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Song Parodies -> "I Can't Drive"

Original Song Title:

"I Can't Dance"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Genesis

Parody Song Title:

"I Can't Drive"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

I can't stand Genesis. I can't stand Phil Collins. I wish that Concorde flight had been cancelled and he'd never disgraced JFK Stadium with his putrid presence at the U.S. version of Live Aid! Of course, you wanna see a real disgrace, come here to New Jersey, especially here to New Brunswick, home of Rutgers University, and watch people operate their motor vehicles. First, make sure your life insurance is paid up.
Hot sun beating down, burning rubber as you walk around.
Hot sun making you sweat, or is it my driving, haven't got you yet.
I can't drive! I can't park!
My car is weaving on the road in the dark.
I can't drive! I can't steer!
It may be because of my sixteenth beer!

Blue jeans walking down the street.
My bumper's in danger of scraping her feet.
She's got a body under that shirt.
But with the way I'm driving, Hottie's gonna get hurt.
'Cause I can't drive! I can't park!
My car is weaving on the road in the dark.
I can't drive! I can't brake.
Getting on the road, mistake!

Oh, and checking everything is in place.
You never know, cop's looking on.

Young punk trying to race my heap.
Fat guy's honking at me, his horn's going "Beep, beep."
Thick smoke coming from my exhaust.
I never thought my car from inspection would be tossed.
But I can't drive! I can't park!
My car is weaving on the road in the dark!
I can't drive! I can't shift!
Pedestrians get short shrift!

Oh, and checking everything is in place.
You never know, cop's looking on.
A uniformed body with an angry face, uh-oh.

No, I can't drive! I can't park!
My car is weaving on the road in the dark!
No, I can't drive! I can't see!
This is how we drive here in New Jersey!

Now, I must walk.
No, I can't drive.
No, no, no, I can't drive.
No, I said I can't park.
I guess I'll walk.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.6
How Funny: 3.8
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   1
 1
 0
 
 3   2
 1
 3
 
 4   4
 4
 3
 
 5   3
 4
 4
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Meriadoc - May 07, 2003 - Report this comment
I can't stand Genesis or Phil Collins either but I am going to go download the @#*!*&# thing and listen to it so I can vote on this.... See how devoted I am to you, Mikey? ;-)
Alex - May 07, 2003 - Report this comment
I hope you're not against Genesis when Phil was a great drummer and a certain guy named Peter was singing. Anyway, why do a parody when you can't stand Philesis?
Meriadoc - May 07, 2003 - Report this comment
Well, there we go. I gave you a 4-5-5 and now I am gonna go dump that Genesis download and take a couple of aspirin....
Peregrin - May 07, 2003 - Report this comment
I loved it - good job.
Jeff Reuben - May 08, 2003 - Report this comment
Well, I'm a pretty big Genesis/Phil fan (up until this album, actually). Very good parody though, as someone who's driven through Jersey.
Michael Pacholek - May 29, 2003 - Report this comment
Since comments were not enabled, let the third song in our "We Can't Drive" concept album be "Traffic School Dropout!"
Kenknife9 - November 27, 2005 - Report this comment
You Suck!
Barry Wilson JR. - June 25, 2008 - Report this comment
That's a shame, hating Phil Collins. Phooey! I Won't let it change my vote though. 444.

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