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Song Parodies -> "Kiss This! (Hey IRS)"

Original Song Title:

"This Kiss"

Original Performer:

Faith Hill

Parody Song Title:

"Kiss This! (Hey IRS)"

Parody Written by:

Spaff.com

The Lyrics

I don't want no April 15th
I don't need another judgment day (no)
Anything the good Lord giveth
Uncle Sam he
Taketh
A-way
'Cause Big Brother's got a big debt
Baby, guess who has to pay?

It's the way you mug me
It's unspeakable pain
It's a personal washout
Down a bottomless drain
It's abhorrently taxing
It's (uhhnn) believable

KISS THIS! KISS THIS!
Hey IRS -
KISS THIS! KISS THIS!

Doing taxes ain't so scary
Simply add up what you made (oh)
Take it to the actu-ary
Where he sub-tracts
The tax
You've paid
Then you mail in twice the difference
Plus a check for Medicaid

It's a Form 1040
It's a penalty clause
It's inscrutable worksheets
It's nonsensical laws
It's unspendable income
It's (uhhnn) deductible

KISS THIS! KISS THIS!
Hey IRS -
KISS THIS! KISS THIS!

You can tax me on my taxes
Then you tax the funds that remain (oh)
You can tax me on bikini waxes
For a jolt of similar pain (ow)
Slap on sadistic audits
Don't let anything pass
You've bent me over
So kiss - my - ass - ets

It's the way you mug me
It's relentlessly lame
It's aggressively wasteful
This unwinnable game
It's unsportsmanlike conduct
It's (uhhnn) depreciable

KISS THIS! KISS THIS!
It's criminal
KISS THIS! KISS THIS!

Kiss - my bottom line there, baby
Kiss - my bottom line there, darlin'...
2004+ Spaff.com

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 27

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2
 2
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 1
 0
 
 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   24
 23
 24
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Arwen - February 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Great job, Spaff!! If I had no other reason to be happy to leave Zion...I'm glad to get away from the state income tax...it's like a double whammy down there!! 5s!
Rick D - February 11, 2004 - Report this comment
There's one hill that doesn't inspire faith. Capital Idea!
Claude Prez - February 11, 2004 - Report this comment
I was gonna try to list my favorite lines but I might as well just cut and paste the whole thing; anyone who doesn't know the original should download it or just read it anyway. Any plans to record? As usual I feel unable to adequately express how good this is.
Joelle - February 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Well done!
Diva - February 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice to see you have'nt lost your comical touch. Touche Spaffy!
Jack Wilson - February 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Great job, Spaff! LOVED it! 5's! BTW Spaff, Im going to Utah for the weekend, so do ya know if any stores there have Elves Gone Wild?
Birgitta - February 13, 2004 - Report this comment
It's reading great stuff like this that inspires me! Really,really good.This place has been keeping me in stitches... = ) Thanks for sharing it. TC
Spaff.com - February 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanx, Ms. Evenstar & RAD & Joelle & Birgitta (welcome!) & Diiiva (welcome back!)

C4P: I'm hopin' Robert will recruit Chelsi (who did the female vocals on Elves Gone Wild) and record this before Tax Day. Of course I'll keep you posted.

