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Song Parodies -> "Hamster's Paradise"

Original Song Title:

"Gangsta's Paradise"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Coolio

Parody Song Title:

"Hamster's Paradise"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

As I walk through the tunnel where I store all my food
I take a look at my life and realize it's pretty good
Cause I've been eating and running so long that
If I had one, you would say my mind is gone

But I ain't never been "crossed" with a mouse or a gerbil
A hambil or gerster, you know that's unheard of
You better not think o' quibbling or else I'll be nibbling
Fingers through the bars that may be yours or your sibling

All I do is eat, eat more and then run
Though it's fun to run and run people say I'm a dumb fool
I'm the also-rat the little hammies wanna be like
On my wheel thru' the night
By the Christmassy tree light


I been spending most my life
Living in the Hamster's Paradise
Long as that cat stays outside
In here is a Hamster's Paradise

Doing nothing's with our lives
Living in the Hamster's Paraside
Never feed me sprouts or chives
Living in the Hamster's Paradise


Look at the food I'm stashin' it's my one true passion
My biggest kind o' treat is a pile of food to eat
So when I go to sleep, then all that I dream
Is 'bout a great big stash o' nuts that's bigger 'n me

You know I stash my food 'cause my life's biggest horror
Is eatin' lots today and havin' nothin' tomorror
I'm a locked-in hamsta, a happy camper
And a thousand times over, well, I'm a great-grampa - fool

Death ain't never but a few days away
But I got no conception of that, don't care anyway
Can I remember anythin'? I'd have to say "no", but
At least I get away with shittin' over the flo'


Is there more than this? -- Why'd I exist
Just to eat and drink, and run and piss?

I been spending most my life
Living in the Hamster's Paradise
I been spending most my life
Living in the Hamster's Paradise

Think I might have said that twice
Living in the Hamster's Paradise
A lack of memory's rather nice
Living in the Hamster's Paradise

Water, food and running, running, food and water
Found a fertile female, now I got a daughter
A daughter and another, wait for just a year
And I got twenty-thousand grand-child-e-ren here


You cannot make me learn, 'cause nobody can teach me
Once I'm behind the piano, ain't nobody can reach me
I said I can't -- maybe I won't
I ain't no squirrel, all you see is simply I don't - fool


I been spending most my life
Living in the Hamster's Paradise
I been spending most my life
Living in the Hamster's Paradise
I been spending most my life
Living in the Hamster's Paradise
A bad memory's rather nice
Repeating the Hamster's Paradise


Is there more than this? -- Why'd I exist
Just to eat and drink, and run and piss
Is there more than this? -- Why'd I exist
Just to eat and drink, and run and piss

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 1
 0
 
 5   14
 14
 15
 

User Comments

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alvin rhodes - December 23, 2005 - Report this comment
funny concept
Michael Pacholek - December 23, 2005 - Report this comment
You're the big wheel today.
chloe1251 - December 23, 2005 - Report this comment
That is hilarious! I love it!
Martha - December 23, 2005 - Report this comment
best one today good going Phil!!
John Jenkins - December 23, 2005 - Report this comment
A lot of good lines, particularly the "quibbling/nibbling/sibling" couplet, and the cat line.
Red Ant - December 23, 2005 - Report this comment
What JJ said, but "tomorror" was a bit of a groaner amongst total hilarity. Thnakfully this didn't go the direction of the Khyber pass either.
Rick C - December 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Great story, funny as hell. 555
Vas the Man - July 28, 2007 - Report this comment
This song is awesome! My nickname for my wife is "hamsta", and she laughed out loud when I rapped this for her!

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