Bring over a few old Rod Stewart records
Put them in a pile already drenched with gasoline
Light a match and listen to them burn until
Soft rock stations can't play them again

Watch an old rocker try to hang on
He should worry about his grandkids not his lost youth
During a bad midlife crisis he shouldn't take chances
Every picture tells a story, don't it?

He looks old like Maggie May
Wrinkles over his face
We should all tell Rod Stewart
He was not sexy in the first place

Bring over a few old Rod Stewart records
Put them in a pile already drenched with gasoline
Light a match and listen to them burn until
Soft rock stations can't play them again

Mounting grandpa
We all know he's just dreaming
Has nothing left to prove
Because he lost his youth
Rod is living an illusion
Meanwhile his bowels are where he will make his next move

Rod Stewart singing standards
It's more than I can bear
Rod Stewart singing standards
It sounds so bad no one will care

Please, Rod
Your voice at this point
sounds worse than a hoarse Lauren Bacall
It's rasping down the hall
So when we watch that bad comeercial
pitching your standards disc
I know what we're hearing sounds so wrong

Bring over a few old Rod Stewart records
Put them in a pile already drenched with gasoline
Light a match and listen to them burn until
Soft rock stations can't play them again

Bring over a few old Rod Stewart records
Put them in a pile already drenched with gasoline
Light a match and listen to them burn until
Soft rock stations can't play them again

'Britt Eklund and Rachel Hunter sing'

Bring over a few old Rod Stewart records
Put them in a pile already drenched with gasoline
Light a match and listen to them burn until
Soft rock stations can't play them again