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Song Parodies -> "See Your Chest"

Original Song Title:

"Be Our Guest"

Original Performer:

Disney

Parody Song Title:

"See Your Chest"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

My third (and probably final) parody to this song - I know something similar has been done, but I kept coming up with too many original ideas to pass this one up...
Doctor:
Ma chere Mademoiselle, it is with deepest pride
and greatest pleasure that we wake you from your
anaesthetic. And now we invite you to relax, let
us pull up a mirror, as your surgeon proudly presents -
your boob job!

See your chest! See your chest!
More than just by nature blessed
So bend your lovely neck, cherie
I know you'll be impressed
Look at these
Double-Ds
More like Es or Fs or Gs
I can see the sheer elation
On your face post-augmentation
They can swing, they protrude
I hope you don't think I'm rude
But I'm always good and this work is my best
And they're better than new, 'cause
I've done great bazookas
See your chest
Oui, your chest
See your chest

Sticking out
More and more
Guys and gals will all say "phwoah!"
Goodbye lemons, hello melons:
Quite a fruity metaphor
And you've got
Quite a pair
But you need to take good care:
They'll be OK if you're cleaning
But think twice 'fore trampolining
All those blokes turn their head
You could almost wake the dead

Chorus:
A wet T-shirt is a probable request
Come on and have a bevy
Though you feel front-heavy
It's your chest
In your vest
Pammy A is no contest
See your chest! See your chest! See your chest!

See your chest! See your chest!
Go from East to the mid-west
And I'll be blunt with them out front
It will be hard to keep abreast
Himalay-as in bed
Was that in that book you read?
Not "A Tale of Two Cities"
But "The Sale of Two Titties"
See them all reinvest
With increasing interest
As you get your growing assets reassessed
We'll make you shout "encore!"
'Cause we know what's in store
So, see your chest
See your chest!
See your chest!

Patient:
See my chest! See my chest!
Sakes alive, well I'll be blessed!
They're enlarged and now a barge
Could moor between them when undressed
No more tiny and wee
And you know that's fine with me
No relying on just make-up
Now I'm bigger than an A-cup
I'll get boys, men galore
'Cause they all know what they're for
Have you ever seen a brassiere so stressed?
I'll get scores of recruits
With my new attributes
With my chest!

Chorus:
With her chest!
Patient:
See my chest!
Chorus:
See her chest!
See her chest!
See her chest!

Doctor:
Men aren't interested
In women who're flat-chested
They're nonplussed without a bust to gaze upon
Ah, those bad old days when they were little
Surgery! Those bad old days are gone
So we did some stretching
Now they're looking oh, so fetching
The perfect chance for me to use my skills
No more deeply sighing for some cleavage...
No more being lonely
Now they're big and siliconey

Chorus:
See her chest! See her chest!
Oh, we sing it with such zest
It's been years since we've seen anything *that* big
And we're obsessed
A big job, but small fees -
May we have a little squeeze?
And before you think of going
Let us point out what's been growing
Gram by gram, ounce by ounce
'Til they're big enough to bounce
You'll give teenage boys a cardiac arrest
Go out and tell the nation
't ain't all bad, inflation
See your chest
See your chest
See your chest
We see your chest!

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 72

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   8
 8
 8
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   4
 0
 0
 
 4   4
 3
 4
 
 5   56
 61
 60
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Saider E. - October 16, 2004 - Report this comment
ROTFLMAO! You had at "you boob job" good stuff! the pacing was extremely well done.
Arwen - October 16, 2004 - Report this comment
PHIL! This is FABULOUS! I honestly can't pick a favorite line. I kept re-picking...so I could paste my favorite down here...but there are WAY too many. (okay...I'll list a few...Look at these/Double-Ds/More like Es or Fs or Gs...They'll be OK if you're cleaning/But think twice 'fore trampolining...They're enlarged and now a barge/Could moor between them when undressed) I'm DYING! I'd better stop or I'll be here all day.
Know 1 can hear you dream - October 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Looks like we both put the knife in similar subjects today, though you've aimed a bit higher than me, check out my "Not a virgin? Call the surgeon!". I know that you're familiar with the original cos I remember you've stated it as one of your longtime goals to do all the songs of that group. (And you've probably already guessed the original now...)
Ashkicksass - October 16, 2004 - Report this comment
A masterpiece! Like Arwen said, too many funny lines to count, but I loved the trampolining one.
Airfarcewon - October 16, 2004 - Report this comment
A ravishing rage of rhymes..excellently executed
Charles Dickens - October 16, 2004 - Report this comment
All of her! Tits!
neminem - October 16, 2004 - Report this comment
If anything deserved an omg, this would be it. 5'd.
Phil Alexander - October 16, 2004 - Report this comment
:-D

