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Song Parodies -> "Something to Invest In"

Original Song Title:

"Something to Believe In"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Something to Invest In"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

I came up with this idea years ago when "Black Tuesday" happened. I couldn't find my original parody, so I decided to rewrite it and add some recent historical information. I hope it follows the original closely on pacing, etc.
Well I see him on the TV
Preachin' 'bout oil in the sands
He tells me to believe in portfolios
And steals the money from my hand
Some say he was a broker
But Lord I think he sinned, yeah
Twenty-two years of mental tears
Cries a suicidal Wall Street vet
He bought crude oil from a foreign shore
To find his investors didn't want it back
The bear market took his best friend's savings
Our lawyers took his life savings and 401K, no regrets
In a deal I don't remember
In a trade he can't forget
He cried "Forgive me for what I traded there
Cause I never owned the stocks I lost;"
And give me something to invest in
If there's a diversified portfolio
And give me something to invest in
Oh, market arise
My broker died a lonely man
In some Manhattan condo
I lost all my stocks on Christmas Eve
And they emailed me the news
I tried all night not to break down and buy
As the money poured out of my account
I felt so broke and empty
Like day trader out of place
And the ticker, ticker on the wall
Shows my account in the red again
Sometimes I wish the stocks I don't own now
Are the ones I did own then
Bank, we gotta sell my home
I drive by my homies working on Wall Street
Like cronies making a welfare state
Underneath the broken old neon sign
That used to read 401K
A mile away live the Enron folks
And I see how they're shreddin' their paperwork up
While the investors they scrounge for hand-outs
The executives are trading on the up and up
And it just makes me wonder
Why so many sell, so few buy
You take the commodities
And I'll take the technologies
Sometimes I wish the stocks I don't own now
Are the ones I did own then
And give me something to invest in; yeah, yeah

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   1

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