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Song Parodies -> "My Name Is... Santa Claus"

Original Song Title:

"My Name Is"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Eminem

Parody Song Title:

"My Name Is... Santa Claus"

Parody Written by:

Aaron Hong

The Lyrics

A severely-delayed sort of followup to my last Christmas song you can read here. It was also written for my TransFans message board, hence the mention of Botcon (a Transformers convention) but I figure the rest of it should go over well, particularly with the Eminem fans out there.You're still out there, right?
Hi! My name is (what?)...my name is (who?)... my name is... Santa Claus
Hi! My name is (huh?)...my name is (what?)... my name is... Santa Claus
Hi! My name is (what?)...my name is (who?)... my name is... Santa Claus
(Ahem...excuse me!)
Hi! My name is (huh?)...my name is (what?)... my name is... Santa Claus
(Can I have the attention of the world's children for one second...)

Hi kids! Do you like Christmas gifts? (yeah yeah yeah!)
Wanna see me put my elves on 24-hour shifts? (uh huh!)
Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (yeah yeah!)
Try roast elk and gain weight worse than I did? (huh?)
My sleigh's over weight, I'm tryin' to get my ride straight
But I can't figure out which reindeer is ready to mate (what?)
Father Time said: "Santa Claus, you a basehead."
Uh-uhhh! "Then why's ya face red, man you wasted"
Well since age 12 I've felt like I'm someone else
Cuz my original self was trampled by picketing elves
Got pissed off and ripped the mistletoe off
Got drunk and dozed off and the wind froze my toes off
I shimmied down my first chimney and fell on my ass
Faster than a fat deer who's ass-high on grass
I'm thirsty! (Santa, wait a minute, that's my egg nog!)
I don't give a crap, God sent me to piss grownups off

Hi! My name is (what?)...my name is (who?)... my name is... Santa Claus
Hi! My name is (huh?)...my name is (what?)... my name is... Santa Claus
Hi! My name is (what?)...my name is (who?)... my name is... Santa Claus
Hi! My name is (huh?)...my name is (what?)... my name is... Santa Claus

These kids wanted to sit on my lap in junior high
Only problem was, the youngest of these kids was 29
I broke a candy cane on his head
Smacked his friends with nut bread
And sat on him till his fingers turned red (Owwwwwwww!)
Walked in on Botcon, had my red coat on
Turn my head for a second and my toy sack was gone (Wsssshhhhh...)
They say I'm imaginary, like the Tooth Fairy
The Easter Bunny's hairy, but they scream "Look, it's Drew Carey!"
99% of my life I was lied to
I just found out my wife does less work than I do
I told her I'd get a job workin' one day a year
Only catch is I gotta gain weight and grow a beard (Yeah right)
You know you blew up when the kids rush the mall
To talk with your impersonators with wish lists ten feet tall (Aaahhhhhh!)
This kid's dad told him he can only get one video game
So I signed it: 'Hey Dad, you're on the Naughty list, L@M3R!

Hi! My name is (what?)...my name is (who?)... my name is... Santa Claus
Hi! My name is (huh?)...my name is (what?)... my name is... Santa Claus
Hi! My name is (what?)...my name is (who?)... my name is... Santa Claus
Hi! My name is (huh?)...my name is (what?)... my name is... Santa Claus

Stop the tape! This fat slob needs to lose some weight! (Get him!)
Father Time, don't just stand there, stop the sleigh!
I'm not ready to go, it's too scary to fly
I'll have to be carried inside the sleigh and hauled stateside
Am I comin' or goin'? I can barely decide,
I just drank a fifth of eggnog...dare me to ride? (Go 'head.)
All my life I've been sleep-deprived
I've been making lists for years, my paunch is too hairy to hide
Clothes size with more X's then Christy Thom
My waistline is gone, Feds keep scannin' my ass for bombs
When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits
WHERE'S MY ROAST ELK MOM?! WHAT'S WITH THIS MILK 'N' BITS?!
I lay awake 'cos I can't get out of bed
They put me in a reindeer harness and pulled their hands red
I'm too damn fat (Arrrggghhh!) And by the way when you see my dad? (Yeah.)
Tell him that I hired a mutant reindeer, his nose glows a tad

Hi! My name is (what?)...my name is (who?)... my name is... Santa Claus
Hi! My name is (huh?)...my name is (what?)... my name is... Santa Claus
Hi! My name is (what?)...my name is (who?)... my name is... Santa Claus
Hi! My name is (huh?)...my name is (what?)... my name is... Santa Claus
More of my song parodies here: Request Corner at TransformersHomage.com

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   6
 4
 4
 
 5   5
 7
 7
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

M-Dawg - July 30, 2004 - Report this comment
well that was dumb.
The Thought Police - July 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Not dumb,but horribly mis-timed (and pretty funny!)444
Michael Pacholek - July 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Naughty AND nice! On the 31st day of July, this parodist gave to you... five points amounting!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Not bad at all, as aforementioned the pacing was a bit up the North Pole at times but some good humour throughout. 444 Here's one in a similar vain that I did back in April: http://www.amiright.com/parody/2000s/eminem157.shtml 'Christmas' to the tune of 'Business'.
kenny wilds - June 27, 2006 - Report this comment
that was kool but the one i heard was a pot head song and it went something like this ...........HI kids do u like cannibis do u wanna see me pack a fat bowl and smoke out of it . wanna copy me and be a serious pothead and say things like dink skunk booda roach reefer and nugget well something like that
Cody Slusher - March 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Cool, Making a sequel to the real slim santa. LOL :)

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