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Song Parodies -> "Harry Potter's Lullabye"

Original Song Title:

"Mrs. Potter's Lullabye"

Original Performer:

Counting Crows

Parody Song Title:

"Harry Potter's Lullabye"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Well he wakes up early afternoon to hear Mr. Dursley give a toast
It's the fat kid Dudley's brthday party, the kid's brattier than most
His past is a haze, his parents are mere bleary ghosts
He can never escape, he keeps missing the owls' mail post
Well in comes a giant, name of Hagrid, calling out his name
He says "Yer a wizard, Harry", makes the Dursleys feel shame
He's come to take him to Hogwarts, where his name has some fame
And when he comes to that place, you know his life will not be the same

Hey Harry Potter don't cry
Hey Harry Potter, you will fly
And hey Harry Potter, you'll learn wizardry

The depot at the station is not too long--it's not seen
We'll go by train and boat--buy Diagon Alley things
Real soon you will take arithmancy tests and study all about conjuring
And the last guy playing Quidditch has to clean up everything
'Cause when the house elves do come out they forget to put the Bludger in the shed
Oh, and the strange mystical Sorting Hat will sit on tip of your head
To determine if it's Slytherin you're in or Gryffindor sinstead
And you'll learn about that jagged scar on your forehead

Hey Harry Potter-- Weasleys George, Ron, Fred
Hey Harry Potter, i'm not sure but--
Hey Harry Potter-there's Hermione!

There's all the instructions for magical spells from the deep
Then all the crude interjections from Draco Malfoy, the creep
All the coincidences are just a little too neat
Harry's the best Quididitch Seeker, and he speaks Parseltongue in his sleep
He waves his wand into the air, it emits tiny beams
This is all that exposition in the plot of the series
Defense of the Dark Arts is probably not what it may seem
Aw, but wouldn't you like to find out!?
They just might show it to you on that movie screen

Hey Harry Potter, you'll learn
Hey Harry Potter, the'll turn the screw
Hey Harry Potter, you're a wizard, see?

When the bastard Professor Snape throws a fit on the floor
And orders him around
Well, I wonder what he does that for
That's when i know I have to get up and find the restoom door
I never saw a children's film that went 3 hours or more (Yeah)
Don't walk in the forest-- risk dentention or get killed by a Boggart
Hogwarts is a palace and it's constantly changing its stairs and wall art
Now J.K. Rowlings, she's gets the life of a glamourous star
Now she will make a million bucks tonight
Bet she'll buy a brand new car
Yea, she might make a billion bucks tonight
She'll stretch this story out real far

Hey Harry Potter--earned so much
Hey Harry Potter, let's go Dutch now
Hey Harry Potter, lend some cash to me
Copyright 2004, Agrimorfee I am shocked that no one has thought of this before.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   14

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Agrimorfee - March 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Mr. Ones-Man, may you be attacked by a Dementor in your sleep. :(
Arwen - May 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Agrimorfee...I don't know the original song...but I'd love to be able to I'm going to see if I can track it down and I promise to come back. It's a great read, though!
S.T.G. - June 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Good job, it went very well along with the original. ::gives a golfer's clap:: Here, here, good form, good form. ;-)
Rick D - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Man youi got rippoed off in the voting. This was great. JK Rowling is now a BILLIONAIRE!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
It was OK, but it was more of a narration without much witticism. 5-3-3
wdh - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Had to download the original, very well done parody. 5-4-5 - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
DKTOS and I don't know the Harry Potter story (gasp), so I pretty much suck. But "Harry Potter" for "Mrs. Potter" is one of those subs that you gotta be proud of coming up with first.
Meriadoc - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Like the OS, hate Harry Potter, kind of ambivalent about the parody. But obviously a lot of work went into this one. 4-4-5.
Adagio - October 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - October 13, 2004 - Report this comment
(SCI-FI) After reading it again, I stand by my comment that it could have been funnier, but I'ma give it 4 overall.
Phil Alexander - October 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Very well-worked, Agrimorfee. I've always found it kind of surprising that JKR has become so incredibly rich and famous for reusing other people's ideas so successfully...
Guy - October 16, 2004 - Report this comment
(SCI-FI) DKTOS and I have never been able to get into Harry Potter. I can still see that a lot of work went into this parody just the same.
Johnny D - October 16, 2004 - Report this comment
(Sci-Fi/Fantasy) I like Hermione's rhymey.
Jeff Reuben - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment
At some point, I really need to read the books or see the movies, it's the kind of thing I would like (so I've heard).
Paul Robinson - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment
(Sci-Fi) Well, at least I'm not the only one who is DKTOS on both the OS and Harry Potter. But when they get the electricity hooked up to this "No-Current Culture Cave" I seem to reside in I promise to check them out...
2nz - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice one, Hagrid-morfee. Good job hitting almost everything in the first movie. The final stanza was my fave, especially:

