It's true that when I met you
They said you were a movie star
But I could see through the lie
I knew you for what you are
I don't believe that anybody knows what I know
About you now

You turned red with what I said
And stood with your mouth agape
Knock, knock had a bit of a shock
I thought you were gonna cry rape
I don't believe that anybody has said what I say
To you now

I said all the films I've seen you in were blue ones
But your tits look bigger now, could they be new ones?
I would get a groin strain doing what they do to you
Coz I don't know how

You said I'm wicked
A male chauvanist dickhead
I said now try this for size
Be my thunderthighs

I must confess that when you said yes
I was more than a bit surprised
When you said, hey baby come to bed
Well, I could not believe my eyes
I can believe you'd let anybody do whatI do
To you now

But your body it had Impulse spayed upon it
And the smell has always made me want to vomit
I tried my best to stop myself throwing up all over you
But I don't know how

I said maybe
I'd been eating gravy
Steak and kidney pies
All over thunderthighs

I said maybe
Flaky, flaky pastry
Diced carrots and fries
All over thunderthighs
I said maybe...