Jackie: Sorry - Didn't see your question until just now. I was out of town for the weekend too. Yes, you can find the CD in the music chain stores in Salt Lake (e.g., Media Play) - or at least you could at Christmas time. It's cheaper online, however - only $9.99 at www.elvesgonewild.com. Thanks for the compliment.
Serafina - February 19, 2004 - Report this comment
I actually voted on this parody last week but didn't comment; I thought it was pretty cool. Nice job, Spaff!
... - February 20, 2004 - Report this comment
I liked it too!
Spaff.com - February 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Serafina & Ellipsis.
Jeff Reuben - March 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent!
Spaff.com - March 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Gracias, Jeffaroo!
HERE'S THE RECORDING - April 13, 2004 - Report this comment
http://www.spaff.com/poesy/kiss_this.html
Leo Jay - April 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Damn, this rocks!
Know 1 can hear you dream - April 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Loved the line about taxing bikini waxes. Politicians pay FAR TOO MUCH interest in what pps have in their pants anyway.
Spaff.com - May 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanx, Lee OJ & Peter chyd. There may yet be a female-vocal version of this. I'll keep y'all posted.
Ducky - May 03, 2004 - Report this comment
it was funny, but stupid
Johnny D - May 03, 2004 - Report this comment
In my own parody book, "Stupid" = "Good", and "Extremely Stupid" = "Even Better". This one qualifies on all counts....ingeniously intelligent utter stupidity....that's what I like to see on Amiright!
Pincksnowflakes - May 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Ducky (aka- shelly), grow up, this was great! you little people have no idea of what yr talking about. it's awsome! 11 year olds don't know anything.
Spaff.com - May 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanx, Pinck & Johnny Dangle, both for the compliments and the attempts to spin the criticism.
Wife of a thug - June 04, 2004 - Report this comment
This is awesome! Great job! It's funny and it's got a lot of truth in it too. Also, I like the recording, it's kick ass and you sound great!
Spaff.com - June 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanx, Mrs. Thug. I'll pass that along to the lovely and talented Robert Lund.
Billy Florio - August 04, 2004 - Report this comment
voteing double
K1chyd - August 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Restoring 5s. My own wrestling with the IRS (I know what the abbr means) may not be my proudest moment, but I got to put in my favorite english word: Gazillions in it:

http://www.amiright.com/parody/2000s/roxette0.shtml
Spaff.com - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Gazillions of thanx to Peter chyd & Billy!
Counter - October 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Now here's a truly bipartisan song! Best of all, it's a perfect song for anyone mooning the IRS.
Spaff.com - October 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanx, Counter. Even if you accused me of being bi.
Cryptic Wizard - August 27, 2005 - Report this comment
The title of the original song was just begging for a parody by this title--I'm surprised nobody else thought of it before you (I did, but never actually sat down and wrote it). Anyway, the IRS twist to it was pure genius. 5-5-5
Tim Hall - August 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Holds up well after all this time!
Spaff.com - September 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanx, Cryptic Wizard and Tim Hall. And Tim: So do you, from what I've heard.
Vin Miskell - November 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Perfect parody--all 5s. Unfortunately, I forwarded "Kiss This" to the IRS, thinking the people there would really have fun with it--but their idea of fun is to review your tax returns from 1997 through 2004. Sorry--hope you survive the hostile audit.
DAMMIT! - December 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Why did someone spoil the barrel with a triple-one vote?! >:(
Spaff.com - July 16, 2006 - Report this comment
Vin: I wish I had seen your comment earlier - it would have given me more time to HUNT YOUR ASS DOWN.

Dammit: I did that myself in hopes of getting a comment from you. I see that it worked.
Leo J - December 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Just heard the OS, and of course thought of this, so I had to look it up again. Classic.
Spaff.com - December 09, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanx, Lee OJ. Good to hear from you again. And if I haven't mentioned it, there's a new recording of this with lead vocal by Michele Davis on the NEW ROBERT LUND CD "POLITICKED OFF!"
www.politicked-off.com
Thank you for giving me an excuse to plug it.
illuminated - April 15, 2009 - Report this comment
Simply brilliant. Both timely and timeless; wonderful!
k less - June 06, 2009 - Report this comment
its actually good to pay taxes because i dont want the government telling me what to do and owning everything
Spaff.com - June 27, 2009 - Report this comment
illuminated: Thank you! Many happy returns! (Ha.)

k less: I know exactly what you mean. I buy Microsoft products because I don't want Bill Gates to get any richer.
Mom - April 03, 2010 - Report this comment
I agree with EVERY word!!!
Spaff.com - April 12, 2010 - Report this comment
Me too. Hi, Mom!

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