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Song Parodies -> "If I Could Write For Magazines I Subscribe To"

Original Song Title:

"If I Could Make A Living"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Clay Walker

Parody Song Title:

"If I Could Write For Magazines I Subscribe To"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

It's that time of year when we receive letters from people who want to reinsure that they love us, be reassured that the feeling is mutual and in their own special bonding kind of way request that the relations we have with them are to remain for another rotation. No, I'm not talking about belated Christmas cards, I'm talking about annual subscription renewal cards, the kind of reminders that can make a broke but avid reader start woolgathering about writing for his favourite magazines instead of just coughing up his last nickels to get to read them. Here's a song about being in that situation (with all magazine titles mentioned translated to English for your convenience).

Minor pacing note: The word subscribe is in this parody to be sung with emphasis on the first syllable, not only because that makes the best match with the original line but because apparently sub is the word the relative conformists (i.e my family) consider to be the best prefix to add to any description of my literary taste and hobbies.

A YouTube version of the original song can currently be found here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B55f09bf-7E
If I could write for magazines I subscribe to
I'd be in Rubber Duck an' in Neural Goo
I would be in Wax Your Nose an' in Stiletto Shoes
If I could write for magazines I subscribe to

Nearly every month when 'round the paycheck comes
I'm punching my head to the wall
Grinding my teeth over lack of bucks
Thinking I might buy the farm

If I could write for magazines I subscribe to
I'd be in Triple X-files an' Bugbear Zoo
I would be in My Quaalude an' Hieroglyphic News
If I could write for magazines I subscribe to

I would work all day from right here at home
More than that 8 to 5
And never would I rip my hair no more
When I'm stuck on some bad rhyme

If I could write for magazines I subscribe to
I'd be a regular in Tattoo Taboo
I would be in Pimp Your Parents an' in Brewski Dude
If I could write for magazines I subscribe to

If I could write for magazines I subscribe to
I'd be a nosy columnist for Sniffing Glue
I'd be milking out the dough from Cows You Can Pursue
If I could write for magazines I subscribe to

If I could write for magazines I subscribe to
I'd work my way to editor of Loving Ewe
I'd be bonking in the barn and bank on what I do
But I can just write ditties and this one is through.
© Peter Andersson.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 5   13
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Dee Range - December 30, 2007 - Report this comment
One of your best, Peter. Very funny, and too bad more people don't know country music. TMGLTM, but "Pimp Your Parents" and "Tattoo Taboo" and "Wax Your Nose" are just a few of the hilarious magazines your read, and lust to write for. High 5's
Wendy Christopher - December 30, 2007 - Report this comment
As someone who is a fan of country music (Yeah, I DID say that out loud!) I loved this one; a brilliant parody of the OS.
(Side note: there isn't really a magazine out there called 'Loving Ewe,' is there? Please tell me there isn't....!)
Matthias - January 14, 2008 - Report this comment
With all of those magazines to read I'm glad you still find time to write awesome country parodies like this one. Now I need to go the lastest issue of "Pimp Your Parents" just came in the mail, and I need to go read it!
Agrimorfee - January 14, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Creative ideas flowing from a simple country song. I like the meta- kick in the last line you wrote, but you skipped the last chorus, darnit.
Peter Andersson - January 18, 2008 - Report this comment
Maybe I oughta give Pimp Your Parents a parody of its own later this year, I'll have to think about that, though the younger writers here could probably do a better up-to-date job with that theme. And Agri, I don't think I've missed a chorus (unless you've judged it by some longer version unknown to me) because I even had to (unwillingly) scratch material for two more choruses, lifting Babes From Katmandu out of the loop, refraining from courting you all to know about So You Like To Sue and leaving stains of tears on the front page of Imbued Canoe, etc…
McKludge - January 20, 2008 - Report this comment
SOTM - An OS like this is why I can't stand country music. This was funny. I wonder if it would have been funnier to use actual magazines that rhyme with "you," like maybe Science News or Stereo Review or Cartoon Cartoons.
Michael E Cormier - January 27, 2008 - Report this comment
SOTM - Good parody.
Guy - January 27, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM Dec 2007) - DKTOS so I had to listen to the OS twice then read this and then the OS once more. Have to agree with the first two commenters here. Well executed and don't sweat that you missed the last chorus.
Max Power - January 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Subscribe to 555 issues
bobpiecheese - January 30, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Interesting, as your work usually is. I'd subscribe to your parodies for 555 years, if you and I live that long.
Invisible Boy - January 30, 2008 - Report this comment
A wonderful romp through your series of...errr...interesting...errr...interests
stuart mcarthur - January 30, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) what? You can get issues of "Loving Ewe" outside of New Zealand? well, I'll be buttered....no I won't guys (heh heh) - the titles were hilarious Peter - btw I heard A Swedish song on the radio today called "Young Uns" I think and I loved it, by Bjorn and _ and _, or something. Do you know that one? Great parody btw - 555
Phil Alexander - January 31, 2008 - Report this comment
"Loving Ewe"? That's the Welsh Fleetwood Mac fan club newsletter, isn't it?
Kristof Robertson - January 31, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I was POSITIVE I'd commented on this already, Peter....never mind. Everyone's gotta have hobbies, haven't they? Fun, fun, fun here. 555
Below Average Dave (badave.com) - January 31, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Me too Kristof, I know I've seen this one already. . .perhaps you did a reedit of it or something Peter? I think this one is funny Peter, but if I could write for the magazines I subscribe to (which right now isn't any) I probably wouldn't subscribe to them:) Clever idea, and clever execution.
Jack Wilson - January 31, 2008 - Report this comment
Loved it! 5s
Jeff Reuben - January 31, 2008 - Report this comment
Very funny idea, I loved the titles for some of your magazines :)
Mikey Squirrel - January 31, 2008 - Report this comment
SOTM- Not a big fan of country music either, but this one one spoke volumes, or should I say, subscriptions to me. Well done, Peter.
EmiLoca - January 31, 2008 - Report this comment
SOTM - This was a brilliant idea that was well executed, though it would have been even funnier to use real magazines. Still... I'm hoping "Loving Ewe" isn't the Playboy of the livestock world.

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