Today
I went to have a shave
when I looked into the mirror, ewwww!
wolf-like
my face appeared - I
realized what I had to do
I don't believe that anybody's face has looked this lu-
pine before

I freaked
I wrapped me in a sheet
and I hurried to the shops downtown
I'm scared
that Paul who does my hair
will just look and pull his shutters down
I'm not in need of anybody more right now than you
so help me Paul

and all the folk I meet outside are ogling
and that's because my sheet has got a hole in
that's why I'm so desperate
to try to get to you
and I will somehow

because matey
you're gonna be the one that shaves me
coz after all
you're my barber Paul

Today
was gonna be the day
for my prepschool teaching interview
not fair!
I bumped into a werewolf
yesterday at the zoo
I didn't think that he would bite me just coz I said "you
so need a shower"

t'was over sensitive of him to bite me
t'was obvious the furball didn't like me
There are many places I'd
prefer to be bit in
than a freakin zoo

so matey
get out yer twin-Gilette and shave me
coz after all
you're my barber Paul

I said matey
you gotta defoliate me
start at my paws
every hair is yours

I said matey
it's gonna take a day to shave me

and then do Liam's eyebrows, maybe

(they've always been infuriating)