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Song Parodies -> "My Name Is (TML Redux)"

Original Song Title:

"My Name Is"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"My Name Is (TML Redux)"

Parody Written by:

Slim Schwabby

The Lyrics

When Corey Schwab played as backup for the Toronto Maple Leafs, I thought he was GOD. So, I immortalized it in song form! Enjoy!
Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name is.. {scratches} Slim Schwabby
Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is.. {scratches} Slim Schwabby

Ahem.. excuse me!
Can I have the attention of the team
for one second?

Hi kids! Do you like hockey pucks? (Yeah yeah yeah!)
I stop em all, even the ones shot by Keith Tckchackujk (Uh-huh!)
Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (Yeah yeah!)
Shut out the NHL and be a fan for all the kids? (Huh?)
My blocker's dead weight, I'm tryin to get my mask straight
but I can't figure out which mask strap I wanna replace (Ummmm..)
And Ed Belfour said "Slim Schwabby you're a bench warmer!"
Uh-uhhh! "So why's your stick bent, man you need defense!
Well since age twelve, I've felt like I'm in need of help
Cause I couldn't beat the original 6 without workin like hell
Got pissed off and ripped all my equipment off
And smacked Hextall so hard I put him outta the post season like the Blackhawks!
I catch a fat pound of rubber and fall on my a**
faster than Nidermayer who got elbowed too fast
C'mere hockey net! (Schwabby, wait a minute, that's CuJo's job!)
I don't give a damn, Quinn sent me to back the team up!


Tampa Bay wanted to trade me in 95
Thanks a lot, my new number will be thirty-five
Pat Quinn never gave me a chance in the NHL
I owned all teams in CuJo's absence, they burned in hell! (Owwwwwwww!)
Walked in the ACC, had my skates laced up
past Keith Acton, and he tried to change the lineup!
Extra-attackers, runnin all over the ice surface
while they all screamin at me: "I GOT A CHANCE!"
Ninety-nine percent is my puck stop percentage
The other 1% is the NHL being aggressive!
I told my mom I'd grow up to be a famous goalie
Make it to the NHL, and play for Tampa B (Oh thank you!)
It's hard to be a backup without any fans
with posters in the stands, but I need me some fans (Aaahhhhhh!)
This defenseman at the ACC asked for my autograph
(Dude, can I get your autograph?)
So I signed it: 'Dear Anders, thanks for the backup, a**hole!'


Stop the game! This game needs to be put away! (Get him!)
Ed Belfour, don't just stand there, stay away!
I'm not ready to leave, I don't wanna be benched (^&%^ that!)
With Belfour back in net, there's another cup that we can't clench!
(Huh yup!) Am I comin or goin? I can barely stay
We can't win with the extra attacker -- dare me to play? (Go ahead)
All my life I was very deprived
Irbe's fists are to small to hide, drop the gloves Irbe I don't mind!
(Whoops!) Equipment ripped like the Incredible Hulk (hachhh-too)
I spit when I drink, I'll fall in love with the rink! (C'mere)
When I was in the AHL I used to get so hungry I would throw fits
Players help encourage me almost like their were my dads
Put a protective vest on and tap myself on the pads (BANG!)
I'm steamin mad (Arrrggghhh!)
And by the way when you see my dad? (Yeah?)
Tell him if he's seen my page in the Leafsport merchandise mag!

Comments? E-mail me

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.9
How Funny: 3.8
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   5

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Shattered Dreams - March 21, 2003 - Report this comment
How can people vote this one? This is an amazing piece of work and to do it on a hard song like this. Good Job Slim Schwabby. RULES!
John Harvey - March 21, 2003 - Report this comment
Whoever flunked this parody needs to go to confession. This is a darn good song!
heather - March 21, 2003 - Report this comment
not much of a hockey fan... but it was perrty good
Michael Pacholek - June 24, 2003 - Report this comment
Speaking as a fan of the team for whom Schwab now plays -- better to never play behind Brodeur and win a ring than to start for the Leafs -- I liked the line about smacking Ron Hetxall. (Where's Bob Ryan of the Boston Globe when you need him?) Niedermayer? Now as many Cups as the Leafs have since 1963! CuJo's job? It's now to choke on some Wings. Good parody, though. Having done it for Jason Giambi, I know how tough this is.
MIKE - November 22, 2010 - Report this comment

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