Song Parodies -> C Is For Cookie

Original Song Title:

"Nookie"

Original Performer:

Limp Bizkit

  
Parody Song Title:

"C Is For Cookie"

Parody Written by:

Matthias

So I'm a little behind the times on this, but I found out that yesterday my childhood friend Cookie Monster is now saying that "Cookies are a sometime food". That got me thinking... What the hell are these PBS people thinking? Cookie Monster eating vegetables?! That's blasphemy! I wondered what the actual Cookie Monster would think about this kind of thing, and so I wrote a parody about it...
Sick!
Mushrooms? Ewwwww!!!!

Me used to be a sugar-hyper Muppet
But kids grew in size
So the lawyer guys took me sweets (guys took me sweets)
Now me munch on grass?! (Grass)
Cookie down the drain (Drain)
Now me have an urn for the snacks that me crave
They! All want me to lose weight (Weight)
Carrots aren’t too great but me ate
Cause writers set me fate (Fate)
Me think “Yuck!” but me need to make the buck
They say “You're a hand puppet so you don’t get to vote”, Lame!

Need to chomp! (Sweets)
Need to chomp! (Sweets)
Need to chomp! (Sweets)
Need to chomp! (Sweets)
Need to chomp! (Sweets)
Need to chomp! (Sweets)
Need to chomp! (Sweets)

Me want a cookie snack! (Tough!)
Me want to eat no wood! (Tough!)
It way off-track… That Cookie Monster now is eating good
Need chocolate chips cause me blue fur is tugged (Begging!)
Can’t eat peppers just instead
No zucchini bread, Yuck!
And me don’t care for a carrot cake
Me even take a toothache
If me could trade plants in today
Me miss the smell of me old pastry buffet
So me cry and munch on this stir-fry

Cause me sing “C Is For Cookie!” (For what?)
“For Cookie!” (Yum Yum!)
Me tired of the broccoli
Me don’t care if kids get (Fat!)
Don’t care if kids get (Fat!)
Don’t care if kids get (Fat!)
Don’t care if kids get…

Cause me sing “C Is For Cookie!” (For what?)
“For Cookie!” (Yum Yum!)
Me have no diabetes
Me don’t care if kids get (Fat!)
Don’t care if kids get (Fat!)
Don’t care if kids get (Fat!)
Don’t care if kids get…

Fed… Me corn on the cob (Yuck!)
So they can keep their jobs! Wimps!
Searched the Sesame Street for a dealer
I need me Tagalongs
Those Thin Mints belong in my freezer
Me so aggrieved when tasting leafy greens (Like lettuce)
Turnips just make me hurl it’s a calamity!
Cause do me look like a panda?!
Told them this was slander fruits couldn’t be blander
Give me that cookie batter! Hey!

Need to chomp! (Sweets)
Need to chomp! (Sweets)
Need to chomp! (Sweets)
Need to chomp! (Sweets)
Need to chomp! (Sweets)
Need to chomp! (Sweets)
Need to chomp! (Sweets)

Hear me scream “C is for Cookie!” (For what?)
“For Cookie!” (Yum Yum)
Me sick of all these berries!
Me don’t care if kids get (Fat!)
Don’t care if kids get (Fat!)
Don’t care if kids get (Fat!)
Don’t care if kids get…

Hear me scream “C is for Cookie!” (For what?)
“For Cookie!” (Yum Yum)
Me need some more Biscotti
Me don’t care if kids get (Fat!)
Don’t care if kids get (Fat!)
Don’t care if kids get (Fat!)
Don’t care if kids get…

Please help me Kermit!
It not easy eating greens, Took biscuits gave me rice
Me can't chew on cookie dough
Me queasier when me stuffed
(Me need snickerdoodles) Me need snickerdoodles, can’t have those
Elmo hears me groan (Me stomach moan)
Give me a scone
Those onions me thrown!

Me can’t put up with change!
Who care me overweight?
At least me don’t drink beer
A sweet tooth is more tame

Cause now me life is strange!
Me fur is turning gray
Pickles fill me up with fear
They isn’t on me plate

What else is gonna change?
Will Bert admit he’s gay?
Will Oscar smile and not sneer?
No letter of the day?

