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Song Parodies -> "Beavis Just Drank A Pot Of Coffee"

Original Song Title:

"Jesus Doesn't Want Me For A Sunbeam"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Beavis Just Drank A Pot Of Coffee"

Parody Written by:

Red Ant

The Lyrics

Words in {squiggly brackets} are spoken words/soundbytes that would be mixed into a recording and are not parodied lyrics.

Words in [regular brackets] are actions/directions and are not sung. Butthead sings the whole parody.

Notes: Kurt sings "don't"instead of "doesn't" so the title line paces, however I intentionally ruined the pace and rhyme scheme in a few places as Butthead would.

[Beavis is annoying Butthead]
{Butthead: "Cut it out Beavis, I'm going to like, uh, sing and stuff."}
{Beavis: "Oh yeah, huh-huh. Sorry about that"}

~Song begins~

Beavis... don't want me for a best friend
Some friend you turned out to be
{Beavis: "Shut up Butthead!"}
Don't expect me to cry
For all the rodents - you had to fry
{Beavis: "FRYER! FRYER!"}
Don't never pass your butt on me
{Beavis: "You shouldn't use double negati..."}
[Butthead smacks Beavis] {Beavis: "Ow, butthole!"}

Like a sissy you'll cry
What a wussy you cry
What a um, something you cry, dumbass
{Beavis: "Shut up fartknocker, you're ruining the song!"}
{Butthead: "Ohhh yeah."}

Beavis... don't want me for a best friend
{Beavis: "Yeah, heh-heh that's better - um wait."}
Some friend you turned out to be
{Beavis: "Shut up Butthead - you suck!"}
Don't expect me to cry
For all the women - and Spanish Fly
{Beavis: "FLYER! FLYER!"}
Don't, uhh - what are the words again?
{Beavis: "Ummmm..... Fly? Yeah! Flies!"}

Don't expect me to fly
Don't expect me to fly
Don't expect me to fly for me

{Beavis: "Um, That doesn't make any sense Butthead."}
{Butthead: "So what, dill-hole. I'm a rock star."}
{Beavis: "Yeah! Now we can get chicks - and score!"}
{Butthead: "Huh huh. You'll never score - watch this."}

Beavis never gets laid
{Beavis: "WHAT!"}
Beavis never gets laid
{Beavis: "Shut up, buttmunch!"}
Beavis never gets laid - for free!
{Beavis: "I hate you Butthead! I'm leaving!"}
{Butthead: "Uh, okay. Hey Beavis,
there's some coffee over here..."}
{Beavis: "Fr-r-r-r-rapachino? hehehe hehehehe"}
[Beavis starts furiously downing coffee. He then
pulls his shirt over his head]

Beavis... just drank a pot of coffee
{Beavis: "I AM CORNHOLIO!"}
Caffeine... it just makes me pee
{Beavis: "TP? I need TP for my BUNGHOLE!"}
Won't be sleeping tonight
{Beavis: "Do you have - TP?!"}
I'm out of paper - 'cause I just wiped
{Beavis: "I need TP - for my PORTFOLIO!}
What-ever, you, uh butt monkey
{Beavis: "ROLIO HOLIO! he hehehe"}

Don't expect me to cry
[Beavis steps away from the microphone,
the above lyric keeps playing until fade-out
since he was lip-syncing the song anyway]
{Butthead: "Um, I rocked. I'm gonna score with those chicks
over there. Hey babe, come to Butthead."}
[Beavis continues the schizo-Cornholio skit, lights dim]

~~The End~~
copyright 2006+ Jack "Red Ant" Fletcher

TOS was a Vasolines tune.

