Every time I think that
I'm the worst one on the planet
Someone comes along
And every now and then
I cross my fingers and my toes
That someone proves me wrong

And then along comes stupid (stupid stupid)
Then along comes stupid (stupid stupid)

And boy he acts a total git and does the classic trip
Into a heap of doggie mess
Of course he acts a total fool, makes me look cool but how he does that
I could never guess

Cause I'm the worst person of the bunch
Now I look good cause he is eating Spot's lunch
Eating Spot's lunch

So my desire is to hire
A big loon to act the doofus
Just to make me great
So when I'm feeling kinda down
Covered in yolks from folks
Who say that I am dumb and gay

And then along comes stupid (stupid stupid)
Then along comes stupid (stupid stupid)

And does he want to work for free or
Will he set a standard fee
For acting like a chump
And if he goes on strike
If I don't pay him what he likes then I
Will pay him much too much

He shows up and he acts like a putz
And then later I say to him 'Thanks a bunch!'
'Thanks a whole bunch!'

It is amazing that he's willing to
Act stupid so that I
Will not look quite as bad
Although he's always acted that way, but
Now he does it for me
When I am told I'm crap

And then along comes stupid (stupid stupid)
Then along comes stupid (stupid stupid)

And nowadays the guys like me
Cuz when I'm seen along comes Gene
And he'll fall on his face
Of course Gene knows this truth but he's still cool
With it, he'll act the fool
And then his pool of cash inflates

He shows up and he acts like a putz
And when I pay him, he will say 'Thanks a bunch!'
'Thanks a whole bunch!'

He shows up and he acts like a putz
And when I pay him, he will say 'Thanks a bunch!' x6

'Thanks a whole bunch!'