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Song Parodies -> "(Kids Are Always) Really Boring"

Original Song Title:

"Being Boring"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Pet Shop Boys

Parody Song Title:

"(Kids Are Always) Really Boring"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

Helen Kirwan-Taylor, I love you! Let's get married and have some really, really boring kids! (To find out what this is about just google the name "Helen Kirwan-Taylor" and the headline "Sorry, but my children bore me to death!")
I cannot stand a mash of potatoes
Or invitations to kiddy parties
Kids are trite, as are their orations
So said this wife, an English writer
Helen Kirwan-Taylor
When they're young, the next generation
Are not so fun, more of a yawn
At best they are a dozing chore
She said: Kids are always just a bore

Cos kids are always really boring
They take too much time I want for myself
And kids are cute just when they're snoring
When they're up they fight!
For what? Odds and ends!
And I won't that way crack my back
Give up slack
To a stroller attend

When I read I saw the causation
For a havocked life I've no desperation
People say: If you don't marry
You don't get no heirs and lonely is scary
When you're ninety-something
But sleeping in has made me straightforward
To snooze at will's its own award
And kids aren't worth a steady score
I can never tie myself to a broad

Cos kids are always really boring
They claim too much time I need for myself
And kids are cute just when they're snoring
When they're up they fight!
For what? Odds and ends!
And with porridge left as track
They're a pack
To a pen should be sent
And when I unpack my sack
I keep track
That it's always in rubber misspent

And I'll save a fortune on braces
Repairing rooms from juvenile traces
All the germs I'd get from kissing
I'll avoid, and carpet pissing
And those teeny parties
Never again will I read Brothers Grimm
Young screech an' hurl will always make me grim
Overwrought at home's not me
If the neighbours have just one I'll flee

Repeat Chorus
© Peter Andersson.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   1
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 5   2
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jason - August 04, 2006 - Report this comment
This is so cute! I do know the original song, its available on the PSB Albums "Behaviour" and "Discography". 555 for you.
Andrew - December 11, 2008 - Report this comment
As a new(ish) dad and a devoted PSB fan, and I just say "Where the hell was this advice 2 years and 9 months ago, Dammit!!!!?" Very funny, very true, very good fit for the song

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