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   14

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Billy Boyd - March 22, 2006 - Report this comment
YEAHHH!!! Ant, you are my hero....I LOVE Beavis & Butt-Head and miss them terribly, and this parody was like a new episode. This is my favorite parody of the day...hell, week...or perhaps ever. So, anyway, what I'm saying is that it's, like, cool and stuff....heres some 5's...or something.
Michael Pacholek - March 22, 2006 - Report this comment
I don't miss Beavis and Butthead. I hit them with my first shot. (Well, my first and my second, anyway.) Beavis with a whole pot of coffee in him? There's a scary thought. V for this... I mean, 5 for this parody. (Sorry, I've still got "V for Vendetta" on my mind.)
alvin rhodes - March 22, 2006 - Report this comment
high energy
Joel Martinez - March 22, 2006 - Report this comment
Unlike all the times I've commented about you're parodies, this has got to be the best one yet! I'm not just saying that cuz I'm a big fan of Beavis And Butthead, but cause I'm also a big fan of this Nirvana song!(and Nirvana of course) Making a parody of this song with the theme for beavis and butthead is like making a party with the theme for strip club (okay that didn't come out right!) Anyway, well done! It's sad the highest score I'm allowed to give you is 555, I'd nominate this the song of the month!
raddog20002002 - March 22, 2006 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but this is funny as a Weird Al song and I believe that your parody lyrics met with the original. 555 :)
John Barry - March 22, 2006 - Report this comment
DKTOS either, but from the little of B&B I saw in its heyday, this is dead on characterization. 555
Tommy Turtle - March 22, 2006 - Report this comment
DKTOS or characters... no TV in ocean nor in cave in Afg'stan... Butt, a lot went into this, obeavisly.
AFW - March 22, 2006 - Report this comment
I was never a big B&B fan...but, you seem to have captured their likeness, here..good job
Adagio - March 22, 2006 - Report this comment
DKTOS and don't know about B&B. Got a copy of the original lyrics?
Larry Hensley - March 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Uhhhhhhhh..........DKTOS. Heh Heh, liked the parody though. Yeah yeah! Only watched the show a couple times, but this rules!
Red Ant - March 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Wow, major thanks to Billy Boyd, Michael P, Alvin, Raddog, John B, TT, AFW, Pat and Larry.

Billy Boyd: That's like, ummmm, high praise and stuff. You rule, heh heh.

Michael: Wow, you like commented on a Nirvana parody of mine. I never thought I'd live to see the day! Thanks, and stuff.

Alvin: Caffeine fueled this creation as well, though I only had like, uh, not as much as Beavis

Joel: High praise there too; I don't think I've had one of my works recommended for SOTM before, though I had a lot of fun writing this and it is funny, I think the DKTOS demon would haunt me there (see 5 of the 6 comments below yours). Demons suck.

Raddog20002002: If (when) I get recording equipment this will be high up on my to do list. Heh heh, I said "do".

John B, AFW and Larry: I've seen probably every B&B episode more times than I care to remember, so the characterization should be pretty close. "Member", huh huh heh hehe.

Tommy Turtle: This song is from "Unplugged in New York"; it is perhaps Nirvana's best CD. As for the episodes, unfortunately the ones available on CD are edited heavily. Viacom sucks.

Pat: I will PM you with the lyrics I modified/completed; most lyrics sites have only one verse and chorus (since they repeat 3 times) and are horribly formatted.

Thanks again everyone, you guys rule!
Stuart McArthur - March 23, 2006 - Report this comment
exactly what John Barry said - I liked the "Beavis never gets laid" bit, Red - 555
Stephen Harrington - March 23, 2006 - Report this comment
How in the heck did I miss this parody yesterday? I usually always spot the Nirvana ones. 555, very good.
TT - March 23, 2006 - Report this comment
I can understand some editing of over-air TV, but why edit a CD???

BTW, was "obeavisly" no good???
Red Ant - March 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks Stu, Step-chan and TT. Tommy Turtle, good puns there indeed. A bit of B&B history/knowledge is necessary to answer that question. Beavis used to yell "FIRE!" early on until some trailer trash's brat set fire to their trailer. She claimed the kid got the inspiration from B&B, despite the fact they didn't even have cable. MTV (or Mike Judge (the creator of B&B) not sure which) decided to never make/air another "Fire" espisode again. No re-runs were ever shown and none of those episodes made in onto DVD. Also, Beavis and Butthead used to watch actual music video clips, usually making fun of the artists. None of those segments were included in the DVDs either. I would say the 40-some episode 3-disc DVD set I have with those 2 omissions is only 1/3 as good as the show was .
Mr Andersson - March 26, 2006 - Report this comment
DKTOS actually, and stay away from my swedish lawn BTW! :-)
Red Ant - March 28, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks Peter, and lawns suck. Your toolshed however is a different matter!
Matthias - October 22, 2006 - Report this comment
Hehhehhehhehehhehhehehehehehehhehheh.... Great one Fartknocker!
Red Ant - December 04, 2006 - Report this comment
Uhhh, like, thanks, and stuff to Matthias!
CRAZY GARY - August 20, 2010 - Report this comment
omg this is AWESUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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