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Song Parodies -> "You Can't Pump This"

Original Song Title:

"You Can't Touch This"

Original Performer:

MC Hammer

Parody Song Title:

"You Can't Pump This"

Parody Written by:

Jeremy H.

The Lyrics

Here's a parody we wrote for biology class. It helps to know the parts of the circulatory system.
U Can't Pump This!
U Can't Pump This!
U Can't Pump This (oh-oh oh oh oh-oh) X2

My my my my heart is Pumpin' so hard
I'd better slow down, on-that lard
That Big Mac - you'll reminisce
Leads to ather'sclerosis -feels bad-
When your heart stops beatin'
It's-a-case that the Doctor should be treatin'
So get it checked out - chump
Must be a disease-uh, you can't pump

The Doctor told you homeboy [u can't pump this]
That's not how you should be livin', ya knooow! [u can't pump this]
Look at my veins, maaan! [u can't pump this]
-Yo, you gotta lower that cholesterol


Coronary - Bypass
Declog those arteries so blood can pass
Get up - and excersize
Eat right and-lay-off those fries
Dawg check your - blood pressure - pump a little bit
Heart rates gettin fresher - like that, like that
Now-you-and-your Doc won't have to chat
So get it checked out - chump
Must be a disease-uh, you can't pump

Yo - we told you [u can't pump this]
Why you breathin' hard, man? [u can't pump this]
You best know the parts of the heart, sucka



SA node sets the rhythm
The-AV-node follows-through the septum
Now - you know -
When you talk-about-the-heart, you talk-about- blood flow - The Aaa-
-Triaa-
Gets its blood from the vena-cava - And this-
-is key
out-the ventricle to-the pulmonary
The hearts - Legit
Cuz' - the myogenic muscle won't quit


That's the truth cuz' you know
U Can't Pump This! (oh-oh oh oh-oh-oh) X2
-Exercise
(oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) (oh oh-oh oh) X4 (jumping jacks)
Stop - Heart Attack


Electrocardiograph - if you see a flat line-
It's not time to laugh, you should -
- Love P-Q-R-S-T
Think of them as your hearts family
Call-a paramedic
If-your-hearts-nerves aren't sympathetic
Grooove to the Lubb
Wait for second and move to the Dubb
Lubb - Dubb - Dubb Yeeeeeeah!


U Can't Pump This!
Look Man, U Can't Pump This!
Listen to your heart boy -
Can you hear that murmur, you can't pump this!
Better dial up the Doc - Exercise!
(oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) (oh oh-oh oh) X4 (Hammer dance)
Stop - Heart Attack
(oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) X2
(oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh)
(oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) U Can't Pump This! X3
(oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) - Exercise!
(oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) (oh oh-oh oh) X2
Stop - Heart Attack

Every time you see her - you drop a pick-up line-a
She might wink back- so beware of heart angina
Love at first sight - til' you suffocate and choke
Damn you illin' boy - I Think you had a stroke
Shout out to Sherbinin - he is our fav'rite prof.
It's Sherbie-Go Sherbie-MC Sherbie-Yo Sherbie - Bonus Marks: cough-cough-cough


U Can't Pump This! (oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) X2
U Can't Pump This! (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) (oh oh-oh oh)
Yeah - U Can't Pump This!
We told you - U Can't Pump This! (oh-oh oh-oh-oh)
That's right - Can't Pump This!
We're Outta Here - U Can't Pump This!
(oh-oh-oh-oh)


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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   3
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 3
 

User Comments

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MIIKE - May 17, 2020 - Report this comment
YO WE OUTTA HERE

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