So me cry “C is for Cookie” (For what?)
“For Cookie!” (Yum Yum)
Cause eggplant is so Yucky!
Me don’t care if kids get (Fat!)
Don’t care if kids get (Fat!)
Don’t care if kids get (Fat!)
Don’t care if kids get…

So me cry “C is for Cookie” (For what?)
“For Cookie!” (Yum Yum)
Me gonna catch a Taxi
And leave Sesame (Street!)
Leave Sesame (Street!)
Leave Sesame (Street!)
Leave Sesame…
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Voting Results
Pacing: 5.0
 
How Funny: 5.0
 
Overall Rating: 5.0
 

Total Votes: 14
Voting Breakdown

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User Comments Follow...

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Christie Marie M - July 24, 2009 - Report this comment
LOL at your parody! As sung by Cookie Monster himself! And Cookie Monster eating vegetables is so weird and shocking! It's also hard if you have parents as nurses to control your sugar level. Take 5 Chocolate Chips, 5 White Chocolate Macadamia, and 5 Snickerdoodle cookies!! Oh, and save some for Cookie Monster!
Fiddlegirl - July 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Great characterization in this one! (And Cookie Monster without Cookies? Preposterous!!!)
blackjack21 - July 24, 2009 - Report this comment
I see many years of therapy down the road for Mr. Cookie Monster. Great concept for a parody and nice execution on a long song.
TJC - July 24, 2009 - Report this comment
5 jars o' trans-phatte-laden praise for this sweet morsel!
DJ Blaze - July 24, 2009 - Report this comment
What has modernization done to Cookie Monster, first, he sings death metal, and now, eats VEGETABLES!? Well, Matthias has saved the day. 555
Jeff Reuben - July 27, 2009 - Report this comment
I was really angry when Sesame Street did that. Cookie Monster doesn't need to be nutritionally correct, he's cookie Monster! The only good part is at the end when Cookie Monster decides that now is "sometime" and eats the cookie anyway.
Abbott Skelding - August 10, 2009 - Report this comment
SOTM: Holy crap!! This is the greatest thing I have ever read!! 555 all the way!! excellent job!!
DJ Blaze - August 10, 2009 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I stand by my original comment/rating 100%. Great job, Matt! And the death metal thing I mentioned was a fan-made video of Cookie Monster singing a song by the death metal band Cannibal Corpse.
Medemia - August 10, 2009 - Report this comment
SOTM: Reading this song and listening, it's kinda hard for me to hear Cookie Monster sing this, just because he talks so slow, but it would be fun to try. Me trying it in me Cookie Monster voice. This would be a fun song to try to record. :D
Mark Scotti - August 12, 2009 - Report this comment
SOTM - Wonderful take on the rediculous push for the healthy foods. Let kids be kids!!!
Guy - August 15, 2009 - Report this comment
(SOTM-Aug-09)

Hey I tried to vote and comment on this parody but someone or something ate my "cookies". I had to fix a new batch before I could move on with the V & C. It's all because they force fed the C. Monster. I guess he ate the cookies when I established the link 'tween my 'puter and this parody. Well done Matt - You see there is moe than one way to get your cookies. =;-)
Peter Andersson - August 21, 2009 - Report this comment
Lots of fingerlicking good stuff here with paraphrasing Kermit through "not easy eating greens" as the frosting on the cake. It's a sick PC world, how long before the cookiemonster has to go to the Betty Ford clinic, how long before Krusty the clown gets to have spinach pie in his face", how long before popsicles are outlawed and replaced by frozen bananas? (I've actually tasted the latter in a nutritionally correct context, it went down, barely, and not something I'll advocate).
Leo Keough - August 29, 2009 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I too thought "It not easy eating greens" was the highlight of this one...LOL!!!...A little repetitious, but all in all a great job!!!...555!!!
bobpiecheese - August 31, 2009 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Although I see the logic in the 'Cookie is a Sometimes Food' direction, it is slightly annyoing to see the Cookie Monster getting all of the blame for the obesity rise (I say 'slightly' because I've always preferred Grover myself). 555 for you!
Below Average Dave - August 31, 2009 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I loved the way you maintained the character's voice (so to speak) throughout this song. I am really hardly even familiar with the character--but he is famous enough to where even I am familiar with his speech and vegetable debacle. Nice satire on the issue, I do think you ran out of steam at the end, but it was so funny from the get-go and to a very difficult OS
Phil Alexander - August 31, 2009 - Report this comment
:-D The Cookie Monster is one of those characters I kind of look back on fondly, though with the memory of really not being able to stand the thing back when my children were still watching Sesame Street. An excellent premise for a parody, though: it's almost satire, which is an odd sort of thing to say about a Cookie Monster parody, and very well executed.

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