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Song Parodies -> "(Nothin') Sells Like The Holy Spirit!"

Original Song Title:

"Smells Like Teen Spirit"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Nirvana

Parody Song Title:

"(Nothin') Sells Like The Holy Spirit!"

Parody Written by:

Kristof Robertson

The Lyrics

One (hyphenated) word...tele-evangelists!
Load up on Godsend some cash
We've special bargains for white trash
Don't feel ignored.Praise The Lord!
I'll take all that you can afford

Amen, amen, Amex, amen
Amen, amen, Amex, amen
Amen, amen, blank checks, amen
Amen, amen, amen

Feelin' cruddy? Need salvation?
Come on, buddybig donation!
Gonna bless the.congregation
Coz they pay formy vacation
Yeah!

I'll raise my voicedo a dance
Beelzebub'sgot no chance
And though I preachsin and hellfire
I'm gettin' off with half the choir

Amen, amen, teen sex, amen
Amen, gay men, big pecs, gay men
Amen, gay men, teen sex, amen
Gay men, gay men, amen

If you're strugglin'with temptation
Or you're hooked onmasturbation
Out-of-wedlockimpregnation?
You don't need theaggravation
Slutty bimbosdrunken winos
Don't despair-opay dinero!
Yeah!!

Now you've been bad, and you can't sleep
God won't forgive you if you're cheap
That Mastercardwill do just fine
Hard sell; no hell, but peace of mind

Amen, amen, Amex, amen
Amen, amen, Amex, amen
Amen, amen, blank checks, amen
Amen, amen, amen

Drugs and gamblin'.fornication!
We could skip thecondemnation
Screw your childrens'graduation
And your sick wife'smedication
My casinodown in Reno
Has no cash flowbig problem-o!
You're a liar?
Gay desire?
Price goes higher
I require
Funds to buy-ah
New attire
And church spire
That hellfire
It'll fry yahhhhhhhhh..

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 38

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   2
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 1
 2
 
