-> "This Ain't ELP"
Original Song Title:
"That's the Way It Is"
Parody Song Title:
"This Ain't ELP"
(The setting: November 1978, at the height of the disco craze. The premise: A young man has entered a record store and is looking at the latest rock albums when the latest ELP release, Love Beach, catches his eye. As he pores over the album and its Bee Gees-esque cover, he finds himself singing a song...)
I have been a fan for eight years of this act,
But this caught me by surprise.
Why'd they choose to pose like the Bee Gees, in fact,
So that I can't believe my eyes?
Please don't tell me they have sold out
To the disco scene!
Where is "Tarkus" or "Pirates" or "Karn Evil 9"
When they pose with their shirts open to their waistlines?
Nowhere as I'm concerned because they look wholly godawful;
This can't be ELP.
"All I Want Is You" starts my prohibition;
It really makes me scream
For the days of Pictures at an Exhibition
When ELP made me dream
Of playing keyboards, the drums or bass
Rather than this crap.
Where is "Hoedown" or "Fanfare for the Common Man"
When all three of the band have been greatly spray-tanned,
Wearing medallions just like good old John Travolta?
Well, this ain't ELP.
When I get back home, I'll call up Steve Dahl
And tell him to take this LP
And drag the needle across the surface
On radio or on TV.
After he drags the pin, we will have a promotion
At the home of the Sox, where we'll get a commotion
To blow up this BS, along with many disco records
'Cos this ain't ELP.
We might save ELP from contract obligations;
Because of Atlantic, they're an abomination.
They could bring their LPs, but they should make this first and foremost
'Cos this ain't ELP.
Don't let anyone hear what this LP has to offer
'Cos it ain't ELP.
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|How Funny: ||4.5|
|Overall Rating: ||4.8|
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