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Song Parodies -> "Chasin That Chub"

Original Song Title:

"Baby Got Back"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Sir Mix-A-Lot

Parody Song Title:

"Chasin That Chub"

Parody Written by:

2nz

The Lyrics

Oh, it is good to be large and in charge. But behind every great man, even a great-big one, there is a great woman...
[spoken]
Oh my word, Chet look at his gut. It is SO big.
It looks like Shamu just got beached, man.
Look man his belt's trying to escape, it's just barely hangin' on
WOAH, there's some real hot chick comin' down towards us.
She's all mine, I'm all up in wait, she's heading for Shamu.
What the HELL, man? Why's she heading for that tub of lard?
DAAAMNlook.
He's just so FAT.

[rap begins]
She likes big guts on a rounded guy,
you other brothers can't deny
That when a guy walks in with a great big bang and a gut with over-hang
That's well-HUNG
Wanna cozy up, to a man with a size D-cup

Ridin' that old spare tire
Loves guys with their own deep-fryers
OH big boy, she wants a big player,
with extra layer
Her girlfriends get disgusted,
but she likes a man w-w-w-who's girdle's busted

Ooh, takes up two rows,
you say you never seen all them toes?
Get clothes all-Big'n'Tall,
'cause she don't care 'bout cholest'rol

Don't keep it quiet,
to hell with that diet
You're male,
pale,
gettin' weighed out on a Richter Scale

Get tired of girls who say, that a fat man ain't in shape?
'Cause the only shape that can ask her out, it is a round'n'stout

So fellas (YEAH)
Fellas (YEAH)
Does your girlfriend like da gut? (Hell Yeah)
Tell 'er you love her, won't shove her, and let her be on top

Chasin' that chub'
(Needs two spots at a drive-in movie)

Chasin' that chub'
(Needs two spots at a drive-in movie)
(Needs two spots at a drive-in movie)

She likes 'em round and big,
she'll never call you a pig
She just can't help herself, she's actin' like a animal,
'round those love handles

Now goin' small ain't wise,
so Unngh, SUPER-SIZE, Unngh-Unngh
She ain't talking 'bout tum' tuck,
there's reason that Lipo- ends with –suck

She wants a man like a planet,
so big that it's just heinous
Makes a real big gain-fuss,
beggin' for a piece of Ur-anus

She was lookin' at magazine pics,
men like chop-sticks makin' her sick?
You can have them tooth-picks,
she wants a man who eats BOTH Twix

A word to the big-boned buds now,
she wants a big belly,
one that rolls like jelly
But I gotta be straight when I say she wanna (groan) with a guy not thin
Maybe with a double chin,
that his neck was swallowed in

'Cause some don't like the cushin' for pushin',
but she likes some hard-y lard
Someone large,
and in charge,
hit a Homer and she'll be your Marge

So honeys (Yeah)
Honeys (Yeah)
Do you want a guy weighed in ton-ies? (Yeah)
Then grab a man, with a bounce
Cause it is the size that counts

Chasin' that Chub'

Chasin' that Chub'

[spoken]
Yeah, fatty. When it comes to thin guys, they don't have nothin' to offer.
After the Armageddon, they won't have the fat layers to survive anyway.

[rap]
There are thin men actin' phony,
eatin' fruit but not Bologna
But only men who don't eat enough'a meat get lonely
Her man-aloni EATS ALL DAY and he's OK that WAY

He can't do side-bends or sit-ups,
but she still loves that gut
Some brothers wanna make you not like your(self),
and tell ya that the gut's bad health
But that girl there, they warned her,
And she pulled up quick to get warmer

So Cosmo says you're fat,
well she ain't down with that
'Cause you're not so fat,
you just look good thickened
yeah, beefed-up and Nesquikened

And those slim-Jims up in the magazines?
Have some candy, pansy
Doin' that lo-carb, that's for retards
You burn some fat when you eat hard

Those others just can't amount,
To your 'Always-Group' discount
You got jeans but you just can't fit 'em
And she's still OK if you split 'em

So if you are a girl out there
And you want a rounded man, not square
Dial 1-900-R-U-B-A-C-H-U-B
And leave off 'B' for bounce

Chasin' that Chub'

Chasin' that Chub'

(Belly made'a jelly and it's good like that)
(Belly made'a jelly and it's no Jack Sprat)
(Belly made'a jelly and it's good like that)
(Belly made'a jelly and it's good like that)
Copyright 2005+ 2nz
Hope you all enjoyed it. This one took many frustrating nights to complete. I think in my book this one garners the 'second highest occurance of induced writers' blocks for one parody' award.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   3
 0
 0
 
