From the black lagoon you emerged
To gag when you're near me I have a strong urge
People say we have the same parents
But with them I disagree
Wholeheartedly

Three billion other boys would hate to see you
But I have to every day
I really would hate to be you
But I sure pity myself too
I live with you

If one day you go to heaven
Angels will flee to the hot place
Although deadly sins there are seven
You have the sole deadly face

They were all lies my parents told you
About where you had come from
Now I'll inform you of the whole truth
You do not have a human mom
You're from the swamp, yeah

Beauty contests with the Gorgons
And no one else you still would lose
If a bum saw you while drinking bourbons
He'd think you're gross


And there's no doc that will help you
When you ask they run

Beauty contests with the Gorgons
And no one else you still would lose
Your looks could not be saved by bourbons
And I know that
If one day you go to heaven
Angels will flee to the hot place
I'll put a bag over your head and
Then just maybe
Then just maybe
You will become
Tolerable to see