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Song Parodies -> "Football Games"

Original Song Title:

"Foolish Games"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Football Games"

Parody Written by:

Paul Wooten

The Lyrics

If Jewel had met Lance Rentzle, former Cowboy arrested for indecent exposure in 1979
Opened your raincoat, waggled your manhood
You were always crazy 'bout that
I stared from my window, stepped out of my panties
And flashed you right back

You were always the delerious one
With red eyes and store-bought hair
You were fashionably primitive
But too dumb to care

Now I stand in the doorway
Wearing nothing at all
Except spike heels and a garter

Well lately you fail to notice
Lately you fail to see
I'm standing here naked, touching myself
You're watching the game on T.V.

These, football gaaaaames
Are tearing us apart
Myyy, dead vibrator
Is breaking my heart, breaking my heart

You were only horny in the morning
Roll a blunt cigarette, hump before coffee
Football's an art for old farts and young fools, you love Staubach
And you talk about the Cowboys
As I clumsily stroke my crotch

If you'd teach me these football things
Plays that are daring, which teams to fear
I would buy a Lazy Boy
And start drinking beer

You sniffed my soiled panties
Behind my back
Somewhere along the line
You'd better stop smokin' crack

Excuse me, I'm leaving you for anybody else
And until I find someone
I'll just play with myself


Opened your raincoat
Waggled your manhood
You were always crazy 'bout that

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   2
 5   7

User Comments

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Paul W. - February 17, 2004 - Report this comment
HILARIOUS.....great rhyme for the real ...guitar. I'll use it when I go on stage, thanks!!!
Birgitta - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Hehe... :-D
Diva - February 19, 2004 - Report this comment
This was great! I could just imagine Jewel singing to Lance. Original!
Paul Wooten - February 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Diva, thank u so much!

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