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Song Parodies -> "Black Tracks In White Places"

Original Song Title:

"Friends In Low Places"

Original Performer:

Garth Brooks

Parody Song Title:

"Black Tracks In White Places"

Parody Written by:

Tim Mayfield

The Lyrics

Santa's being a little naughty this year...
Blame it all on the soot
That stuck to my boot
I tracked all across their rug
No one is mad now
But they'd have a cow
If they weren't upstairs sleeping snug
Their fireplace flue
Could sure use a crew
Of Mary Poppins' type sprouts
And though I've left gifts
There will soon be a tiff
If I don't get my X-M-Ass out

Cause I've left coal
Dust in some places
That they never figured
Santa's face is
Prone to go
Oh, but soon they'll know

And I'm too rushed
To clean this mess up
I've got to come clean
Santa needs to 'fess up
Cause I've left black
Tracks in white places

The time on their phone
While try'n to phone home
Will soon show up on their bill
Their freezer is nice
Got plenty of ice
Cold beer to give my gut a chill

The good stuff's been stashed
Their cellar's been trashed
I'm surfing the 'net
But who cares?
There's plenty of proof
Leading straight to the roof
Next time I think
I'll take the stairs!

Cause I've left tin-sel
in suitcases
No telling what I'd give
To see their faces
Come the morn
With their looks of scorn

So I'm no fig-ment
Of Christmas season
You had better be good
I don't need a reason
To leave black coal
Prints in white places

Well, I left beard hair
In the gravy
And I know it seems
That I've gone crazy
I might be nuts
Or maybe just a klutz

I've left my mark
This giving season
I'm holiday'd out
Now it's Christmas treason
Won't make amends
For tracks in white places

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   12

User Comments

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Jack Wilson - November 29, 2006 - Report this comment
Only know the OS cause off Spaff's parody ,but this was still awesome!
AFW - November 29, 2006 - Report this comment
Top job here...great idea
Agrimorfee - December 11, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I hear a lot of comedy Christmas tunes, but not one has ever examined what Santa does once he enters the house (besides doing the nasty with the lady of the house). Very original!
Cat - December 19, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Santa as a slob? Great! And the "X-M-Ass" was just brilliant.
Max Power - December 22, 2006 - Report this comment
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - December 25, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM - I must have a Christmas hangover or something, I truly expected this to be about skidmarks in white underwear! Bad thoughts, I'm already disqualified from presents next year.
bobpiecheese - December 26, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) What Jack said. And that was just HILARIOUS! Imagine if that's what happens to the naughty children!
Kristof Robertson - December 27, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Bravo for coming up with such an original idea, and making it absolutely hilarious to boot! 555+
tomario - December 28, 2006 - Report this comment
original idea and funny too ! 555
Matthias - December 28, 2006 - Report this comment
Oh Ho No!!!
Jack Wilson - December 28, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM)Loved it!
Michael McVey - December 29, 2006 - Report this comment
Original idea and funny!---MM
wannabemustangjockey - December 29, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM - I believe they made a movie about this, it was called "Bad Santa". Oh wait, that's something different...
Stuart McArthur - December 29, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) well of course! Santa HAS to have a dark side like all of us - very good point Tim - hilarious angle and very "Bad Santa"-ish (the movie that is, which I love) - and why noone's ever pointed out that there must be soot issues with all Santa's chimney action beats me - 555 - PS: loved the couplet "There's plenty of proof... Leading straight to the roof"
Johnny D - December 30, 2006 - Report this comment
Whaddaya get when you cross a chimney sweep with a mime?
Red Ant - December 30, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Funny work, Tim. I, too, loved the "If I don't get my X-M-Ass out" line, as well as the (possibly unintentional?) double entendre of "There's plenty of proof." 5s
Phil Alexander - December 30, 2006 - Report this comment
Have to add my voice to the "X-M-Ass" line celebration, too :-D
The Charnstar - December 30, 2006 - Report this comment
The title confused me, but great parody. I loved the X-M-Ass line, cracked me up. 5-5-5
Glen S - December 31, 2006 - Report this comment
Brilliant, and excellently topical. It's just the right part of the season for this parody. Brilliant, I say. Fave parts: "You had better be good/I don't need a reason" and beard hair in the gravy.
Tim Mayfield - March 20, 2007 - Report this comment
Johnny D,

Chalk in a Box?
Al Jolson?
Quiet Riot?
Dust in the Wind?
A trained achoo achoo?
A loon with a flue?
The silent treatment?

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