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Song Parodies -> "All I've Got For Christmas Is Booze"

Original Song Title:

"All I Want For Christmas Is You"

Original Performer:

Mariah Carey

Parody Song Title:

"All I've Got For Christmas Is Booze"

Parody Written by:

Wendy Christopher

The Lyrics

Still continuing with the Christmas theme...

And here's a link to the original song.

Wonder what I’ve got for Christmas?
Funny but it seems to me
There’s a smell of alcohol from
Underneath the Christmas tree

Ev’ryone I’ve ever known
Thinks that just ‘cos I’m alone
I’m a sad old flooze
All I’ve got for Christmas is booze!

I’ve got lots of hock for Christmas
That my friends have bought for me
(Well are) they try’ng to tell me something?
Crappy stab at subtlety!
Just because I flash my stockings
That don’t mean I’m off my face
I can hold my drink for certain
They’re the ones who can’t keep pace

Yes I’m quite a party girl
Sometimes drink until I hurl
Still that’s no excuse…
All I’ve got for Christmas is booze!
Ooooh, crazy…

Oh, Blue Nun, Strongbow and Mateus -
Drink those when I’m on the lash*
Why’ve they given me the cheap stuff
Do they think I’m trailer trash?
Why’d they never buy me glasses?
Message here is pretty stark
Think I drink it from the bottle
Like a wino in the park!

So are they saying I’m a lush?
I don’t like that very much
Heck, that’s just abuse!
Dammit all I’ve got for Christmas is booze!
Booze baby…

I once… woke up in a gutter with ketchup in my hair
Well come on let’s face it ev’ryone’s been there..?
All my white wines are spritzers
Drink all my shots with mixers
Never been so drunk that I did things I regret
‘Cos the booze always helps me forget

But I’ve got all this hock for Christmas
What’s my mother gonna say?
I can see us kicking off when
She comes round on Christmas Day
So I’ll get nagged she’ll bend my ear
Then we’ll sulk until New Year
What will get me through?
Plainly all I’ve got for Christmas – my booze!
(Booze baby!)

(All I’ve got for Christmas is booze, baby!)
(I’ve got all this Christmas for booze, baby!)
(I’ve got all this Christmas, more booze baby…!)
* = UK slang term, meaning "drink with the sole purpose of getting as drunk as you can as quickly as you can." Us Brits and our hobbies, eh? ;^)

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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Amanda - December 19, 2012 - Report this comment
I'll be 21 in a couple of years, and you know you just summed up my worry for that birthday, right?
Rob Arndt - December 19, 2012 - Report this comment
555 for creativity again! Aren't we all glad Ahmadinejad isn't singing this song as parody? It would be "No More Existence for the Jews"!!!
Lifeliver - December 19, 2012 - Report this comment
This version would have been a tragically ironic one for Whitney Houston to sing (I have trouble telling the difference between the two). You could be strong and palm it all off, but I find it all gets consumed sooner or later. Standout couplet:
Never been so drunk that I did things I regret/ ‘Cos the booze always helps me forget
Here's another 15 litres of Cabernet Sauvignon. Merry Pissedmas
AFW - December 19, 2012 - Report this comment
Good title switch and follow-thru...
Michael Pacholek - December 20, 2012 - Report this comment
Could be worse. Ask a boy named Sue: "Just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze."
Phil Alexander - December 21, 2012 - Report this comment
Super idea for a title sub, brilliantly executed :-)

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