Two dieticians racing for the pub at closing time
both of them so hungry, for pork scratchings
Locked in after hours for a meat pie and a pint
but they're so ravenous, that food's distracting

their's is to eat, any old meat
they're just waiting, for pies with beef in

Into the microwave, for a radiation heat
Leave for a minute here, and down your beer
wanting a ham sandwich, but there only getting beef
both in the toilet now, with diaorreah

their's is to eat, any old meat
they're just waiting, for pies with beef in
their's is to eat, any old meat
they're just waiting, for pies with beef in