When I was at the store,
I was looking for a buy,
Icing's expensive,
I got whipped cream and dye.

I'm light like a feather,
And my cupboards are bare,
This is so pricey,
It's so f***ing pricey.

But I'm so cheap,
I'm a miser,
A dime for some ketchup here,
But I got some last year.

I don't care when it hurts,
When I eat the bowl,
I got it from Tim Hortons,
When I was eight years old.

I often don't notice,
When my milk goes brown,
It's so f***ing pricey,
This is way too pricey.

But I'm so cheap,
I'm a miser,
A dime for some bagels here,
Expired last year.

Cheese running out again,
Cheese running out,
Cheese run run run running out,

Whatever makes me happy,
Whatever I want,
Is too f***ing pricey,
Why is it so pricey?

But I'm so cheap,
I'm a miser,
A quarter for a keg of beer,
Never come back here.
Paid too much for beer.