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Song Parodies -> "The Death of Classical Music"

Original Song Title:

"My Heart Will Go On"

Original Performer:

Celine Dion

Parody Song Title:

"The Death of Classical Music"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

4-CD set of "Mozart for Infants" - $24.99. Tickets to Dad's opera performance - $130. Used Oboe - $450. Voice Clinic/Festival in Alaska - $2,455. 11 years of piano lessons - $7,495. An extensive knowledge and appreciation for classical music - useless.
[Full orchestral prelude - screw the low whistle.]

Ev'ry night with my crew
I hear music, feel blue
That's because I know it's all rock

Peers all jam to guitars
Like aspiring rock stars
What happened to Chopin and Bach?

Mozart gave "Twinkle" a "Star"
Yet you leave when the famed song comes on
You're bored by Claude and Igor
And I fear in my heart that
True art will be looked down on.

You're impressed by Britney
But she's no Stravinsky
Granted, he's more Russian (less fun)

When you hear those high strings
Not "Haydn", but unseen
Why do you plug your ears and run?

Your car blasts screeching guitars
While my radio plays Couperin
You snore when Verdi's performed
Now that we've reached a time when
True art's often spat upon.


Oh dear, you're Beethoven's ear
Deaf to all classic art and beyond
Dufay must turn in his grave
"De-composing", decaying
True art is revered...but gone.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   10

User Comments

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Leo Jay - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Seriously -- how did you get to be so good at this at FIFTEEN? Dufay de-composing in his grave? Classic. Classical.
Kristof Robertson - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Wise...and talented...beyond your years. 555
Joelle - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
A classic!
Jim Lewis - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Any harpsichordean reference wins me over. 555
Rick D - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Beautiful. I always tell people that when you learn about classical music, your taste for the pop stuff changes. Those lessons weren't wasted. When I was a kid, the schools took us to operas, taught the great composers, and my generation was part of and listening to the music of the 60's. Then budget cuts came, music training was greatly curtailed, and we got rap and boy bands and Celine. Cause and effect?
Ashkicksass - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
You're 15!?! I had no idea! I couldn't agree more with your parody - it's fabulous. And I can't believe you're 15...
Ashkicksass - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
You do realize my comments about you being only 15 were complimentary, right? You are such a great parody author, and seem pretty dang mature. That's why I was so surprised about your age...
EmiLoca - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh, wow...I don't know what to say! Okay, I take that back...of course I know what to say. Thanks to Leo, Kristof, Joelle, Jim, Rick (Amen, brotha), and Ash for the votes and comments! I blush with the giggly girlish thrill of receiving positive feedback. To Ash - SEEM is the key word there. ;-)
Serafina - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
This one was okay; it could have been better. I'm 28 and I don't have a whole lotta time to write parodies; I'm busy with work. 5-3-4.
neminem - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Ah, I know all about the "giggly girlish thrill of receiving positive feedback" ;-). Though it should be pointed out that the "decomposing" joke isn't one that originated here, as I've heard it a number of places previously in one form or another. Hehe... the couplet "Your car blasts screeching guitars / While my radio plays Couperin" reminds me of the time North, the dorm across from mine, was playing loud, bad rap like it always does, and someone in East had the brilliant idea of getting out our own speakers and blasting opera out of it. It was genius. Anyway, 5'd.
EmiLoca - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
I should have pointed that out, as well. Bad Emi for subtely taking credit for someone else's overdone joke! Thanks to Serafina (although your vote was so CLEARLY a 5-3-3, you manipulator!) for the honest feedback, and neminem for the funny anecdote. My Dad is constantly playing opera music (often of himself, to maintain an inflated ego), and he often does something similar to your story when he stops by a car blasting rap or metal. Gee, he knows how to embarass the immature 15-year-old.
Serafina - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
You're right, it was 5-3-3; my finger must have slipped on the keyboard. Sorry about that. ;D
Bush League - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, little Emi, I'm 50 and have a REAL job, and the work I do is very, VERY important, so I really don't have time to waste surfing the web reading 'just ok' parodies and leaving patronizing comments, BUT I thought I'd just take a minute and do you the honor of bestowing my compliments about the "Not Haydn, but unseen" line. It could have been so much more clever, but it still sort of impressed me... sort of... So my compliments.