 4   3
 3
 4
 
 5   33
 34
 32
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - October 17, 2006 - Report this comment
Another episode of the 555 Club
TJC - October 17, 2006 - Report this comment
Oh Lordy... come take my funny bone away before it kills me! So right on it hurts!
AFW - October 17, 2006 - Report this comment
Hell eludes ya'......This is torn right outa' the pages of afternoon TV...highly humerous stuff here, Kristof..great lines and flows as smooth as Niagara Falls with molasses
Claude Prez - October 17, 2006 - Report this comment
"God won't forgive you if you're cheap" <
John Barry - October 17, 2006 - Report this comment
Pat robs ya, son, and the coffer's of Jerry fall well below expectation without the correct donation. Excellent scam-artist skewering.
alvin rhodes - October 17, 2006 - Report this comment
amen...you hit the nail on the head...5s plus
daniel - October 17, 2006 - Report this comment
i would vote 666(haha) if i could!!!!
PMS - October 17, 2006 - Report this comment
Holy sh*t that's funny! Too many great lines to single out just one.
Jack Wilson - October 17, 2006 - Report this comment
This definitely made me laugh out loud 555!
Stuart McArthur - October 17, 2006 - Report this comment
wow, brilliant! and must have been so hard to do, not only changing all those nasty short chorus lines each time, but finding enough rhymes, getting them to pace AND making each one funny - truly Kristofian of the highest order - 555!
Claude Prez - October 17, 2006 - Report this comment
Hey! I just noticed my earlier comment got cut off; I was going to say that may be one of my favorite lines ever -- outstanding stuff!!
Dirty Hairy - October 17, 2006 - Report this comment
I rarely have access to a computer these days, but I'm sure glad I got on one today. This is devilishly clever, as good as I've seen on this site. This would get 100 out of 100 if the voting was structured that way.
Lionel Mertens - October 17, 2006 - Report this comment
What keen discernment you have. 5's
Spaff.com - October 17, 2006 - Report this comment
Just perfect. Kristof is Overlord!
Red Ant - October 18, 2006 - Report this comment
Indeed, very funny stuff, Kristof. Would it be annoying if I mentioned you left out the "A mulatto, a mosquito..." part after the first chorus? If so, I won't bring it up. 5s.
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - October 18, 2006 - Report this comment
Smells Like Spirit - Period!
Phil Alexander - October 18, 2006 - Report this comment
Caught this through the comments (does that sound like it should be a "heard it through the grapevine" parody?)... simply the best Teen Spirit parody so far. I should know, I've done a couple :-)
Agrimorfee - October 18, 2006 - Report this comment
You heathen mongrel! 555
Kristof Robertson - October 20, 2006 - Report this comment
A very very belated thank you to Matthias, TJC, AFW, Claude (hey, stranger!), John, Alvin, Daniel, PMS, Jack W, Stu, Hairy, Lionel, Spaff, Antman Jack, Peter, Phil and Agri (phew!) Jack, re. the missing lines: I know, I know....this is what happens when you cut corners. I wanted to post this ASAP, and relied on an obviously incorrect lyric sheet, without actually going back and listening to one of my all time fave songs. Dang! I'll have to do penance....;-)
daniel - October 23, 2006 - Report this comment
sup!
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - November 12, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM - See above. :-)
tomario - November 14, 2006 - Report this comment
"Don't despair-o…pay dinero!"i didn't old robert was an evangelist !lol awsome parody 555
Chris Bodily TM - November 22, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Wow! I finally found my SOTM, after reading a zillion other amazing parodies, yours really strikes an F5 power chord with me. I loved the juxtaposition fo God and money, two things are historically don't go together very well. Though the second part of the first chorus is missing, I forgive you (no pun intended) because some online lyrics are so goofed up. See you at SOTM, Kristof! 555
Jack Wilson - November 22, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) And the SOTM awads goes to...
The Charnstar - November 24, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM You got the cat in the bag, no contest here, this RULED!
Red Ant - November 26, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above, but this deserves special praise since IIRC it predated the Ted Haggart news stories by a mere days. Had you mentioned "take meth" in the prechorus, I would be convinced you are psychic. Still great work with all the variations and rhyming. A parody I would love to have written!
bobpiecheese - November 26, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) You missed a bit of the first chorus, but I don't really care! Awesome work, Kristof (as usual)!
Agrimorfee - November 27, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Love the (not so) subliminal, Freudian-slipping word changes. Let's throw another kindly donation of 555 to the cause.
Stuart McArthur - November 27, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) as I said, brilliant KR! and to pick 2 highlights: "Don't despair-o…pay dinero" and the choir line
Michael McVey - November 28, 2006 - Report this comment
You've touched a nerve, and justifiably so. I would recommend Ray Stevens' "Would Jesus Wear a Rolex?". It also makes the point well.----MM
Phil Alexander - November 29, 2006 - Report this comment
Sorry everybody (everybody other than K, that is), but this one is in a league of its own this month... [note to self: must try harder]
2nz - November 29, 2006 - Report this comment
Alright already, Kristof. You're still good even after my 6-month sabbatical, I get it. Flawless parody and whatever. Here's my donation. Hey, can I give twice my normal donation and preemptively avoid condemnation for stuff I plan on doing this week?
wannabemustangjockey - November 30, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM - Hellfire and gemstone. From the looks of the voting so far, you'll be getting your reward very soon. I'm afraid I'm broke at the moment, but you can have my pocket lint and these McDonald's napkins. They're going to a good cause.
Jeff Reuben - November 30, 2006 - Report this comment
Awesome job, and what bobpie said about the first chorus. Tons of great lines!
Tim Mayfield - December 01, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM: Pew! What some people won't do for a little prophet! We've made a coffer you can't refuse!
Mascot - December 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Give this person a Grammy, so that they can throw it at the peoples in this song, come on, if you're 'going to Hell' anyways, might as well let them get some money for the scrap Grammy, before they pee on you.
Matthias - March 15, 2007 - Report this comment
Smells like Song of the Year
Rick C - March 27, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTY) Ah, what a brilliant parody! I loved the "amen, amex" line especially. Since my soon-to-be ex-wife is a born-again Christian, I can relate to a lot of this. I don't trust religious leaders one iota. 555+++
Below Average Dave - March 31, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTY) Sadly, this song isn't just a parody. . .it's the major religions of the world. . .as always Kristof Good work, it's gotta feel good when even your less than best songs are among the best of the site.
Johnny D - May 31, 2007 - Report this comment
POTM - You know the saying "He's got more money than God" ? Well, KR, YOU'VE got more FUNNY than God!

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