I know my feet are quite a mess, my toes look more like claws
To cut them off would be best, the nails, not the feet, duh
But I struggle so much with that, comfort's not in sight
The toenail squat does naught but jack up my poor little spine

Toenail squat, this position sucks (not fun for me)
Puts pressure on my belly
Toenail squat, oh, the pose I dread
But without it, look a mess
Toenail squat, this position sucks (you know it's true)
But I could destroy my shoes
So I heave and huff and fume (ooh-ooh), toenail squat
This position sucks, this position sucks

Yeah-eah-eah-eah

Whether I'm sat upon a chair or on the floor, I hate
Forcin' my arms right down there with shakin' scissors, pain
Comes for me even if I don't slice up my feet
'Cause I've got to face the shite smell, turnin' my face green

Toenail squat, this position sucks (damn smelly feet)
It's gettin' so hard to breathe
Toenail squat, oh, it doesn't help
That my chest is squashed as well
Toenail squat, this position sucks (air can't come through)
But I can't go barefoot, true
Looks ugly, I guess I'm screwed (ooh-ooh), toenail squat
This position sucks, this position sucks

This position sucks
This position sucks
This position sucks
Yeah-eah

Toenail squat, this position sucks (the cramps won't leave)
Tried clippers, same problems seen
Toenail squat, oh, wish I could send
For a pro or just a friend
Toenail squat, this position sucks (friends would refuse)
And I wouldn't put pros through
How my feet smell, that's just rude (ooh-ooh), toenail squat
This position sucks, this position sucks, toenail squat