Godda** it's on my hand
I ate some rancid meat
Now I have soiled my sheets
I cannot eat this meal
Intestines had their fill
I messed myself in sleep
As I fart I will weep
It slipped out, you can see
Now it's all over me
I think it's gonna stick
I smell like my own shi*
I shouldn't eat that Spam
Godda** it's on my hand
Godda**, good lord (X4)

Pepto-Bismol works real well
when your bowels are feeling weak
and those pink tablets worked like magic
But now I gotta pee

I really gotta shi*
my colon's getting pissed
This pain makes me squirm
My anus feels the burn

Got the runs, got the runs
Got the runs, got the runs!

Pepto-Bismol works real well
when your bowels are feeling weak
and those pink tablets worked like magic
But now I gotta pee
(X2)
(sounds of splatters and someone saying "Oh no!")

I've got the IBS
My rectum starts to twist
The water stops it's twirl
I think I'm gonna hurl

(sounds of blowing chunks)

Pepto-Bismol works real well
when your bowels are feeling weak
and those pink tablets worked like magic
But now I gotta pee
(X2)

Got the runs, got the runs
Got the runs, got the runs!