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Song Parodies -> "Sandwich Corps"

Original Song Title:

"Civil War"

Original Performer:

Guns N' Roses

Parody Song Title:

"Sandwich Corps"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

"Corps" is pronounced "core", you know that, right? Anyway, the title for this one just sorta came to me and I worked on it from there. You know, like half of my parodies, basically. The stuff in quotes are said by the (hypothetical) Sandwich Corps leader.
"Look at this one, men: sandwich with no condiments
No sauce, no salt, no cheese
So, you know what we do here, soldiers?
"We make a brand new sandwich!"
That old sandwich?
"We throw that thing where it belongs: in the bin!""

Look at the young men feasting
Look at the women eating
Look at the kids just slobb'ring
A mess like never seen before

Look at the mess they're making
Look at the food they're spraying
Close your mouth when you're talking!
It's spreading all across the floor

Take our advice
Stop eating shit like Coke and fries
Take a walk, do other exercise
What a flabby bod, best start eating right
This is your last greased meal tonight
You're barely fit, you can't deny
Who are we, you ask, with a sparkling eye?
Just healthy guys who side with the Sandwich Corps!

To start your diet plan
Wholemeal bread with ham
You say "Is it still delicious?"

I say yes, we aim to please
That's our policy
Diets suck when they taste yucky

So just take a bite and taste it, man
We got a lot of spreadsheets to keep track of your
Diet, now excuse us
We'll leave them in your hands

There's more lardos to see and
Lend a helping hand

Our job in the Sandwich Corps
We search for people who have diets poor
We're Balanced Diet spreadin' soldiers
Always in a team of four
(It makes sense)
When you're in the Sandwich Corps

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!!!

When your stomach needs filling
Don't go buy food that's dripping
With grease and other bad things
That's why your heart just stopped before

And in your couch don't wallow
Here's a regime you should follow
It may be hard to swallow
You will be thanking us, I'm sure

That's our advice
Nothing you say will change our minds
But if you say no in a way most polite
We will not press on - you have your rights
We would still want you to eat right
We would hope that you will see the light
We won't get all cross if you deny
That's just the way we are in the Sandwich Corps!

"Encourage delicious healthy toppings like mayo
And anything but pickles
No real reason, it's just that I hate them
Though if they don't hate 'em
Don't say that they can't, it's stupid
We look like dicks"

Yes, we are the Sandwich Corps
Now we will leave and you think on it more
You just mull over all your options
We'll back Thursday at 4
(Just to check)
If you need us - the Sandwich Corps

Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum!

You may ask the Sandwich Corps
Why we're called the Sandwich Corps
Well, it's because our sacred founder
Sandwiches he did adore
(Jared Fresh)
So he made the Sandwich Corps

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

We are the Sandwich Corps

We are the Sandwich Corps
Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum yum!

“Dagwood sammich with hot sauce, anyone?”
A "Dagwood" is a multi-layered sammich. Works great with chip sammichs (or "chip buttees" as they're known where I'm from). Props to Matthias for the "yeah" layout, which are always missing in lyrics sheets for some annoying reason. And I did kind of just pinch what he put, but it works for both topics, so whatever. I had to add "Jared" to my Firefox dictionary, what the hell?

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - September 23, 2010 - Report this comment
You know how you could really thank me? Make me a sandwich! Haha, This one was great T-Cop it's always fun to see people spoof this song because I'm a big fan of Guns N Roses.
Mark Scotti - October 15, 2010 - Report this comment
SOTM - Your a real "hero" with this one. LOL
Peter Andersson - October 18, 2010 - Report this comment
The Sandwich Corps would have handed out peace in Iraq and Afghanistan years ago...
Below Average Dave - October 21, 2010 - Report this comment
I don't know, I think TCOP this one was above average--but moderately. . .not a lot of LOL moments, the OS (as I remember from parodying it myself) is a dragging song and as such its one of those where almost every line has to punch your gut to keep the laughs coming, good rhyming, good idea, so overall good job
SamuraiMaster - October 22, 2010 - Report this comment
SOTM - This parody reminds me of my Hamburger parodies of Dethklok's Murmaider songs. FIVE-HUT Soldier!
Christie Marie M - October 23, 2010 - Report this comment
SOTM - I can't decide as to whether the song is about Subway or fat camp! Diets require lots of discipline. I need to go on one myself, not to mention working out! Everyone needs a hero, so it might as well be you! You have an appetite for destruction for this one! 5 turkeys, 5 cheeses, and 5 lettuces for your sandwich!
Claude Prez - October 27, 2010 - Report this comment
Heh heh, the word "sammich" always makes me laugh. This looks like a really tough song to parody so definitely good job there.

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