That's when i know I have to get up and find the restoom door
I never saw a children's film that went 3 hours or more (Yeah)
martha - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
very impressive and intricate piece of writing... must have taken some work... great one ....5s
Kim West - January 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Well it seems I get to have a look at one of your songs. Let's see where to start…not familiar with the song, but everything seems to flow fine. There are some very minor things that are not quite right about the song concerning the books, but they are so small that I should think that overall voting would not be effected. Generally speaking, it is clear that you are a fan of "Harry Potter" and so five owls for pacing, five chocolate frogs for good material (not necessarily for being funny), and five points awarded to Gryffindor for your overall effort.
Luke Brattoni - December 04, 2005 - Report this comment
(HP) Ha! Great work! Loved the restroom line and the rhyming of "constantly changing its stairs and wall art". A fine Potter synopsis.
Tim Mayfield - December 05, 2005 - Report this comment
(HP) Very well done. "he speaks Parseltongue in his sleep" (and when he's awake he just don't know it yet.
Jeff Reuben - December 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(HP) See above...and now that I've read the books, great job!
2nz - December 09, 2005 - Report this comment
See above... Hagrid-morfee. Still enjoy the last stanza most. What's worse: detention, or a killer Boggart?
Guy - May 30, 2009 - Report this comment

I commented on this during the SCI-FI competition back in Oct 2004 and sad to say I still know little or nothing about Harry Potter and probably never will. HP is just not my cup of tea. I think I entered the SCI-FI round of that competition It's been so long now I can't remember. Wish I could appreciate this but alas my limited knowledge on the subject leaves me lacking. Judging from the comments though you did a fine job on this.
Matthias - June 09, 2009 - Report this comment
Some spelling errors and it wasn't all around hilarious, but I love Harry Potter and this song was catchy so good job anyways.
bobpiecheese - June 10, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC5) I know absolutely nothing about Harry Potter, and nearly nothing about Counting Crows (I know two songs by them: one's a cover, and the other isn't this one). Soooo I can't really say anything here. Ah well.
Below Average Dave - June 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Well, I am familiar with "Harry Pothead" and find the series to be rather engaging (once you are in you can't get out--it's addictive like Beyonce dancing around in leotard) So fun song, I won't say that I got huge laughs out of it buddy--but damn if I didn't really enjoy it anyway.
Stuart McArthur - June 11, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) gee I'm behind the eightball here as I know nothing about Harry Potter and this parody needs me to - also don't know the OS - so I have to go on trust here - the amount of detail you put in warrants 5s alone, Ag - 555
Melanie Lee - June 11, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) I love the subject matter, and I like how you crammed in all those references. However, I had a hard time following the pacing; I suspect you put in some extra syllables and skipped others, and put in some wrong accents. I'm tempted to give you a 3 there. The parody was amusing but not really funny. 4-4-4 and a class in Remedial Potions with Snape!
Jeff Reuben - June 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Five years after my last comment, I've read ALL the books, and get much more out of this than I did when I read it five years ago. Great job, and thanks for bringing it back when I can appreciate it.

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