Song Parodies -> (Nothin') Sells Like The Holy Spirit!
| Original Song Title: | "Smells Like Teen Spirit" |
| Original Performer: | Nirvana |
| Parody Song Title: | "(Nothin') Sells Like The Holy Spirit!" |
| Parody Written by: | Kristof Robertson |
One (hyphenated) word...tele-evangelists!
Load up on Godsend some cash
We've special bargains for white trash
Don't feel ignored.Praise The Lord!
I'll take all that you can afford
Amen, amen, Amex, amen
Amen, amen, Amex, amen
Amen, amen, blank checks, amen
Amen, amen, amen
Feelin' cruddy? Need salvation?
Come on, buddybig donation!
Gonna bless the.congregation
Coz they pay formy vacation
Yeah!
I'll raise my voicedo a dance
Beelzebub'sgot no chance
And though I preachsin and hellfire
I'm gettin' off with half the choir
Amen, amen, teen sex, amen
Amen, gay men, big pecs, gay men
Amen, gay men, teen sex, amen
Gay men, gay men, amen
If you're strugglin'with temptation
Or you're hooked onmasturbation
Out-of-wedlockimpregnation?
You don't need theaggravation
Slutty bimbosdrunken winos
Don't despair-opay dinero!
Yeah!!
Now you've been bad, and you can't sleep
God won't forgive you if you're cheap
That Mastercardwill do just fine
Hard sell; no hell, but peace of mind
Amen, amen, Amex, amen
Amen, amen, Amex, amen
Amen, amen, blank checks, amen
Amen, amen, amen
Drugs and gamblin'.fornication!
We could skip thecondemnation
Screw your childrens'graduation
And your sick wife'smedication
My casinodown in Reno
Has no cash flowbig problem-o!
You're a liar?
Gay desire?
Price goes higher
I require
Funds to buy-ah
New attire
And church spire
That hellfire
It'll fry yahhhhhhhhh..
We've special bargains for white trash
Don't feel ignored.Praise The Lord!
I'll take all that you can afford
Amen, amen, Amex, amen
Amen, amen, Amex, amen
Amen, amen, blank checks, amen
Amen, amen, amen
Feelin' cruddy? Need salvation?
Come on, buddybig donation!
Gonna bless the.congregation
Coz they pay formy vacation
Yeah!
I'll raise my voicedo a dance
Beelzebub'sgot no chance
And though I preachsin and hellfire
I'm gettin' off with half the choir
Amen, amen, teen sex, amen
Amen, gay men, big pecs, gay men
Amen, gay men, teen sex, amen
Gay men, gay men, amen
If you're strugglin'with temptation
Or you're hooked onmasturbation
Out-of-wedlockimpregnation?
You don't need theaggravation
Slutty bimbosdrunken winos
Don't despair-opay dinero!
Yeah!!
Now you've been bad, and you can't sleep
God won't forgive you if you're cheap
That Mastercardwill do just fine
Hard sell; no hell, but peace of mind
Amen, amen, Amex, amen
Amen, amen, Amex, amen
Amen, amen, blank checks, amen
Amen, amen, amen
Drugs and gamblin'.fornication!
We could skip thecondemnation
Screw your childrens'graduation
And your sick wife'smedication
My casinodown in Reno
Has no cash flowbig problem-o!
You're a liar?
Gay desire?
Price goes higher
I require
Funds to buy-ah
New attire
And church spire
That hellfire
It'll fry yahhhhhhhhh..
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 2 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 1 | 2 | ||||||||
| 4 | 3 | 3 | 4 | ||||||||
| 5 | 33 | 34 | 32 |
User Comments Follow...
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Another episode of the 555 Club
Oh Lordy... come take my funny bone away before it kills me! So right on it hurts!
Hell eludes ya'......This is torn right outa' the pages of afternoon TV...highly humerous stuff here, Kristof..great lines and flows as smooth as Niagara Falls with molasses
"God won't forgive you if you're cheap" <
Pat robs ya, son, and the coffer's of Jerry fall well below expectation without the correct donation. Excellent scam-artist skewering.
amen...you hit the nail on the head...5s plus
i would vote 666(haha) if i could!!!!
Holy sh*t that's funny! Too many great lines to single out just one.
