Song Parodies -> Feed By Breast
| Original Song Title: | "Be Our Guest" |
| Original Performer: | Jerry Ohrbach/Beauty And The Beast |
| Parody Song Title: | "Feed By Breast" |
| Parody Written by: | Bob Gomez |
Dedicated to La Leche Leaguers everywhere.
Feed by breast! Feed by breast!
Nursing mothers can attest
It's innately satisfying when your mammary's expressed!
Sit on down, and kick back
'Cause it's time for baby's snack
While the candlelight is glowing
Milk production will be flowing
Whip it out! Pop it in!
And your suckler won't get thin
So there's company--who cares if you're half-dressed?
It's not enough for you
To check for lumps, but do
Please feed by breast, feed by breast, feed by breast!
Feed by breast! Feed by breast!
Hold that charmer to your chest!
Think of all the great nutrition that your offspring will ingest!
Steak and fries! Pork and beans!
Don't forget the mint ice cream!
Everything that you've been eating
Will contribute to this feeding!
They're engorged, bulging out!
Time to fertilize your sprout!
And that let-down reflex helps you when you're stressed!
These cozy tete-a-tetes
Are as good as it gets
So feed by breast (I'm impressed: liquid dining at its best!)
Feed by breast, feed by breast, feed by breast!
.....Memories make me tingle
of the days when we were single.......
Two lost souls without a stroller to our name......
Mainly we explored each other's bodies.......
Those are days we never can reclaim......
Then after we married,
Our routine became less varied......
We had jobs and obligations, bills to pay.......
Then one day you tell me that you're pregnant.....
Nine months fat and lazy
Then at last out popped the baby!
Feed by breast! Feed by breast!
Though society's repressed
Those taboos and inhibitions show we haven't yet progressed
We're such prudes, we're such twits,
When it comes to showing tits!
I consider it our failing
When in Europe jugs are flailing!
Old men stare, children shout
When your boob comes flopping out,
And you fill the infant stomach on request!
It's quite a show to view
Him empty One, Then Two
So feed by breast, feed by breast, feed by breast!
Feed by breast! Feed by breast!
Nursing mothers can attest
It's innately satisfying when your mammary's expressed!
Sit on down, and kick back
'Cause it's time for baby's snack
While his ap-pe-tite you're plea-sing
Your ba-zong-gas he'll be squeeeee-ziiiiinnnng----
Suck suck suck!
Little one!
He's conked out!
Enough! He's done!
And to share this moment we've been truly blessed!
His diaper stinks to hell
But you've done oh, so well
To feed by breast---
Feed by breast---
Feed by breast, please feeeeeed byyyy breeeeast!
Nursing mothers can attest
It's innately satisfying when your mammary's expressed!
Sit on down, and kick back
'Cause it's time for baby's snack
While the candlelight is glowing
Milk production will be flowing
Whip it out! Pop it in!
And your suckler won't get thin
So there's company--who cares if you're half-dressed?
It's not enough for you
To check for lumps, but do
Please feed by breast, feed by breast, feed by breast!
Feed by breast! Feed by breast!
Hold that charmer to your chest!
Think of all the great nutrition that your offspring will ingest!
Steak and fries! Pork and beans!
Don't forget the mint ice cream!
Everything that you've been eating
Will contribute to this feeding!
They're engorged, bulging out!
Time to fertilize your sprout!
And that let-down reflex helps you when you're stressed!
These cozy tete-a-tetes
Are as good as it gets
So feed by breast (I'm impressed: liquid dining at its best!)
Feed by breast, feed by breast, feed by breast!
.....Memories make me tingle
of the days when we were single.......
Two lost souls without a stroller to our name......
Mainly we explored each other's bodies.......
Those are days we never can reclaim......
Then after we married,
Our routine became less varied......
We had jobs and obligations, bills to pay.......
Then one day you tell me that you're pregnant.....
Nine months fat and lazy
Then at last out popped the baby!
Feed by breast! Feed by breast!
