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Song Parodies -> "Dad, Peregrin"

Original Song Title:

"Bad Medicine"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Bon Jovi

Parody Song Title:

"Dad, Peregrin"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

I wanted something special to celebrate 300 parodies, so I kept back a trio that I liked for when I reached the milestone. Unfortunately, then I couldn't decide which one I liked best, so I'm posting all three.

This one marks a change in tactics by Sauron, along with an understandable inability to distinguish one hobbit from another, gives Pippin his own "Skywalker" moment.....from the film "Star of the Rings" (or was it "Lord Wars")?
That's right, I'm your dad, Peregrin
Dad, Peregrin - yes that's me
Oh check it out, I'm your dad, Peregrin
Me or Gandalf - who you gonna believe?

Now I know you ain't no fool, I know you ain't a moron
But I'm telling you it's true, that your father is me, Sauron
That's right if you come with me, together we can have such fun
Ruling over Middle Earth as Overlord and son
So hand over that ring, I know you know the One

But you say - I don't believe you and I'm sure that you're wrong
Oh, no way - I've never felt that Mordor's where I belong
Not today - Excuse me Sauron, tell me: what ARE you on?
Silence, little hobbit for you're missing the point
Oh, that's right, I'm your dad, Peregrin
Dad, Peregrin you know that it's true
Ain't no doubt, I'm your dad, Peregrin
Even though I'm ten times taller than you
Dad, dad, Peregrin
Dad, dad, Peregrin

Have you ever been so naughty and you knew you couldn't stop it
It's the underlying evil and it ain't 'cause you're a hobbit
Pippin, don't you understand what all this misbehaving means:
Like me, you're evil too and it's pre-programmed in your genes
So forget those elves and humans - come and join my evil schemes

But you say - Have you considered this might be a mistake
Oh, no way - I'm just a hobbit with a penchant for cake
Not today - It's just the future of the whole world stake
Silence, little hobbit for you're missing the point
Oh, that's right, I'm your dad, Peregrin
So come with me, make my family complete
Ain't no doubt, I'm your dad, Peregrin
Even though I ain't got hairs on my feet
Dad, dad, Peregrin
Dad, dad, Peregrin

What's this: Now you're telling me that you haven't got the ring
And that Baggins is the one - no, not another damn halfling
I'm afraid you aren't the hobbit that I thought you to be
What gives you the idea that you're related to me?

No way, I can't be your dad, Peregrin
You're mad Peregrin, you're never the one
Oh, it's too bad, don't be sad, Peregrin
'Scuse me while I go and look for Frodo, my son
Dad, dad, Peregrin
Dad, dad, Peregrin

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   0
 0
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 5   6
 6
 6
 

User Comments

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EmiLoca - March 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, if this means that Sauron might resemble Billy Boyd, I'd be on his side in a heartbeat! All 5's for making me feel attracted to a gigantic fiery eye.
Peregrin - March 28, 2004 - Report this comment
I deny everything! I refuse to take a DNA test! I feel violated! 5's Phil, and thank you, but let me ask you this....Peregrin, a "dad"? How could this be so?
Phil Alexander - March 29, 2004 - Report this comment
No, Pippin - I'm not accusing you of having sired Sauron illegitimately, it's t'other way around.
Adagio - March 29, 2004 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but I really enjoyed it. Esp. the switcheroo part by Sauron from Pippin to Frodo. :D
Johnny D - March 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Brilliant insanity, simply brilliant. 555
Paul Robinsonq - March 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Phil - this really is a switch! After watching about an hour + a few minutes so far of the "Fellowship" episode of LOTR I kinda know what you are talking about here, well, sort of...but I don't know the Bon Jovi song.
Rice Cube - March 30, 2004 - Report this comment
You're so weird.
Peregrin - March 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Sorry Phil! That'll teach me to read it when I am on NO sleep!
Phil Alexander - March 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Paulq - looks like I'll have to try recording it: I found a Vader-voice effects plug-in a while back.. have to see if it's still available
Rice - I'll take that as a compliment ;-)
Pippin - who's ya daddy?
2nz - March 31, 2004 - Report this comment
If there were any doubts in my mind about your messageboard name, you have put them to rest with this excellently written work. And that's from a DKTOS. If I get the chance to hear this song, I promise I'll come back and vote, but I have a feeling another 555 is coming your way.
Michael Pacholek - March 31, 2004 - Report this comment
Sauron is Peregrin's father? Oh, sure, next thing you're gonna tell me is that Sauron's power comes not from the One Ring but from the sled he had as a kid.
The Sled Inscription - October 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Ash Rosebud durbatuluk
Ash Rosebud gimpatul
Ash Rosebud thrakatuluk
Agh Orson-Wellzi krimpatul

Translation into The Common Speech:

One sled to fool them all
One sled to slide them
One sled to bring them all
And in the orc-mess ride them
In the land of Orson where they sell no rotgut wine before its time
Phil Alexander - October 12, 2004 - Report this comment
:-) Excellent!
Johnny "Author of The Sled Inscription" D - October 12, 2004 - Report this comment
:-D Thank you, Philbo!
Adagio - October 12, 2004 - Report this comment
(Fantasy/Sci-Fi) DKTOS good one...commented
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - October 13, 2004 - Report this comment
(SCI-FI) Great angle. Great rhyming. Now for the shocking news that Arwen is Aragon's sister!
Johnny D - October 16, 2004 - Report this comment
(Sci-Fi/Fantasy) See above.
Guy - October 17, 2004 - Report this comment
(SCI-FI) DKTOS I liked it as much as I could follow it as I am not up on LOTR.
Jeff Reuben - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Awesome song...loved the Star Wars twist!
Paul Robinson - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment
(Sci-Fi) Phil, I didn't get far enough into the part of the one 'Rings' movie I saw to be familiar with this plot. And I'm DKTOS on the Bon Jovi number as well. Sorry...
2nz - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Would you believe I still gotta DKTOS? Still an excellent read, though. Allow me to reinstate what I said much, much earlier.
martha - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
only partially acquainted with the saga so don't get all the subtleties .. but great rhyming .. especially the sauron/moron lines...

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