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Song Parodies -> "I Think I'm Sterilized"

Original Song Title:

"Welcome to Paradise"

Original Performer:

Green Day

Parody Song Title:

"I Think I'm Sterilized"

Parody Written by:

Below Average Dave

The Lyrics

I will record this one if I can find a good musical accompaniment to go with it, all recordings as always are at for your musical listening pleasure, enjoy. DKTOS Listen to the original here
Dear Master
Can't you hear me crying?
You know I can't speak
and that I love to roam
These pouring tears just keep on forming
That day I screamed after the vet gave me a bone
& I can't make kids oh no!!!!!!!!

Strays all mention when they're in heat, hide behind the gnome
Some say it's cruel, some say it's right
I wanna bark at you and get glands back where they belong
I think I'm sterilized

No I'm not feeling no elation
Another week has passed & no pups of my own
Oh why'd you have to mess with my gear
Don't let Bob Barker tell you on his T.V. show
cause this feelin' really blows

Cruel intentions as they excrete the testes from my bones
Don't think it's wrong, don't feel right
I think I'll make it through this faze cause I only know this home
I think I'm sterilized

(Long Disenchanted but Awesome guitar played by a cat)

Dear Master
Can you see me smiling
I'm feeling better now
That I don't leave my home
It's not as bad as I had first feared
I am so happy now I don't mark the whole town
& I'm safe from all the hoes

Now I mention to the dogs in heat & the cats that roam
Don't feel glum, it's worth the price
Happy now there's no desire to sleep with dogs unknown
Thank Bob I'm Sterilized
Oh Sterilized....

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   17

User Comments

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Matthias - September 21, 2007 - Report this comment
Green Day also makes you think of animal woes apparently Dave, very funny aninal woes. These are too good!!!
AFW - September 21, 2007 - Report this comment
Dog-on good
John Barry - September 21, 2007 - Report this comment
I howled with laughter.
Tommy Turtle - September 21, 2007 - Report this comment
I DK any of your OS today -- DK "Green Day" altogether -- so we're even :-) lol. But anything that nails Bob B. is cool . Well done. 555
Red Ant - September 21, 2007 - Report this comment
"they excrete the testes.." ::o I think you meant "excise", but what you have provides some rather peculiar images, so it's all good. Well done, dude: there's the 5s.
Below Average Dave ( - September 21, 2007 - Report this comment
Thank you everybody, this was so much fun to write too. .so I'm very happy everyone else enjoyed it as much as I did. Red Ant, While excrete is generally referred to as poop, it has/can be used to describe the removal of other things as well from the body (such as Kidney Stones) so the use was intentional, BUT, I like excise better anyway.
Matthias - March 26, 2009 - Report this comment
This dog reminded me a lot of Mr. Garrison because both of them got their junk taken away and both of them want it back. The dog learned to live without having a package, and Mr. Garrison got one from a mouse in a later episode. They're two very similar characters, except that one is a dog and who the heck knows what Mr. Garrison is.
bobpiecheese - April 07, 2009 - Report this comment
(Ages2) A song about a dog getting his bits chopped off...charming. Not what I expected from you, Dave, topic-wise, but still pretty good.
Arwen - April 07, 2009 - Report this comment
AGES..."Don't let Bob Barker tell you on his T.V. show"...LOL! I liked this, Dave...poor little puppies!
Melanie Lee - April 08, 2009 - Report this comment
(Ages) Nice stuff, with a couple of good laughs and a cute ending. 5-4-5. (Maybe it should've been 5-5-5; I was waffling a little on the funny front...oh well...)
Invisible Boy - April 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Did you ever think it's funny that his name is Bob Barker ?
Funny idea Dave. I liked that this had a beginning, middle, and an end. And, I'm all for safe dog sex
Jeff Reuben - April 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Ages--I hate that Bob Barker! Tough luck on the puppies :) Nice job!
Glen S - April 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Damn that Bob Barker. It's good that your staying optimistic, though

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