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Song Parodies -> "I Can't Watch This (2001 Remix)"

Original Song Title:

"U Can't Touch This"

Original Performer:

MC Hammer

Parody Song Title:

"I Can't Watch This (2001 Remix)"

Parody Written by:

Michael Flynn

The Lyrics

This is an updated version of Weird Al Yankovic's 1992 song "I Can't Watch This". Also, I'm not serious about "24" in this song. It rules!
I can't watch this
I can't watch this
I can't watch this
I can't watch this

My my my my TV is a big bore
Gives me a bad cold sore
What is this garbage here?
Want to see no evil and hear no evil
It sucks, and that's no lie
It's about as much fun as watching ants die
Lowers my IQ one notch
And that's the reason why, uh, I can't watch

I toldja homeboy! I can't watch this!
Yeah, nothing but trash an ya know I can't watch this!
Punch my nose in man...I can't watch this
Yo, gimme the remote control f--ker, I can't watch this!

Talkin' 'bout sick shows
There's America's version of the Weakest Link
I can't believe my eyes
When I hear her quip about some guy's big eyes
Somebody's poor dead mom is gonna roll over in her grave
When she laughs about the mom choking on a grape
That's funny, like losing your whole crotch
And that's the reason why---UGH!--I can't watch

Hey, I told you...I can't watch this
Change the channel now man...I can't watch this
Yo, turn on the TV Guide Channel f--ker...I can't watch this

The Practice and Frasier
Think I've taken bout as much as I can
The West Wing...oh my
You've gotta be Al Gore to like these guys
The all right
If you like hearing mobsters cursing all night
Can't stand Will and Grace
Wish they'd spray Jack with flammable mace
That Kiefer Sutherland show
Makes 24 hours really blow.

That's word because you know I can't watch this
I can't watch this
Break it down!


Stop! Prime time!
I'll be sure, I'll be sick
If I have to watch more wrestling with that guy
With the real flat hair that goes "If ya smelllllll!" with his tongue in the air
Those weird talk shows
About pregnant-teen Polynesians
They're crass, crude, and vile
Just for a minute let's fix the satellite
Fix, fix, fix.....ECCCCCCH!!!!!!

I can't watch this
Look man...I can't watch this
I can't take this torture no more, I can't...I can't watch this
Pay your bills, station break! Break it down!


Stop! Cable Time!
HBO and Encore,
Oxygen is a bore,
I might like it more after seeing my buttock pores
Now why would I ever pay for this junk?
I got 800 channels, and each one sucks
Just brains splattering on walls
And too much nudity
It's s--tty, it's it's crappy, it's vile, it blows, gonna blow my TV up

I can't watch this
I can't watch this
I can't watch this
Yeah, I can't watch this
I told you I can't watch this
It sucks, I can't watch this
Get me outta here I can't watch this

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.9
How Funny: 4.1
Overall Rating: 3.9

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   3
 4   1
 5   8

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