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Song Parodies -> "Painless"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Garth Brooks

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Tim Mayfield

The Lyrics

Just been seeing that old friend of ours the dentist...
"Well it's painless"
"I would only tell the truth"
"Just relax and I will drill the tooth"
"It shouldn't hurt at all"

But I'm sitting
Here and I'm too scared to breathe
Soon as that drill bit hits the teeth
Then you can hear me start to bawl

Owww!! Haven't you ever heard of novacaine?
Jab that needle in until I can feel no pain
Better get busy, stick it inside
Wiggle it 'round till I'm numbified

It's painless?
Why don't you get in the chair?
Tell the truth I think it's only fair
Since you charge enormous fees

Now I'm bleeding!
Doctor went and hit the vein
I think doc and nurse are both insane
They just left me here to bleed

I've been under the knife but never found
Any dental office wearing bloodstained gowns
Well you know that I should have run but I had no clue
Till they started work on my tooth

I have never had anyone cause this much throbbing in me
Feeling more pain than anyone's ever known
When I first checked in they came across so innocently
Tried so hard to get me reassured
Well now they've really hit a nerve
It's not painless!!

You know I shouldn't have tooth fragments in my lung
Nor the blood squirting out the tip of my tongue
Now my palms are bruised from my clenching fists
Cause I've never been in pain like this
My blood's on their hands

It's painless?
Feels like they did root canals
And even though they heard me howl
I just gotta let them know

It's not painless!!
Painless would put me to sleep
And you wouldn't hear me make a peep
I just wanted you to know


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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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John Barry - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Listening to Garth Brooks is worse than a wisdom-tooth extraction with no anesthesia, but this parody was most enjoyable.
Royce Miller - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
I got a two for one here, your parody and John's comment
Arwen - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
I honestly WAS at the dentist today...and it honestly WASN'T painless. Ugh. This parody was, though...thank goodness...=)
Tim Mayfield - March 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks John, Royce and Arwen.
Red Ant - March 06, 2005 - Report this comment
I must abstain from voting as there are almost no country songs I like ( and I haven't heard this one ), but John nailed it dead on, if there is a "Hell" they will play for eternity either A: country music ( or if you like country music they will play rap ) or B: The song "It's A Small World". Went to Disneyworld once and that was the longest damn 4 minutes of my life.
Tim Mayfield - March 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Red Ant. Funny enough, the song is written by Billy Joel.

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