Social guys from china like to have their conversations
And little girls in Sweden hand out party invitations
But he can't do these kind of things
With mental retardation
(Guitar for awhile)

It's a
Pledge to the girl
That she will never be forsaken
A son is born in the far Far East
And hated by his nation
It's not his fault
That he's no smarter than salt
He has mental retardation

(Oooooo-ooo-oooooo) (x2)
Spends his very lonely days
Cared for by institutions
Bites off his friggin finger
Causing prolonged irritation
Dropped him on a cold
Hot-cold side road

-Chorus-
He has mental retardation
He has mental retardation

Help me all the while
Give me a baby named Kyle
And we will leave him in isolation
A mean ass bride
Keeps her baby inside
And feeds him insulation
But you would too
If you also knew
That he had mental retardation
(Chorus)

Environmentalists always shed a tear
When they find kids in the basement
And you may wonder why he's queer
It's got you in amazement
But Momma's hand ain't far way
Cause he has mental retardation

(Chorus, then Guitar Solo)

Aunt Helga thinks he looks like a toad
"Might be because he's Asian"
"If he runs away, won't get real far
And he'll trample the carnations."
"And by the way, I found out today
He has mental retardation."
(Chorus 1 last time)