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Song Parodies -> "Office Work (We Don't Care)"

Original Song Title:

"Be Our Guest"

Original Performer:

Disney's Beauty and the Beast

Parody Song Title:

"Office Work (We Don't Care)"

Parody Written by:

2nz

The Lyrics

I'm back. And I decided to come back with a big-name original. Ya'll have been doing the heck out of this song from what I've been hearing through the grapevine. So just remember, you brought this on yourselves.

Oh, and for non-amirighters and amirighters alike: Good luck with your new desk job.
[Spoken by Assistant CEO]
Welcome aboard
It is with confidence and common sense
That you will serve our customers
And now, take a seat at your desk and relax
As our office proudly presents
The Bull-$#!%

[Supervisor #1]
Off - ice - work
Office care
Office all-day-in-a-chair
Here's your pager, here's your desk
And here's the cubicle you'll share
You will sit
In that square
Eight straight hours so prepare
Our customers' complaining
Is what you will be restraining

[Supervisor #2]
They will curse

[Supervisor #3]
They will fight

[Supervisor #1]
And you'll tell them it's alright
You'll convince them that their problem isn't there
For all unanswered problems
Say "we're working on them"
We don't care
We don't care
WE DON'T CARE

[Supervisor #2]
Go ahead
Sign right here
Our contract makes it clear
If you're late too much or state too much
You won't be working here

[Supervisor #4]
You'll be nice
And polite

[Supervisor #3]
And you'll get out late each night

[Supervisor #4]
Plus the system started freakin'
So you'll have to work the weekend

[Supervisor #2]
You'll get stressed
And depressed
"Cause on lunch breaks, you won't rest

[Supervisor #3]
You'll be running errands for us far and near

[Supervisors #4 and #5]
And your priority
It changes randomly
Now is that clear?

[Supervisor #3]
Get in gear
This job will expand your rear

[Supervisors #2-#5]
Is that clear?
Is that clear?
Is that clear?

[Supervisor #5]
When it's beaurocratic
Things are much less problematic
Many eyes now supervise the things you do
Ah, when supervisors used to do work
Finally, those olden days are through
Now we'll reward your devotion
By delaying your promotion
And we'll say "You're just too good at what you do"
We act and also look a lot like Vogons
Added to that caper
We will NOT return your stapler

[Supervisor #6]
Boot on up
Press display
Wonder why your screen is gray
Straight from hell
Here's your new Dell
And it will crash most every day
It shuts off
Have you heard?
Every time you open Word
Our fax is overloaded
And the printer just exploded
If your screen is ever blue
Our techs will laugh at you
And if they need any parts they'll make you pay
And if you multitask
Oh don't even ask
So, press display

[Supervisors #1-#5]
Press display

[Supervisor #6]
Crash away

[Supervisors #1-#5]
Crash away

[Supervisors #1-#6]
Here's a list
That we tweak
Of how you're allowed to speak

[Supervisor #7]
Seven bosses count your losses
And remind you every week

[Supervisors #1-#6]
Above all
Don't disclose
Just how much our product blows
If you're bad
WE'LL FIRE TRUCKLOADS
If you're good
WE'LL TRIPLE WORKLOADS

[Supervisors #1-#14]
You might swear
You might bitch
We won't care, 'cause we'll be rich
And we'll can your ass before you get your share
Just when you might retire
That's when you we'll fire
And so there
Pension's bare
It's not fare

[Supervisors #1-#14, Board of Meeting Organizers, and Assistant CEO]
But
WE
DON'T
CARE

copyright 2006+ 2nz aka Glen Stollberger

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 32

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 0
 0
 
 4   2
 1
 0
 
 5   29
 31
 32
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jack Wilson - October 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Where was this when Mike Judge was writing Office Space? This is HILARIOUS 555!
TJC - October 10, 2006 - Report this comment
This is great work... funny, funny and.... I haven't thought of Vogons in ever so long!
Claude Prez - October 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Great stuff!! Loved the stapler line especially!!
Jack Wilson - October 10, 2006 - Report this comment
LOL yeah Claude"Umm I blelieve you have my thtapler "
Spaff.com - October 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Wow. Bull's-eye. TMGLTM. And welcome back.
Red Ant - October 11, 2006 - Report this comment
Damn, man, this was awesome. Indeed, TMGLTM, but I need to mention this is the first parody of this song I've seen that substantially deviated from "-est" rhymes throughout, which was a most welcome change.
Stuart McArthur - October 12, 2006 - Report this comment
excellent addition to the Be Our Guest catalogue, 2nz - flawless pacing - 555
tomario - November 09, 2006 - Report this comment
nice pacing nice word play -bad job 555
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - November 12, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM - I hereby assign you with the task for next month to write 31 parodies just as good as this one, though that priority might change randomly.
Matthias - November 15, 2006 - Report this comment
Did you send that form 555 down to the Parody Office? Of course you did
Chris Bodily TM - November 21, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Nice goof on Office Space. Are you planning a Michael Bolton parody anytime soon? This was awesome, man! I love the lyrics, the humor, the pacing is dead-on! This song has been parodied to death, but this one works perfectly. 555
Jack Wilson - November 22, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) You record stuff right? You should record this!
The Charnstar - November 24, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I agree with Jack,this would be great recorded. Now, lucky I work at Toys R Us, I would HATE a desk job.
Red Ant - November 25, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Didn't I already tell you what I thought of this parody? Jeez, get back to work already, Glen! (and watch out for that printer!) ;)
bobpiecheese - November 26, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Oh, geez, that certainly put me off work when I get out of school. Office work that is. Awesome parody, Glen!
Agrimorfee - November 27, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) As Gary Cole said so famously in Office Space, "uh--Yeaahhh!!" But this time, it's sincere. Very good!
Stuart McArthur - November 27, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) see above - well-written BOG parodies are a delight to read and this is right up there with the best 2nz - for some reason I liked "You'll convince them that their problem isn't there" and the stapler line best, and the whole speech by #6 towards the end about the Dell crashing! - funny stuff
Michael McVey - November 28, 2006 - Report this comment
That's Corporate America, alright.---MM
Kristof Robertson - November 29, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Glen, ya old devil: where ya been? A bit of the old Stollberger magic once again graces these pages...loved it!! 555
Phil Alexander - November 29, 2006 - Report this comment
You should send this one to Scott Adams: it has a marvellously Dilbertian sort of feel (and believe me, that's a compliment :-) )
wannabemustangjockey - November 30, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM - Administrivia was never so much fun as this. (Oh, who am I kidding, I've never had a job in my life). What, no references to photocopying one's butt?
Jeff Reuben - November 30, 2006 - Report this comment
Ah, I've been through jobs like this one. Well done!
Tim Mayfield - December 01, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM: Where do I apply? It's got to be better than my job. LOL!
Matthias - March 15, 2007 - Report this comment
Hitchhiker's Guide To Winning Song of the Freaking Year....
Rick C - March 27, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTY) Having worked in an office for more than half my life, I can relate to a lot of what you've said here, Glen. Brilliant write! 555+++
Below Average Dave - March 31, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTY) I hate work, I Hate Work, I HATE WORK. . .and this one really captures that feeling. . .but I love money, so it's a love-hate relationship.

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