this comment
Jonathan S, what makes you so sure women "obviously found 99WFB offensive"? I can think of four women friends/family off the top of my head who would think that 99WFB is hysterical.
Ad to comment on this one, which I should have done earlier, I also think this is hysterical. Not a fan of HP (though I love LotR, go figure), but I know enough to get the jokes. 555
Tynne - July 02, 2007 - Report this comment
Ha ha, that is great. Clever puns.
Peter Andersson - July 02, 2007 - Report this comment
Fantasy is like soo overrated, how much brain does it take to come up with "XXX and the store that sold mixed hybrids by the dozen" or something like that anyway. Not that I couldn't stand to take money from readers, but you know there's such a thing as self respect too. BTW: 5s! - July 03, 2007 - Report this comment
McKludge: Thank you from one boob to another.

John L: Not that there's anything wrong with cross-dressing. Or sheep.

Tynne: You made me grynne.

Peter: Watch it. "XXX and the store that sold mixed hybrids by the dozen" is my favorite book.
Jonathan S. - July 05, 2007 - Report this comment
Well, I'm obviously not going to get to first base with anyone here. However, as for Lovit: I DO NOT cross-dress or play with inflatable dolls, and I know for a fact that you couldn't have talked to any "friends" of mine. I realize I'm a bit of a parvenu, but you don't see me lying and making up nasty "secrets" about any of you guys, no matter how much I disagree.
Agrimorfee - July 06, 2007 - Report this comment
For those who were curious as I was: sez a parvenu is "a person who has recently or suddenly acquired wealth, importance, position, or the like, but has not yet developed the conventionally appropriate manners, dress, surroundings, etc." Yup. Took me a bit of time to get the connection, but yup. You are quite an interesting person, J.
Agrimorfee - July 06, 2007 - Report this comment
[sorry for the pointless comment, Spaff] An execellent overview of the series, Spaff!! You do so well because you take an extra step to make your parodies so special. 555
Agrimorfee - July 25, 2007 - Report this comment
Hey Hey, Spaff! Did you know that the Dr. Demento Show is recorded weeks in advance of actual airplay? Either way, well...we honestly all know what you can do. - July 25, 2007 - Report this comment
Aggro: You make me feel special. Thank you for your threesome of comments.

Jonathan: Yeah, this week it went from #1 to #3. I'm ashamed to show my face in public.
Here to let you know Aggro is full of it - July 26, 2007 - Report this comment
Bull. There's been at least four times I've requested a track, and it's gotten on that week's show; once in a while I have to wait for the following week's, but not often. So, I find it hard to believe, with those facts, that the show is recorded "SEVERAL" weeks in advance. - July 26, 2007 - Report this comment
NOTE: The Dr. Demento show is usually taped 17 days before the air date, so if you want your requests for a particular theme to be considered, try submitting them three weeks in advance!
T3h_M0nk3y - January 15, 2008 - Report this comment
Hello, Nothing. The whole world needs to hear your clarinet version of this song. Please immediately record it and post in on YouTube.

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