Though society's repressed
Those taboos and inhibitions show we haven't yet progressed
We're such prudes, we're such twits,
When it comes to showing tits!
I consider it our failing
When in Europe jugs are flailing!
Old men stare, children shout
When your boob comes flopping out,
And you fill the infant stomach on request!
It's quite a show to view
Him empty One, Then Two
So feed by breast, feed by breast, feed by breast!
Feed by breast! Feed by breast!
Nursing mothers can attest
It's innately satisfying when your mammary's expressed!
Sit on down, and kick back
'Cause it's time for baby's snack
While his ap-pe-tite you're plea-sing
Your ba-zong-gas he'll be squeeeee-ziiiiinnnng----
Suck suck suck!
Little one!
He's conked out!
Enough! He's done!
And to share this moment we've been truly blessed!
His diaper stinks to hell
But you've done oh, so well
To feed by breast---
Feed by breast---
Feed by breast, please feeeeeed byyyy breeeeast!
©Bob Gomez 2003
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User Comments Follow...
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Although this song is kind of...I dunno, something else. I will admit that it was very different. However, this was just perfect with the original, and very funny. Triple fives, dude! It was great
Are you insane!? This is HILARIOUS!!!!!
Wow! You've outdone yourself, Boob. I mean sir.
I'm trying to imagine Lumiere and Cogsworth singing this...it's probably one of the funniest images I've ever put in my head...especially when they're trying to suckle on the Angela Lansbury teapot. Damn you, Malcolm Higgins! You're corrupting me!
You forgot to mention it's nutritional value, man, but Still a 5-er
Totally awesome, Bob. A very impressive parody indeed.
Way to go! A delicious parody. :)
This is the second best parody to this song that I have read...the first is Phil's "Be our guest" at Whatfeaks......great great job though
Yeah, Billy, Phil sets the standard with his version. Can you believe I wrote this before I saw that one? Thanks all, and please do keep playing with my name. It makes me feel all claude and prezzy inside. d;:^)
You're too kind, guys ;-) I have to admit, I've wondered whether to bowdlerise it and resubmit here, but I think it would lose so much... Anyway, for anyone who can't be bothered to search on whatfreaks: http://www.whatfreaks.com/90s/disneythelittlemermaid0.shtml (oops... did I really say 'The Little Mermaid'? And was Jerry Orbach really the voice of Lumiere?)
Definitely belongs on amiright's GREATESTITS.
Phil, to answer both your questions..... yes
This has to be the all time greatest parody ever. I was laughing so hard. If any one can find me a better one, they are truly amazing, because I don't think it's possible. This should be the number one on this site!
Bob had to wait a long time for this one too.. I initially rejected it, I only skim parodies in the morning, and thought it was a bit racey the first time around... and I never got around to re-reading it when he sent it to me (just got buried in inbox)... so when he resubmitted it last weekend, I spent a little more time reading it, and figured it was ok.. I've certainly let worse stuff go through by Malcolm and I'm sure Bob is happy to see all the positive reviews.. so I guess it was worth the wait
Straight 5's from Me. Great work! This is hilarious!
A great addition to the upcoming breast album =) (Boob Operation, Make My Boobies One More Size, etc) I see an amiright award category coming!
This is a masterwork! The pacing is absolutely flawless and the content is hilarious! You managed to fit social commentary, la leche league rhetoric, and gut-busting laughs into it. My wife had five - breast-fed all - and I have to tell ya, she cracked up at this one! Now you have to do a follow-up for those working mothers who have to leave breast milk in a bottle at day care: "Express yourself". . .
My parody Led Zepplin "Whole Lotta Jugs" would be a nice addition also we could corner the entire mammory market.
Amazing Pardoy, I was laughing all the way. 5-5-5 :D
I rate this even better than Phil's and mine. Fantastic!
Best Parody About Body Parts
I don't know how I let this sucker slip by me...this is a riot. Good job man.
Good job! This truly original and fun!!!! Good thing my mother Fed by breast and are you sure it's fun to have your mammories suppressed?
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This is view # 155
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