Okay, I have to leave now -- I'm a very busy person, you know, so don't expect me to return to this parody A SECOND time, to leave ANOTHER comment. ;-)
EmiLoca - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
All right, Bush League, just for that little crack at my VERY important...part-time...job, I not only stick my tongue at you, I put BOTH fingers in my ears, wiggle the remaining, and sneer, "Nyah!" How's THAT for mature?!?
Bush League - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
What? You only have two fingers? And how do you type when they're both in your rear?

Oh, wait -- did you say your 'ears'? Sorry.
lebeiw15 - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
TVOD - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey, lebeiw15, nice to hear from you again, buddy! For the past few months I thought you stopped writing parodies or something, but maybe you were on hiatus? Anyway, welcome back.
Oh, this parody gets 5,5,5.
Ricky Martin - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Who's... the... op... era... star...
livin' with EmiLoca?
Who? He? He's her pa!
Livin' with EmiLoca!

Nice job, EmiLoca -- when you gonna do one of my songs?
EmiLoca - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Wow, I think that might actually be the REAL Ricky Martin...;-) All in due time, my banging hombre. Thanks to lebeiw15 (very to-the-point, I like it), TVOD (though voting was not her top priority :P), Bush League (for making me laugh...and look stupid) and the various anonymous 5-ers. Keep on 5'n.
TV O.D. - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Excuse me EmiLoca, but I'm male. And I did vote 5,5,5. Look at my previous comment (6:04:44 PM) and you'll see that.
EmiLoca - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh, did I say "her"? Oops, sorry. You see, with only two fingers, it's quite hard to type everything correctly...and when I mentioned the top priority bit, I was referring to how you mentioned the fact that you were voting at the very last second, after you were done congratulating lebeiw. My apologies.
lebeiw15 - June 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Hi TVOD. It had been since December or so since I'd written anything.. I just haven't had any inspiration. I hope this summer I start cranking out the ol' two a day, like I used to...
JARLB - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Beautiful! Pultrichudinous! Clearly an appreciation for music here, and some puns that make me Larfmabuttov (he could be a composer). One pathetically agonising flaw that my anal-retentive mind of lame humour has to get closure on: puns on how jamming guitars is as obnoxious as 'Choppin' bark' Good 'Liszt' of work though.
Tibbygirl - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm sorry to say that I didn't know who half the people were that you were talking about...but all the same I got the point. It was vewy good!!!
TVOD - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Well then, good luck lebeiw. I've been away from the site myself for the past few months; back in March, when the site was going so slow, I wondered if it was crashing; I was afraid to go back. But now it looks like everything is okay. - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
To nem's comment: Monty Python has a song called "Decomposing Composers." Great stuff.

And speaking of great stuff, you got it, Emi l'oca. I particularly liked your use of the Haydn pun and "more Russian (less fun)."
EmiLoca - June 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Fanks, Schpaff. Much luv tuya.
WhizkidF - June 25, 2004 - Report this comment
What an emotional song, EmiLoca, and it's a really good tear-jerker. I'm a classical music buff and it really breaks my heart when I read it (e.g. people hearing screeching guitars while your radio blares out Couperin's harpsichord music). What a good way to educate people about the declining classical music industry to young people, and I rate this 555.
EmiLoca - June 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Whizkid! I'm glad you liked it so much. And...harpsichords are awesome.
Diddims - July 02, 2004 - Report this comment
So sad that it is; smut And filth far outweighs art And beauty. And such a glut Of young "musicians" lacking talent. So bright that thou art! Tnn gu bheil mise (Sick that I am) Aig an salachar gu (At the filth that) Bheil againne... (We have...) Glic gu bheil thu...! (Bright that you are...!) D thachair ri eadhlain...? (What happened to art...?)
berlioz - September 05, 2004 - Report this comment
classical music has not met its demise! lovers of igor, dmitri, franz, johannes, felix, hector, amadeus, et al: UNITE!
Meg - April 02, 2007 - Report this comment
So cool! Go classical music!

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