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Song Parodies -> "The Biscuits"

Original Song Title:

"The Distance"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Cake

Parody Song Title:

"The Biscuits"

Parody Written by:

Ethan Mawyer

The Lyrics

Excitedly waits for the buffet line
Hungry, heavy and ready to dine
Now the place opens, it's six O'clock
He glows cause he knows the place is well stocked
His first plate is filled with every kind of nut
Food flying fast to a growing gut
Pizza, then pasta, then spare ribs with ham
The waiters are watching and thinking "God damn"
In fact he's still not finished, he gets some fish
He eats that then he gets another dish
Now it is nine-thirty, and yet this one dude
Is crunching and munching and eating more food
He does not feel that he has eaten enough
And long ago you or I would have been stuffed
But he's munching and crunching and eating more grub
I wonder if that guy could fit in a tub

He's going for biscuits
He's going for sweets
Cause long ago
He ate all the meats
And now he's grasping and clasping some candy and bread
He's huffin' and puffin' with muffins in his head
He's going for biscuits

It's late now, so leave now, the waiting staff begs
He's tired from eating and can't move his legs
The waiters try to push him out the door
But he just, will not budge, he weighs 604
They get him, to leave after, three hours it seems
They still think of him during terrible dreams
Of him grasping and clasping some candy and bread
And huffin' and puffin' with muffins in his head
He did not feel that he had eaten enough
And long ago you or I would have been stuffed
He's forbidden no kiddin' from that buffet place
But he'll find somewhere else to go stuff his face

And he's going for biscuits
He's going for sweets
Cause long ago
He ate all the meats
He will be grasping and clasping some candy and bread
And huffin' and puffin' with muffins in his head
He's grasping and clasping some candy and bread
And huffin and puffin with muffins in his head
He's going for biscuits
He's going for sweets
He's going for biscuits...

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 37

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 1
 0
 
 3   0
 1
 1
 
 4   3
 2
 4
 
 5   32
 32
 31
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Klaire - February 24, 2003 - Report this comment
Ha ha ha! This song is so great! (So much better than a lot of the stuff I've seen on here.) Too bad more people haven't voted on this song, but they're all reading the Britney Spears and American Pie parodies instead of anything with taste… .
Prue - June 13, 2003 - Report this comment
hahah it was brilliant, every word fit right in there!
Claude Prez - June 13, 2003 - Report this comment
Awesome! Never noticed this one before. Great job.
Bob O'Mara - November 17, 2003 - Report this comment
I was told to check out this parody, and it was a worthwhile thing to do! Great parody, man! Fits well with the song's original lyrics, not to mention its funny!
Jake - November 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Funny Stuff ! Wish i could find the MP3 of this song ,iv heard it on the radio.
Ezra - September 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Wow! This is great! Very original. The pacing and the words were just right. This is truely, one of the best parodies I've ever seen.
Robyn lewis love of american pie - March 18, 2006 - Report this comment
I love american pie. PIE HATER!!!
Porkbeard - June 26, 2006 - Report this comment
Outstanding! I thought this was incredibly funny and very well paced!
CenComm - September 24, 2007 - Report this comment
This is so funny and well written.
Bamarider - March 30, 2009 - Report this comment
This is the BEST parody I have EVER HEARD. It's SOOO funny, it keeps the beat, and is super creative. I love it!!
Jonathan S. - June 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Very well-written. You must have worked your (burger) buns off writing this one. 556
MadameBisQuit - June 10, 2009 - Report this comment
" . . . I like my biscuits, H O T , birthday Gal !Hallmark cowboy: HallMark.com #kb 54-9 . . . oh lookin' soooo fine !
------------------------------------------------- - October 29, 2012 - Report this comment
n o l o i t e r i n g alloud

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