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Song Parodies -> "Elf"

Original Song Title:

"Bitch"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Meredith Brooks

Parody Song Title:

"Elf"

Parody Written by:

Rex Ungericht

The Lyrics

Song #2 of "The 12 Parodies of Christmas".
I love the workshop life
Get to hang around with Santa and his wife
Let me tell you
That it borders on amazing
How we make so many toys
For the girls and boys

Yesterday I tried
Telling Santa that the union has denied
His demand that all the elves participate
In the reindeer games
Our HMO won't cover us if we pull up lame

I'm an elf, not a jock
I've got pointy ears like Spock*
And I wear these funny clothes
With sleighbells on the toes
I make toys, it's a knack
I fill up Santa's sack
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

But this you must believe
Gonna start a labor strike on Christmas eve
Rest assured that I can always work at Keebler**
If I'm terminated here
So Santa change your mind
Let us stick to our career

I'm an elf, union boss
Wished I looked like Legolas***
And I've got a funny voice
Like some pubescent boys
I am short, I am small
I'm useless in a brawl
You know I haven't known it any other way

Just when you think that everything is fine
The fat guy becomes a schemer
It's good that I got us organized
And into the teamsters

I'm an elf, don't be scared
Got a grievance to be aired
If you don't accept my offer
You might end up like Hoffa****
Let's sit down, make a deal
It's one you can't appeal
You know you can't refuse my offer anyway

I'm an elf, and I'm tough --
What's that? Santa's called my bluff
He will let us keep our perks
If we get right back to work
So I'm here, making toys
For all the girls and boys
You know it couldn't end up any other way
* Spock was the pointy-eared Vulcan on the original Star Trek TV show.** Keebler is a cookie manufacturer. Their commercials feature cookie-making elves.*** Legolas is an elf in The Lord of the Rings.**** Jimmy Hoffa was a teamsters union boss who mysteriously disappeared in 1975. It was assumed he was killed by the Mafia.Lyrics copyright 2005 Rex Ungericht. All rights reserved.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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Ravyn Rant - November 08, 2005 - Report this comment
This is really cute - I laughed out loud at the mental picture of a Teamster elf.
Michael Pacholek - November 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Not what I was hoping it would be about... and we all know who these asterisked references are. Except this Legolas guy, I'm not familiar with him.
AFW - November 08, 2005 - Report this comment
DKOS....but, I've known some bitches...this has much artistry of content...clever lines and rhymes..5's
Rex - November 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Ravyn - me too. I picture a cigar-smoking elf played by Danny DiVito. Michael - I concede that most will know the references, but it's been 30 years since Hoffa, longer since Star Trek TOS, and I don't know if Keebler is a world-wide company. AFW - thanks, a lot of the lines in this one just fell into place. Now, 10 more Christmas songs to post before December 25...
John Jenkins - November 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Funny story with a very good ending.
Arwen - November 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Somehow I missed this one yesterday...nice job, Rex. I wish you looked like Legolas, too...; )

As for Mr. Pacholek's hope...if you want something done, do it yourself. Oh wait...you have...many times...to my sheer delight. ; )
Rex - November 10, 2005 - Report this comment
John - thanks, it's appreciated. Arwen - At least if I looked like Legolas people would stop mistaking me for Vin Diesel.
Squire G - December 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Good One! 5 5 5

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