This definitely made me laugh out loud 555!
wow, brilliant! and must have been so hard to do, not only changing all those nasty short chorus lines each time, but finding enough rhymes, getting them to pace AND making each one funny - truly Kristofian of the highest order - 555!
Hey! I just noticed my earlier comment got cut off; I was going to say that may be one of my favorite lines ever -- outstanding stuff!!
I rarely have access to a computer these days, but I'm sure glad I got on one today. This is devilishly clever, as good as I've seen on this site. This would get 100 out of 100 if the voting was structured that way.
What keen discernment you have. 5's
Just perfect. Kristof is Overlord!
Indeed, very funny stuff, Kristof. Would it be annoying if I mentioned you left out the "A mulatto, a mosquito..." part after the first chorus? If so, I won't bring it up. 5s.
Smells Like Spirit - Period!
Caught this through the comments (does that sound like it should be a "heard it through the grapevine" parody?)... simply the best Teen Spirit parody so far. I should know, I've done a couple :-)
You heathen mongrel! 555
A very very belated thank you to Matthias, TJC, AFW, Claude (hey, stranger!), John, Alvin, Daniel, PMS, Jack W, Stu, Hairy, Lionel, Spaff, Antman Jack, Peter, Phil and Agri (phew!) Jack, re. the missing lines: I know, I know....this is what happens when you cut corners. I wanted to post this ASAP, and relied on an obviously incorrect lyric sheet, without actually going back and listening to one of my all time fave songs. Dang! I'll have to do penance....;-)
sup!
SOTM - See above. :-)
"Don't despair-o…pay dinero!"i didn't old robert was an evangelist !lol awsome parody 555
(SOTM) Wow! I finally found my SOTM, after reading a zillion other amazing parodies, yours really strikes an F5 power chord with me. I loved the juxtaposition fo God and money, two things are historically don't go together very well. Though the second part of the first chorus is missing, I forgive you (no pun intended) because some online lyrics are so goofed up. See you at SOTM, Kristof! 555
(SOTM) And the SOTM awads goes to...
SOTM You got the cat in the bag, no contest here, this RULED!
(SOTM) See above, but this deserves special praise since IIRC it predated the Ted Haggart news stories by a mere days. Had you mentioned "take meth" in the prechorus, I would be convinced you are psychic. Still great work with all the variations and rhyming. A parody I would love to have written!
(SOTM) You missed a bit of the first chorus, but I don't really care! Awesome work, Kristof (as usual)!
(SOTM) Love the (not so) subliminal, Freudian-slipping word changes. Let's throw another kindly donation of 555 to the cause.
(SOTM) as I said, brilliant KR! and to pick 2 highlights: "Don't despair-o…pay dinero" and the choir line
You've touched a nerve, and justifiably so. I would recommend Ray Stevens' "Would Jesus Wear a Rolex?". It also makes the point well.----MM
Sorry everybody (everybody other than K, that is), but this one is in a league of its own this month... [note to self: must try harder]
Alright already, Kristof. You're still good even after my 6-month sabbatical, I get it. Flawless parody and whatever. Here's my donation. Hey, can I give twice my normal donation and preemptively avoid condemnation for stuff I plan on doing this week?
SOTM - Hellfire and gemstone. From the looks of the voting so far, you'll be getting your reward very soon. I'm afraid I'm broke at the moment, but you can have my pocket lint and these McDonald's napkins. They're going to a good cause.
Awesome job, and what bobpie said about the first chorus. Tons of great lines!
SOTM: Pew! What some people won't do for a little prophet! We've made a coffer you can't refuse!
Give this person a Grammy, so that they can throw it at the peoples in this song, come on, if you're 'going to Hell' anyways, might as well let them get some money for the scrap Grammy, before they pee on you.
Smells like Song of the Year
(SOTY) Ah, what a brilliant parody! I loved the "amen, amex" line especially. Since my soon-to-be ex-wife is a born-again Christian, I can relate to a lot of this. I don't trust religious leaders one iota. 555+++
(SOTY) Sadly, this song isn't just a parody. . .it's the major religions of the world. . .as always Kristof Good work, it's gotta feel good when even your less than best songs are among the best of the site.
POTM - You know the saying "He's got more money than God" ? Well, KR, YOU'VE got more FUNNY than God!
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This is view # 560
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