...looks like you've had nearly as much fun reading this as I had writing it ;-)
Johnny D - October 16, 2004 - Report this comment
555...SOTM dude, SOTM... ;-)
Billy Florio - October 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Phil, you seem to know alot about breasts
Ingeborg S. Nordén - October 16, 2004 - Report this comment
It's not every day that I'd rate a risqué song with straight 5's, but this one deserves it: great wordplay and imagery without sounding too sleazy, dead-on pacing, just enough exaggeration and vividness for a good laugh.
Stuart McArthur - October 17, 2004 - Report this comment
hilarious and brilliant - so many greta lines - "And they're better than new, 'cause - I've done great bazookas" - and rhyming more with phwoah - inspired - 555
Stuart McArthur - October 17, 2004 - Report this comment
I know I've already applauded your greta lines in my previous post, but your great ones were just as good
The Thought Police - October 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Still on vacation here-FIVES baby,FIVES! (bye now...)
Claude Prez - October 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Okay, I'll shut up about Spaff now. Commence the Philbo worship.
Johnny D - October 17, 2004 - Report this comment
A mighty Philbo is our god
With bullsh*t notwithstanding


;-)
Phil Alexander - October 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh, give over the pair of you {blush}

Billy, I like to keep abreast of what's in front - mainly by reading Johnny DD's parodies (and listening to track 4 (IIRC) of the Elves Gone Wild CD ;-) )
Will Agrudis Glover - October 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Probably the funniest parody I've read on this site (and I've been reading from this site for over 5 years)! Though I had a bit of trouble fitting some of the lyrics in with the song . . . still, pretty good. Sorry to break your 16 555s, but I'm gonna give you a 455.
Dee Range - October 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Hilarious read, Phil. and even though I don't know this tune, I trust your pacing so high 5's
Steven Cavanagh - October 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Well rounded with a couple of good points. I love BOG parodies :-)8
Madame Estelle Margarita Juanita Angelina Francesca Laoise Siwan Gwynedd Syd Lalene Rhys-Gruffudd IX - October 18, 2004 - Report this comment
This was a hoot...! Those is a lot of fun to play with... songs, that is!
Will Agrudis Glover - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment
I think Be Our Guest is one of those songs which could go with any lyrics, like Under The Sea (see my 'Over To You') or Circle Of Life (see my 'Darth Vader's Voice')!
Phil Alexander - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment
I know what you mean, Will (did I comment on "Over To You"? I can remember reading it) - I'm starting to think of this song as the parodic equivalent of shooting fish in a barrel, rather like Supercalifetc. (this is the second time I've done it in a month, and I've had another couple of ideas since - which I'm going to have to pass up as three's my limit)
2nz - November 03, 2004 - Report this comment
DAMMIT Phil, I'll have to write a 'Be Our Guest' Tribute to you now. When I stop drooling, that is.
2nz - November 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Alright, done now:

He's...
a...
PERV

He's an ass
And somehow he still has class
And much higher sings a quire that's been blessed
With songs from reading lips
to girls with bigger *blip*s
GIve it a rest
No more chest
But I jest
Phil is
the
BEST
Phil Alexander - November 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you, 2nz :-) (just one minor note... that's a "choir", surely as paper don't sing that well?)
2nz - November 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh, well, I meant to... (there isn't really any way I can look smart about this is there?) Well, that's alright, knowledge is fleeting and overrated. Or maybe that's 'fame'...... good parody, man. I'm gonna go take some Advil.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - November 03, 2004 - Report this comment
"You'll give teenage boys a cardiac arrest"...help! I'm flatlining from this brilliance! I might have to redo "See My Death" now that I know who the original was by and have seen the potential this tune can bring. Inspirational work here! TripleDs!
Adagio - November 04, 2004 - Report this comment
SOTM Well, I picked one guffaw line before I got to the rest of the chuckles...REALLY SUPERB!!! "All those blokes turn their head You could almost wake the dead". HEHEHEHE 5's
Guy - November 09, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Bra-vo! Bra-visimo! Titillating!
Ash - November 09, 2004 - Report this comment
SOTM - HILARIOUS
Ktistof Robertson - November 10, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Carelessly overlooked first time...brilliant! 555
Rick D - November 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Can't believe I didn't comment. When I saw this, I printed it out and showed it to Mari. Big laughs ensued
Agrimorfee - November 12, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) You make this so hard to pick 3, Phil. I will pick two of THOSE, however. ;) 555
Melhi - November 17, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) You're really good at writing Pair-o-Ds, Phil! ;)
Claude Prez - November 19, 2004 - Report this comment
WAY out in front. SOTM-wise, I mean. For a list of my favorite lines, scroll all the way to the top.
Arwen - November 20, 2004 - Report this comment
SOTM--this is SO my pick of the month, Phil...I LOVE it...
Stuart McArthur - November 23, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) can't outdo my previous adulation for this one, Phil - just so many funny lines! - fantastic!
martha - November 23, 2004 - Report this comment
my favourite was the clever transposition of sale of two tittie/tale of 2 cities ...excellent!!
Johnny D - November 25, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above!
Peregrin - November 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Good job Phil!
Dee Range - November 27, 2004 - Report this comment
SOTM...see above comment and vote
Spaff.com - November 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Phwoah!
Spectacular. I'll shut up about Claude now. Commence the Philbo worship. (And thank you for plugging the great author Edmund Wells. Do you have Knickerless Nickleby?)
Phil Alexander - November 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Knickerless Nickleby? Do you mean the sequel to "A Sale of Two Titties"?
Hey, spaff - you should know the answer to this one: does being worshipped give any additional income? ;-)
John Jenkins - November 29, 2004 - Report this comment
A lot of great line, particularly "cardiac arrest" and "inflation."
Meriadoc - November 30, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Would love to hear you record this one Phil! :-D
Phil Alexander - November 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, JJ - the "inflation" line was one of those I really had to work at to get in: I originally had it as Gordon Brown (our current Chancellor of the Exchequer) saying "Maybe inflation ain't all bad", but figured that it might have been a bit too cryptic...
Merry - I'd like to, but the only karaoke track I've got for this one has all the chorus joining in, so it doesn't work too well as a parody backing. Hey, Rick... ;-)
Jeff Reuben - November 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Awesome song! You record this, and I'll record Sade =)
Paul Robinson - November 30, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) - don't remember OS too well, but do somewhat...hysterical lines here, Phil...5's...
Jonathan C. - December 02, 2004 - Report this comment
I've never seen a boob writing about boobs until now. J/K, Phil. An incredible job. :D
OCTOBER 2004 SONG OF THE MONTH GOLD MEDAL - December 03, 2004 - Report this comment
http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=3009.0;id=2560;image
Spaff.com - February 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Still love it, Philbo. Belated answers to your two questions: (1) Actually it's more along the lines of "The Amazing Adventures of Captain Gladys Stout-Pamphlet and her Intrepid Spaniel Stig Amongst the Giant Pygmies of Beckles - Volume VIII." (2) Ever been to Vatican City?
2nz - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Fine "CHOIR", then. Jeez... Seriously, still really funny stuff, Phil.
2004 SONG OF THE YEAR - April 09, 2005 - Report this comment
SECOND PLACE (tie)
http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php/topic,8407.0.html
Matthias - July 04, 2005 - Report this comment
Way to many comments to cum up with the breast one, Sorry triple P's.
S.T.G. - April 14, 2006 - Report this comment
(wet t-shirt) Well, it seems you've been abreast the situation for awhile. good un'

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