 5   14
 17
 17
 

User Comments

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Arwen - June 21, 2005 - Report this comment
LOL!! Way too many great lines to even choose...I kept picking new ones as I went through. Excellent job, Babe...all that hard work and sleepless nights paid off! (but just admit you were really losing sleep thinking about me...; )...hehehe)
2nz - June 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Arwen, you have got me. I could not disguise my true nature from you ;c). When are you gonna get out to the East Coast to end all my sleepless nights, anyway? I have keys to an apartment in the Village that's not mine... which means I didn't arrange or decorate it... which means it's arranged and decorated well.
Stuart McArthur - June 21, 2005 - Report this comment
great effort 2nz - I'm ashamed to say I DKTOS (and I suspect I should) but just by reading it the rap fell into a rhythm - and some witty lines eg. "yeah, beefed-up and Nesquikened" - 555
Arwen - June 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Well that is a relief...but you really should go ahead and claim that it's your own place. Because whenever I do get my sorry ass out there, it's only going to be to analyze your interior decorating skills. ; ) Oh, and to bake some Lembas...
Jeff Reuben - June 22, 2005 - Report this comment
This is brilliant, I'm really surprised you haven't gotten more votes/comments. Really, really good!
Kristof Robertson - June 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Loved this, lard-ash!! 555
2nz - June 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Alright, some fellow fat-ashes. Thanks Jeff and Kristof.
2nz - June 23, 2005 - Report this comment
AND Stu, and don't worry man. I was telling my parents about the OS and they just gave me an odd stare. It's not required music, unless you like big butts of course, and I wouldn't lie about something like that if I were you.
Red Ant - June 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Not sure how I missed this one 2nz. Fives. As for the bottom comment, I can definately relate to that, especially on parodies of this type.
Rich Kapalin - July 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Great job! Love all rap parodies!
Dumb Ass Kid - July 06, 2005 - Report this comment
[SOTM] Fantastic job on an original parody which would otherwise prove a challenge (certainly to me, anyways!) 555
Leo Jay Z - July 07, 2005 - Report this comment
[SOTM] Yo, dat's PHAT! Excellent rhymes and expressions (Nesquickened!). Hilarious, hilarious stuff. Just as silly as the original.
Peter Andersson - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Maybe the pacing belt could have been tighter in a few places but overall this one expanded throughout into very funny territory and with some very phat rhymes that noone should consider a waist of time to check out.
Red Ant - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Still like this a alot, especially 1-900-R-U-B-A-C-H-U-B.
Arwen - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM--you already know that I love this, 2nzy!
Agrimorfee - July 11, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Good rhymin' Simon! 555
Mike (Mike Armstrong) - July 13, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Lol, good idea on this one, can't help but chuckle even thinking of Sir Mix-a-Lot, good job
Dr. Bob - July 13, 2005 - Report this comment
She's all mine, I'm all up in… wait, she's heading for Shamu. funny. well-written. perhaps you can get sir mix-a-lot to sing this one.
Dee Range - July 18, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I'm with Stu, DNKOS but this is very funny. Great lines everywhere.
Charlie Decker - July 19, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Very nice work on a difficult song. Too many fantastic lines to mention. Once of my favorites of yours yet!
Jeff Reuben - July 22, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Well done...see above! Still love it.
Rick C - July 25, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Phat!
Stuart McArthur - July 26, 2005 - Report this comment
(sotm) already commented 2nz, and still DKTOS, but this had great texture
Spaff.com - July 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Fun fun fun stuff, Looney 2nz, and even better when read along with the original. (You should check it out, s2art.) More kudos on "Nesquikened." And "lipo ends with suck" and "two spots at a DRIVE-IN movie" - heh heh. Oh, and you get bonus points for mentioning Uranus. Sweet.
Johnny D - July 28, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Very sage "positional counsel" !!
Tim Mayfield - July 28, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Love the "gettin' weighed out on a Richter Scale" line. 5's
Phil Alexander - July 29, 2005 - Report this comment
"Then grab a man, with a bounce
Cause it is the size that counts"
...and hey, this is a big one... what with ol' Paul Revere, too, this month's is taking a long time to get through..
Kristof Robertson - July 31, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I's say this was PHAT, but that would be SO cliched....;-)
Mikey Squirrel - July 31, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM.. Well done 2nz! I've always been a chub chaser myself, and I always said to people 'more cushion for the pushin'. Thanks for using that. 555
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Freakin' hilarious, 2nz, line after line of XXXL-laughs. Coincidentally, I recently submitted 'An Obese-Man's Gut Is Lots Of Flabby Fun: http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/gilbertsullivan22.shtml
Yours is much much funnier, though. 555
Adagio - February 25, 2007 - Report this comment
WAY late on this, 2nz (Glen), but I really enjoyed it more watching you perform....I liked your Woooo...she's headed for Shamu! LOLOLOL 5's

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