It lands in the yard
The calling seems sinister
Prob'ly an evil threat
The general public
Hasn't been scarred
By that bird at least not yet

It smells me
The fear that's ever-present
Sweat so much
I fill tap water cups
To get re-hydrated
About five or six
Times between midnight
And the time when the sun comes up

Owl beaks can puncture pillows
Owl beaks can ruin my eyes
Owl beaks are designed to kill so
Owl beaks are why I am terrified

A ringworm's not nearly as scummy
As the bird outside of the glass
They're worse than vultures
Or a big tummy
That is constantly full of gas

Don't tell me, that they deliver letters
If that was true I'd magic it gone
It stays elevated, so even though it's
Shorter than the shadows
Of midgets
I still look upon...

Owl beaks - it found another.
Owl beaks are loud at night
Owl beaks must be hard to smother
Owl beaks will not get out of my sight

And when I go to the door
One is always there with its beak
And that's why I have not
Been present at work all last week

Owl beaks are deadly weapons
Owl beaks - near evil brains
Owl beaks may be short like Pepin
Owl beaks still can cause me lots of...

Owl beaks can puncture pillows
Owl beaks can ruin my eyes
Owl beaks are designed to kill so
Owl beaks are why I am terrified

Are why I am terrified