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Song Parodies -> "Father Time vs. Baby New Year"

Original Song Title:

"Epic Rap Battles of History"

Original Performer:

Nice Peter & Epic Lloyd

Parody Song Title:

"Father Time vs. Baby New Year"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

December 31, 1979: We wrote "1980" on construction paper, cut it up, and made it a sash for my baby sister on New Year's Eve. She didn't seem to mind at the time. We thought of making a "1979" one for my 73-year-old grandfather, but we figured he wouldn't have appreciated it. So we only had a Baby New Year, not a Father Time.
(kazoos and noisemakers)

Epic Rap Battles of History!

Father Time!


Baby New Year!


(Father Time)
Once I thought I'd
seen it all.
Thousands of times
I've seen them drop the ball.
Now comes a baby
in a top hat and sash?
I've got crumbs older
than you in my mustache!
I've seen inventions and art
and the Moon landing.
What have you seen?
Not a f***ing thing!
You step to me, you'll
have to pay the piper!
And I think you need
to change that diaper!
My rhymes are as cold
as the Winter, laddie!
You're a baby full of promise
but I'm your Daddy!

(Baby New Year)
Like the sands in your hourglass
your time's run out.
People want you gone
while I make them shout!
My diaper and my bars are fresh.
Can't you tell?
While everybody hates
that "old man smell"!
You better straighten your nightgown
and brush your beard
'cause you mess with Big Baby
you're gonna get smeared!
When the clock strikes twelve
I'll be everybody's hero!
While you're like your teeth:
A great big zero!

Why no respect for your elders?
Such a mystery.
You're gettin' in the ring
with all of history!
You'd better learn from me
'cause you just can't defeat it
or else you'll be
condemned to repeat it!
I've seen every year before you.
They all start with a smile.
But 12 months later, everyone's
sick of their style!
You thought you could beat me?
You're an infantile liar.
Tell Billy Joel I'm the one
who started the fire!

You call that a good thing?
Take that to the dump!
I'm 2018:
The year we impeach Trump!
You're old and slow.
Anybody can touch ya.
My year will feature
a World Cup in Russia!
There'll be a new baseball season
and plenty of movies
and TV shows to prove
I'm so groovy!
The sand's run out
of your hourglass.
I can't even walk
but I kicked your ass!

Who won?
Who's next?
You decide!


("Auld Lang Syne" plays)

Rap Battles of History!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 2.7
How Funny: 2.7
Overall Rating: 2.7

Total Votes: 19

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   11
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

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Rob Arndt - January 02, 2018 - Report this comment
Nice concept- 555!
2018 - January 03, 2018 - Report this comment
Hey, y'all! Hold my beer and watch this!

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