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Song Parodies -> "Flyin' Qantas"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Guns N' Roses

Parody Song Title:

"Flyin' Qantas"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Qantas originally stood for Queensland And Northern Territory Aerial Services, and is Aussie's national airline. Don't know how the hell I came up with the content for this...hopefully not based on a true story.
Gotta get away from all this craziness
Damn, my home is like World War 16
Ev'rybody likes to whinge
Where did I put that syringe?
The only thing that stops them is morphine
I hope that they won't notice me running away
I've got to find the nearest airport
But where should I escape to?
I guess it's time to review
The countries I can go to, but in short:
The where just doesn't matter
But what matters is the how
I've already told you the why
And the what; don't have a cow!
But HOW to get away from this mess?
And I just do not know yet
I usually forget
What I was thinking about then
But not this time
It is too important

It never crossed my mind
That I would take this choice
But there's no time to regret or rejoice
'Cuz ev'rybody conned me
In some form they all have wronged me
Yelled at them so much I've near-
ly lost my voice
So now I've nicked the bike
And all the things I need
My mp3's, Transformers, the lot
But where the hell should I go?
What matters is that I know
I better go now before I get shot

Burst in through the front door
Buy my ticket, find the boarding gate
I'm runnin' 'cross the hard floor
Man, I really hope I'm not too late!
Show my passport to the airline chick
A good seat for the in-flight flick
Hey, honey peanuts! This is bliss!
But I hear you ask "What airline's this?'

Well, I'm gonna be flyin' Qantas
I'm gonna go fly away
I'm gonna go and fly on Qantas
Gonna go place - but anyways
It feels so strange all on my own
But I think it's best to change my tone

I ask the air hostess "When do we leave?"
She replies "When we know all is well"
I guess that answer's okay
Cuz my folks are busy today
And they won't notice I've gone and rebelled
It turns out the left engine needs tuning
Hope I don't go crazy 'fore it's done
I made a paper plane
Hit some guy, didn't cause much pain
So I whipped out my GameBoy
For some handheld fun
The airline hostess comes back
And says "Put that thing away!"
It's time to fly!
Hey wait! Where was I going, Santa Fe?
Or is that just the next stop?
Then do I get out somewhere else? Er -
Oh well, time to stare
At the in-flight magazine thing
While we're flyin' through the air

Can't remember where the hell I'm going
I should've thought to write it on my arm
So was it Barcelona?
Or maybe Arizona?
Forgetting this fact of life could cause me harm
Ah, who cares? The point is that I've run away
Not going back
I know that's a cliche
My friends will catch up to me
Not all at once, that's just too silly
I think the 'rents would notice we've escaped

Solitude is better
When running away from Satan's nightmare
And there's no leaving a letter
To let the 'rents know, they don't care
I know there's nothing left for me
So somewhere far is
Where I'll be
For once I know my life is fine
So once I'm there, drop me a line

Just as soon as I'm done flyin' Qantas
I love their nice airline chicks
I'm feelin' great when flyin' Qantas
Grab some peanuts for the in-flight flick
I know I'll never return home
Unless I forgot to pack my phone

My life's so disconcerting
So running away is my last hope
I knew it wouldn't last
But not before I could smoke dope*
Better buy a brand new place
Where all my friends can have their space
Cuz we're all just normal people
Lookin' for a normal life
But life at home just brings us strife

So we gotta go by flyin' Qantas
We gotta have space to chill
We gonna go and fly by Qantas
Need a life without so much thrill
You know, I think I just remembered
Where I'm going, it's America
Better call my mates so
They know where to land

(Fade out)
Well, I'm bushed. And two thirds from completing all of my All-Request Hour challenges. Whew...*passes out on computer desk*

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   15

User Comments

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Michael Pacholek - July 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Qantas never crashed, and neither did this parody. Of course, if you're telling the truth in your closing comment, you did! Here's a five-course meal for when you wake up: Outback's Bloomin' Onion, Caesar salad, coconut shrimp, the Prime Minister's Prime Rib, and... well, I'm usually full by dessert time, so I don't know what they have.
Red Ant - July 15, 2007 - Report this comment
I'm very impressed, pieman. You have successfully met this challenge, and will likely be the only person in history to parody this very difficult and long OS. A lot of great lines (and you nailed the tricky rhyme scheme), but my favorite would be "So was it Barcelona? Or maybe Arizona?". 555+
Matthias - August 11, 2007 - Report this comment
My favorite mode of transportation, I've also done a song about horrible flights, and you can see that one for my ABC4 round.
Max Power - August 17, 2007 - Report this comment
Qantas never crashes and neither do this parody.555
Red Ant - August 17, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above (about 40k feet!), but "The where just doesn't matter but what matters is the how/ I've already told you the why and the what; don't have a cow!" also stuck out as great writing. Qantas is (or was) the only airline that never crashed: this parody soars high! (the 111 must be from a disgruntled baggage handler...)
Agrimorfee - August 20, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Damn, this must have been a witch to write. It wasn't terribly funny, but you painted an interesting picture of teen rebellion...which fits with the GnR song nicely. I really would like to know what happens to the narrator once he hits land again.
Peter Andersson - August 23, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - The only way is up. :-)
Kristof Robertson - August 28, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Great stuff, of your best. Not LOL funny, but some excellent rhymage and story telling. And being an Aussie myself, I'm also slightly biased...;-) Bravo! 555
Phil Alexander - August 29, 2007 - Report this comment
What Kristof said (apart from the bit about being an Aussie)
stuart mcarthur - August 30, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) well, a weird film clip, bobpie, but a massive effort covering this OS (that's what challenges do to you) - I think we've all been on a Qantas flight and been unsure whether we're heading to Arizona or Barcelona - and I think Kristof's cousin wouldn't care where she was going (sorry matey!) - 555 for the entertaining read bobpie
wannabemustangjockey - August 30, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - Wow... umm... interesting. Not sure what else to say...
Jack Wilson - August 31, 2007 - Report this comment
Thatw as awesome! 5s
Below Average Dave - August 31, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Hmmmm. . .Conq. . .Um. . .This looks like a huge effort. . .I think your pacing was pretty spot on, and your rhyming was pretty solid, but something about it. . .it just wasn't my favorite by you--of course having to squint to follow along because of the way the OS is sung didn't help, but the Massive OS (one of many Massive OS entries this month) gets you kudos. . .just don't expect this to be among the ones I record.
Matthias - November 11, 2007 - Report this comment
I'll have to agree with Dave. It sure is impressive, but it's not the funniest you have done, but when you take on a big song like this it's hard to be funny all the way through.
stuart mcarthur - November 12, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC4) "Well, I'm bushed" you say - well, so am I, and that's just from reading this mammoth effort again bobpie - lots of stream-of-consciousness stuff here
Jeff Reuben - November 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Yikes! Tough OS, I enjoyed reading...
Cat - November 14, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC) I've already read this before (but not commented—hm, my memory must be going) but the OS just gives it a totally new dimension. Great work, and nice job maintaining the concept.
Mikey Squirrel - November 14, 2007 - Report this comment
ABC- Interesting parody, though not so much funny, but a great effort on a tough (and long) OS. Good job, Conqueror.

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